The 4 best ways of the therapist to stay calm during stressful vacation gatherings
Avoid returning to toxic models with these simple tips.
With high expectations for the joy of the holidays, family gatherings can be stressful for all those involved. To make matters worse, if you tend to have a Tight relationship With your family, you can find yourself regressing in well -used models that make you more subject to judgments, arguments or anger. That is why Jeff Guenther , LPC, therapist and content creator Who goes through Jeff therapy on social networks, recently shared his four best ways to stay calm during a stressful vacation gathering, focusing especially on people who find themselves reviewing the toxic family dynamics they have left.
You can Head to Tiktok To see his tirade resolutely NSFW full of advice or read more for our cleaned version of his ideas to make you spend this holiday season.
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1 Limit your feelings of obligation.
Being in a family sometimes means putting aside your own feelings for greater peace. However, Guenther says that it is important to limit your feelings of obligation to family members if they have done little for Win your confidence or affection.
"Remember that it is completely normal not to want to proximity to certain family members even if they are your biological parents. Being linked," he said.
2 Give yourself permission to change and grow.
GUENTHER suggests that a common cause of conflicts during family vacation gatherings is that a person has grown up, while other "stagnant" family members consider their nature changed as betrayal or rejection. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
"You abandon their toxic system. It is easier for them to blame you rather than to face their own responsibility for the injuries they have caused. Do not forget, it is not your fault for it to be A better person, "he said.
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3 Honor your declared limits.
If you do not communicate your limits, you cannot expect people to honor them. However, once you have shared these limits with others, it is just to hold them firmly, explains Guenther.
"Be in front of the mirror and firmly recite this assertion:" My intention is peace and harmony. I will hold a space for family members without judgment because I am the biggest person and I am proud of it. They do their best. But let it be clear - if another person crosses a clearly indicated border, I will apologize, "he said.
4 Focus on the physical.
Dotted with his advice so that you "hide in the bathroom asking yourself ... how you are linked to these people" are two excellent advice to calm you physically.
First of all, Geunther suggests that you can reset your sympathetic nervous system by simply adding water: "Light the tap and let your hands slide under cold water to lower the temperature of your body."
Second, he recommends taking a moment to practice breath control before returning to the rally. "Plant on the ground, come back against the wall and engage in slow and deep breathing," he recommends.
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