I am a researcher of the forties and here is how I finally became happy at 50
Investing in your own emotional intelligence can lead to a happier life, he says.
People often say that young people are wasted on young people, but for Chip conley ,, entrepreneur, author , and the founder of Modern Elder Academy, true happiness and wisdom came with age. He recently said that it was because the age of 50 allowed him to develop High emotional intelligence , which, according to him, is the secret to live a more fulfilled and joyful life.
"It seems absurd, but at 63, I can say that the last decades have been a story of two midlives: a very dark from my 1930s to -40, and a really splendid ... starting when I reached 50 years," Conley wrote In an opinion article in the first person for CNBC.
In relation: 8 affirmations to feel ridiculously happy every day retired .
While writing his book Learn to love intermediate life: 12 reasons why life improves with age - which officially struck the shelves last month - Conseley realized that it had experienced spectacular growth of its emotional intelligence. So much so that it had an impact on other parts of his life and has become "a crucial ingredient to stimulate happiness and resilience," he wrote for CNBC. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
Emotional intelligence - also known as "emotional quotient" or someone's equation - can be better defined as "the ability to identify and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others", explain Psychology today .
As with all other skills in your mental health tool box, the sharpening of your emotional intelligence allows you to think about the interior, to recognize the present, adaptation mechanism.
"The treatment of emotions means being able to recognize and recognize what you experience emotionally, to examine what causes emotions, to explore means of resolving emotional difficulties and going from experience", Psychotherapist Chris Rabanera , psychotherapist and founder of The basic equalizer , previously told Better life .
As Conley pointed out, higher emotional intelligence can lead to stronger community ties, deeper relationships and the ability to better "emphasize with the emotions of others". These are all advantages that Conley has seen in his own life.
"As I get older, I have softened myself ... and not only around my belly. I feel less ego and more soul. I feel more deeply for the circumstances of the life of others," he writes.
Now in the sixties, Conley says that he has a larger compassion for others, is less emotionally reactive and puts more value in his relationships.
Although emotional intelligence requires being in line with yourself, a large part of it also has to do with the fact of being aware of the feelings of others. For example, those who have a high emotional intelligence can show a "real curiosity on the emotional life of those around them", " Connor Moss , LMFT, therapist with Pacific psychotherapy , said Better life .
"Ask questions anchored in a real interest in the way others feel and navigate in their emotional worlds can extend your understanding and potentially deepen your relationships," said Moss.
On the other hand, there is one thing such that weak emotional intelligence . According to experts, people with weaker equalizer tend to lack self -awareness, sensitivity and good listening skills, and their capacity for empathy can be limited.
"A person with a lower equalizer will not ask empathetic questions", " James Miller , a psychotherapist and host of Radio Lifeology , previously told Better life . "Instead, they will use facts and data to converse and are often blind to the social clues."
The good news is that you can always cultivate higher emotional intelligence if you are ready to do the work. Of course, it will also take time - but as Conley underlines so eloquently, emotional intelligence grows with age.