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With all political disorders and devastating losses in Israel and Gaza, it was a difficult month for the people of the world. A New York Magazine 's Pivot podcast , Kara Swisher and Nyu teacher Scott Galloway welcomed the psychotherapist Esther Perel To discuss the impact that the Israel-Hamas war has on people. During the podcast, she revealed seven ways of staying calm when it feels like the world collapses.

The first thing to do is take a moment and let everything sink. Perel explains that in the initial moment, "we do not work through anything" and people are in shock. "People are emotionally numb. People are in deep and deep sorrow. People are afraid. There is terror, and there is a counter-terrorist terrorism and on all sides." Right now, people have "just started to understand" and should not react immediately.

While "the answer when we are attacked, and we are an animal as we are, is that we try to counterattack and go stronger, harder and to defend ourselves and not feel the helplessness, weakness and terror that invades us: "Perel recommends not to do it. "All this is deeply animal and it is probably very important not to take much, a lot of moral positions on this subject, especially for people who are far away. There is so much hatred and it is very important that people who Fight with these fights fight the factions do not add more oil to fire and closed hatred any more, "she said. "Wounding people, injuring people and the point that it really might dehumanize us, we think we have been dehumanized, we answer with the same. We think it will protect us. And sometimes it is. And and. Then sometimes it goes so far and it even destroys us. "

"So what you do after that, when you feel like the tide gets up in you and you just have the impression that you don't know what to do with everything that is that the most is you Bringing together with others to live a collectively collective trauma, to understand that it changes something in the world, not only in the Middle East, and read poetry, to talk about what happened, ask the people where they find it, "she said. "I think that AlyShip is extremely important in a moment like this," she continues. "So now, when someone writes just to say it, I know you have an attachment to this place, or I know you know people there, or I know you were recently, or something Who says, I know I see you. There is nothing else for me to say. And you answer, it means a lot. You have thought of me, I exist in your collective conscience. "

Perel also suggests that you should "listen" and "try not to judge" other people. "We can embark on political discussions. We know what history is. We are a group of informed people, but that's not the time. It's like people did not have many rationality. So, you hold, you content, you do them you feel that you want to hear it, you can tolerate it, you care and you create an envelope, "she said.

"What helps a lot in general, what helps a lot is that people become active, to do something, so as not to have the impression of being sitting there helpless, to take everything," She declared. "Volunteer, send things, write to people, alert people, inform, read carefully and read things that don't just describe your side of your position," suggests Perel.

Perel also suggests using social media with caution, because messages are often misinterpreted. Instead, she suggests talking to people about the situation in the flesh. She points out that people "always look at their phones, they are online. And I think this situation in Israel is even worse because of this, right? There is nowhere to cry. You can't have Discussion on this subject. And therefore, everyone interacts there and not between them. You certainly would not have the same bite that you have spoken in person. In a physical situation, "she said. When connecting to social networks, it is only a "partial connection" and should only be used to bring people together physically. "The platforms are useful, but they are useful for us to get them down."

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"Tere can be difficult between trying to remain informed," explains Perel, discussing the dangers of "scrolling unhappiness" or the search for horrible images. "If you've seen an image once, if you read the story, don't go and look for the image," she said. "Don't look at him again and again. You will not sleep. You will literally sleep. I don't sleep and I didn't look much. I'm just talking to people and that's enough." AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

Esther Perel is psychotherapist and author. For more than 30 years, she has advised people, struggling with love, infidelity, sorrow and loneliness. As a host of the Podcast Vox Media, where to start? Esther invites listeners to her office every week as she helps real couples to work through conflicts. Esther, we are happy to have you this week because many people are struggling with what they see in the news. So where does someone start when it comes to managing what's going on in Israel at an emotional level?