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While you are forced to in disagreement with your partner From time to time in any relationship, these small disputes do not have to transform into a full -fledged fight. The problem is that when we are in the middle of an argument, it often seems that a serious spit is inevitable - and this can do real long -term damage. The animated arguments make the two parties feel badly understood and unknown, which could possibly "lead to a break in communication and confidence", " Kalley Hartman , LMFT, a approved therapist And the clinical director of Ocean Recovery in Newport Beach, California, says Better life . To avoid this, experts highlight the importance of bringing conflicts back to a manageable level. Read the rest to discover five effective ways to defuse a fight with your partner.

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The language you use in an argument is important. In fact, one of the most effective descenda tools for relationships forces you to focus on "I" declarations Bree Vanley , LPC, a Therapist and owner heart issues therapy.

"One of the advantages of the use of" I "declarations is to reduce misunderstandings and conflicts by reducing the blame, criticism or attack on discourse that can be used during communication," she.

Laurie Groh , Ms, a approved therapist And the co -owner of Shoreside Therapies in Wisconsin, says that this is something you should do at the beginning of any dispute. According to Groh, the search for a notable relational psychologist John Gottman Indicates that the first three seconds of a discussion can dictate how the rest of the conversation takes place.

"Using a softer way to lift a complaint [is] better," she says. "An example: instead of saying:" Why do you never listen to me ", say:" I would like you to hear me on this subject. ""

This does not mean that you should not recognize what your partner says in an argument. Trisha Wolfe , LPCC, a approved therapist And the owner of CBUS therapy, says it is important to verbally sum up your partner's feelings and experiences during disagreements.

"Take the habit of making declarations with clarifying questions like:" What I hear is that you feel angry at having forgotten to pay the credit card bill again. Is it correct? "", She says. "This shows that you actively listen to your partner's needs and that you can think precisely about what's going on in the conversation."

Show your significant that you "make an effort to understand their point of view" can go a long way when it comes to avoiding a fight, according to Katie Adam , a psychologist and Mental Health First Trainer At Skills Training Group.

"Try to put yourself in the place of your partner and to see the situation from their point of view the next time you have an argument or you get involved with them," advises Adam. "By showing the other individual whom you respect his position while retaining yours, [you] can generally defuse any situation."

Read this then: Not doing this is the reason why most couples are fighting, says a new study .

Of course, it's not just what You say it can degenerate a disagreement. It is also important to pay attention to the way you speak by "checking your volume and tone", according to Vanley.

"Criant can lead to a full-fledged fight or to your partner," she notes.

Harman Awal , a Expert in meetings and in relation At Cupid and Cuddles, recommend that couples focus on speech in a calm and low voice when they have a controversial conversation. "Depending on the volume and speaking softer can help cool any fight before it gets worse," she explains.

Excuses are a tool that people use too much or not enough. When you fight with a partner, Hartman says it is crucial for you to apologize when necessary. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Sometimes he fought in a spiral because one or both parties are too stubborn to apologize or take responsibility for their part in the argument," she explains. "If you have done something wrong, simple apology can greatly help defuse the fight."

You should even work to assume responsibility for how you act in an argument during The argument, according to Awal. Sometimes our anger ends up talking about us first, but that doesn't mean you have to let it slip.

"If something offensive slips out of your mouth before you can stop, apologize right away and explain why what you said was bad or wrong, even if the other person did not Not yet realized, "she said.

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If in doubt, learn to move away from an argument. The simple fact of pressing the break button can be an effective way to defuse a fight with your partner, according to Rachel Kaplan , LCSW, a psychotherapist with his own Private psychotherapy practice .

"When the emotions are high and you feel reactive, it can be difficult to remember that there is space to take a break between an emotion and a response or a behavior," she said.

Kaplan recommends that couples consider choosing a code word that they can use during the spots to let the other person know that they must move away from the conversation for a while.

"They can use this word to signify each other that they must take a break, take a while to cool off, then approach the conflict in a more constructive and productive way," she explains.