30 worst things that dad can tell their children
"Excellent job" is not such a good thing to say.
Done: What you tell your children.
On ato study Published inACTA PediactricaChildren are more likely to succeed later in life if their fathers are present and if they communicate important information effectively from regular intervals. But a lack of communication - or worse: a regular communication ineffective - can really hurt to last from your childhood. For example, if you fight your child in high stress, they will internalize your words (probably average) and go out for the worst. To make sure you say only the best tips at the best times, go to throw these sentences with your child.
1 "I do everything for you."
Yes, we get it - you have at least a good part of your income to keep your family, while being completely disinterested and loving. But saying that this to your children will only make them feel constantly ungrateful, even if they are not, said Brad Mr. Reedy, Ph.D., co-founder and clinical director of the therapy programs Evoke and author ofThe journey of the heroic parent: the struggle of your child and the road at home.
2 "'B' are fine, but an" a "is better."
On ato study published in thePersonality Journal and Social Psychology, putting all the emphasis on the notes and academic achievements of a young age will actually make your childworseat school. Although it is to think that your child is a genius, it is better to encourage them to fail and pursue other creative efforts.
3 "I used drugs when I was a child."
Saying that this to a child gives them pretty much people to experiment,said Dennis Ponccher, author and founder of the support group networkBecause I love you. Instead of taking the faucet or Cool-Dad approach about it, make an honest conversation with your children. You may have hired illegal behavior when you were younger, but that does not mean they should follow the same path.
4 "It's not that big deal."
When your child stresses on something, it can be easy to blow problems that do not seem stressful for you. Unfortunately, this practice can make your child feel ashamed to have emotions and anxiety. Instead of shaming their emotion, recognize them and speak openly about their feelings.
5 "Are you doing well!"
When your child suffers from any number of injuries - light knee scratches with broken bones (Ouch!) - The last thing you want to do is brush their pain. In fact, they do not go well. And it's okay! In these situations, it is important to remain patient and validate their feelings, declares Denise Daniels, parenthood and the child's development expert, and inventor ofModamsters.
6 "You are so lazy."
Attempting to motivate your child with this insult will make them less willing to work harder. Often, there is a valuable reason why they are lazy on a certain subject, a sport or a hobby, even - and it's your duty as a parent to access the root of the problem.
7 "Stop being a baby."
Again, in all situations, recognize the feelings of your child, says Daniels. And remember that your child acts as a child because-shocking-They are always a child. You can not expect that they manage all situations with a maturity they do not have yet.
8 "You live under my roof, you follow my rules."
What a father thing to say. Threatening your child in this way makes them feel as if they are not welcome and is often an empty threat to start because you are probably not aside your child from home for small offenses, declares sanding.
9 "What is this dark product on your face?"
When your daughter (or your son) start experimenting with different makeup and fashion choices, the last thing you want to do is make them feel self-conscious. Instead, put them in an effort to take them to makeup classes, or even better, give them the freedom to experiment with their own words. They will thank you for this freedom of expression later in life.
10 "This outfit is not good about you."
Once again, unless they do not break a dress code or wear something extremely offensive, do not question your child's freedom of expression. If nothing else, they will have some hilarious way to look back, just like all other humans.
11 "Ugh. You are like your mother."
There is nothing worse than simultaneously put your spouse and child with this line. And,according to Crystal Rice, an authorized social worker, an inheritance of children and a consultant at the Insieme Consulting, this statement makes your child feel obliged to choose one side or watching a parent on the top.
12 "You are an idiot!"
While no one is the perfect parent - and yes, we all let temperames lose this line to your child can be incredibly injuring and damaged. After a derogatory period used, a child will probably block everything that has been said and simply think about the names they have been called.
13 "I do not know who ate your candy ..."
It does not lie your children. On ato study Performed by the Association for Psychological Science, the use of sarcasm at a young age will only trust your children.
14 "Mom does not cry. All is well!"
With regard to spinal conflicts, children are more perceptive than you might think, according to ato study published in thePersonality Bulletin and Social Psychology. As it turns out, evolve your own feelings can lead your child the same way later in life.
15 "It's not very lodylike from you."
As a father, saying that this line is only triggered as a gender. Avoid this statement if you aim to empower your daughter, instead of laying societal expectations of his path.
16 "The boys should fight."
If your child is intimidated, it can be easy to tell him (or her) to fight.According to An article by CNN, teach your children to strike (physically or metaphorically), learns them to use that violence instead of a calm and logical problem solving.
17 "You are a boy. You are supposed to love sport."
Surprise, surprise - not all boys like sport ... and not all girls like to take dance classes. Let your kids choose their own hobbies and they will thank you later.
18 "Stop crying."
Once again, the invalidation of your child's emotions will only make them more willing to ignore important feelings later in life,according to Debbie Glassher, Ph.D., Director of Family Support Services at the Institut Mailman Segal for early childhood studies at Nova Southeast University. By discussing your child's feelings, you allow them to talk openly about what the wings - and prove that you will always be there for them.
19 "Stop being such a girl."
This is another sexist replica that you, especially as a man, do not have the right to tell your children. By comparing a bad or weak behavior to "being such a girl", you fundamentally imply that being a woman is under them, which is of course not.
20 "Man."
This is another example where you compare weakness to a woman. Just do not do it, guy.
21 "Good work."
While positive reinforcement is always great, you could excrete a little,according to Jim Taylor, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at the University of San Francisco. Instead of renting them for every good action or accomplishment (the finish of a meal is not worthy of the praise), focus on the complication of their greatest achievements. And instead of giving a general compliment, make it more personalized so that they know exactly what they did.
22 "We can not afford that."
When you insist on money, your child also insists on money. Instead, when the budget does not allow a new toy or a new gadget, it is enough to tell them to tell them the truth - that they save more important purchases. This habit will make your child more likely to save money instead of spending it immediately.
23 "Be careful."
According toPetra Eperjesi of the Child and Nature Alliance of Canada, saying that this to your child while trying a bold act can instill a certain unnecessary fear, a person who should not necessarily be there. So, the next time your child is on the monkey bars, let them simply have fun without your worry coming to their good time.
24 "You are a bad child."
This one should be a non-obvious.
25 "You leave your team down."
Let's face her-if your child has made a mistake that cost their team the game, they are already feeling this guilt. It is not necessary to emphasize the defects they are already aware,said Sports Psychologist Ciarán Dalton. We assure them that everyone makes mistakes - and encourage them to return to the field to improve their skills.
26 "I am too busy."
Of course, you can be overwhelmed at work, but when your children seek to spend time with you - or even ask for a question of homework - you have to make a common practice to avoid pronouncing this sentence. Not only will it tell them that you do not have time for them, it will also trust you less. You can always find the time for your children.
27 "You have a terrible taste in music / movies / art / sports."
Instead of criticizing their taste, try to know their favorite groups, artists and sports teams. You never know, you have just found a new way to bind yourself with your child.
28 "When I was your age, I had the hottest girlfriend."
Take a point to not objectify women around your children, otherwise they are likely to follow your traces.
29 "Your mother spends more money on shoes than on you."
Whether you are always with your co-parent or not, you should always respect them in front of your children,according to Parental divorce and coach Rosalind Sedacca. Simply, you will lose the confidence of your children and give them an unwanted anxiety and depression thanks to a bad hiring of your co-mother. It is not necessary to drag innocent children into a fight that is only between yourself and the co-parent.
30 Nothing.
We should not have to say that fathers barely, can significantly damage a child. When you are not there, or choose to shut up during the important moments, it can seriously damage self-confidence and trust your child, according to oneto study Made by scholars at Princeton University, Cornell University and the University of California, Berkeley. These issues have been linked, among other things, rates of lower secondary school diploma and increased consumption of adolescent drugs.
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