Good Lifestyle

Whether you've binded the node or have been with your spouse for decades, keep a happy,healthy marriage is not easy feat. It seems to be especially trueAfter the age of 40When transfer priorities, financial concerns and empty Nest syndrome can all conspire to create a discord where there was no one before.

In fact, while thedivorce rate For younger couples declined over the last 20 years, it has increased considerably for 14% people in the last 25 years for those people aged 40 to 49 and more than 109% in adults of 50 years and over, according to thePEW Research Center. So, how do you make sure that "I do" last forever? Start with these tips to be a better woman after 40 years.

Be physically present with your spouse is not the same as to be emotionally present. If you want to improve your wedding after your40th anniversaryMake sure you pay attention to your partner and you're not just sitting in the same room as they.

"Being attentive with your partner allows them to feel that you are present in the moment and that you enjoy spending quality time with them," said Expert DatingMaria Sullivanvice-president ofDating.com.

One of the most common sources of tension in along-wedding said "I'm fine," while specifying with your actions that you are anything but. Being honest about how you feel, even if it leads to disagreements, you will serve you and your spouse in the long run. "Be open on how you feel the only way you and your partner will be able to approach problems calmly and respectfully," says Sullivan.

If you have been with your spouse for some time, it's easy to meet you more like friends than romantic partners. If you want to make your wedding much more exciting, tryflirt With your spouse as you did when you dating.

"The spark ends sometimes after the honeymoon phase," says Sullivan. "It's important to give priority in search of fun and original ways to keep this spark alive in order to have a successful marriage." Try to be more affectionate, telling your partner how much they look good, or surprising them with a romantic gesture, you will be amazed how much a seeminglysmall demonstration of affection can go.

It may seem shallow, but a little bitflattery can help maintain a happy marriage. After all, who does not want to feel wanted?

"When you started going out with the first time, the compliments were probably numerous," says Sullivan. "Although it can be natural to get used to spending time with your spouse and seeing them looking at their best, it's important to remind them of how you feel - even if it seems repetitive. Once You stop, your partner will feel less appreciated. Even although nothing could have changed for you, your lack of attention and your appreciation will make them want to stop being affectionate. This can lead to bad cycle of behaviours. "

Even if your relationship is going well, assuming quefensifs orexposed postures angry Around your spouse, I like to take your arms or get their hands on your hips, can quickly result in a breakdown of communication.

"Inviting practicebody language, "said Sullivan." Listen to them or talk about your mind with arms crossed could send the message you hide something or you have your guard. This can make your partner feel as if you do not connect. "

Early in your relationship, you and your spouse went to a new restaurant every week, tried againHoliday destinations Every year, and usually fresh and exciting things. However, after a certain time together, these impulses to explore can fade. Inject a small spontaneity into your relationship again and you will both be happy.

"Life can be repetitive. It's always. But possibly, your relationship will tire you if you do not make an effort to try new things," says Sullivan. "If a partner is not receptive to try something different As a class or exploring a new location, it can discourage the partners to live the joys who married life. "

Although it is difficult to avoid the temptation to look atyour phoneOr go ahead on the job when you are supposed to spend quality time with your partner, put it down your devices, you can enforce it and listen to enjoy your long-term relationship.

"When your spouse tries to communicate anything with you, make sure you do not be multitasking," says Sullivan. "Looking at your phone orto do the laundry Simultaneously can send signals to your partner that you do not really care about what they have to say. If this continues, you could be on a track for a split. "

If you have more than 40 years, it's been a long time since your parents sitting for you to tell you whyhonesty is so important. But the message remains true - especially in your wedding.

"It may seem obvious, but once your spouse catches you in a lie, so big or small, trust will be a party," says Sullivan. "Make sure to be honest at all costs. Lies that build lead to mistrust, anger and sometimesinfidelity. "

A littleseduction Can go very far when it comes to keeping your exciting wedding. "Watch sexy films and TV shows. Listen to sexy music. Watch sexy books on art and photography," suggests a psychotherapistChristine Scott-Hudson, MA, MFT, ATR. "Taydream, fantasize and imagine scenarios that make you feel good."

While you could find yourselfjealous Of the seemingly perfect marriage of someone else, the comparison of your relationship will make you miserable. Even if your relationship has experienced better days, there is always hope. "The good news is that you can get it turned on if you stop comparing your family and your relationship, imagining that everyone has so much better than you do," says the counselor and the coach of lifeDavid Essel.

As long as you do not compare, spendTime with other couples Can really make you happier and more stuck like a pair. According to a 2014 study published in the newspaperPersonal relationship, engaging in activities with other couples can help loosen an almost unatheated flame. "The creation of friendship couple can constitute an additional way to renote feelings of passionate love in romantic relationships," noted the authors of the study.

Do you want to be a better woman? Engage yourself todo something with your partner every week. "It could go to one of these" paintings with wine classes "or could be a sporting event once a week," says Essel. "It could be bowling once a week. It could take dance classes once a week. But there must be a type of involvement to your two parties as a couple."

Everything in completely neglectdefaults In your relationship is not healthy, hang on these small troubles with your partner and let them Fester will damage only your relationship.

"You have to give up the resentment that you have against your partner [if] [if] who may have taken place 30 years ago or three months ago," said Essel, who recommends reaching out a professional to get Help If you can "traise this task alone." It can take several weeks or even months to let these resentments go, but it's the only way your wedding has a chance to be returned in something healthy and fill once again. "

Note what you enjoy and do you like your spouse can help you be a better wife, especially after 40 years. As you only take five minutes a day to write one or two or five features on your partner who are positive, a shift begins to happen in the relationship, "says Essel.

Once you have identified some of your partner's features that you are grateful, put them out of some romantic reminders in the way and why they make you happy. "We often forget these small, affirming that Nexéties as an age of the relationship," says the clinical psychologistCarla Marie Manly. "No matter the age of a marriage, it is essential that the two partners feel loved, seen and appreciated."

Even though the physical component of your relationship changes as you get older, there is no reason that you can not show your spouse in other way. "Chances are, you and your darling loved touching andhold handswhen you dated. It's always a good idea to keep touching going in a relationship, "says Manly." If you have left your tactile habits go to the edge of the direction, revive your connection by touching frequently and with love ".

That you organize a weeklyGame Or join a sports league together, playing with your spouse can make your relationship much more fun and romantic - in no time. "You will keep your brain and your wedding more healthy by engaging in a lot of game," suggests virile. "Research proves that the game and the new activities maintain the body and the spirit younger."

You do not need a full relookover for Wow your partner, but exhaust things with arefreshed look From time to time, can make a major difference in the satisfaction of your relationship.

"[If you do not feel good about yourself, it will affect all aspects of your life, including your relationship," says the therapist and advisor in relation to the relationshipMiro gudelsky. "It may seem to old, but it's amazing what to do with your hair or nails can do to your self-esteem. And it's a massive component in a wedding."

Keep the night date alive now and you will not find your relationship in trouble a few years on the line. "It's not because you've been married for a few decades does not mean that romance should be part. How about a good dinner, a concert or a picnic together?" suggests Gudelsky. "Something outside the house where you have to make an effort to look good for the other."

While with common interests can certainly facilitate the conjugal liaison, having certain activities that your partner does not participate with you can actually increase your pleasure from your relationship.

"Make sure you do things about yourself that feed your soul. If you do not feel happy and satisfied, it also goes in your wedding," says Gudelsky. Have some activities you participate in Solo or with Other friends you can get home to tell your spouse for your spouse to also add another layer of binding to your relationship.

Even if you have been with your spouse for some time, your preferences in the bedroom are prone to change and it is important that you do these new known needs when they occur. "Get more comfortable asking [your] sex needs and want to be completed," says Gudelsky. So, if you want to keep your wedding fresh over 40 years old, do not keep these desires evolving from you!

Do not let your curiosity on your partner fade simply because you have spent years or even decades together. "When we start going out with someone, we ask for a bunch ofquestions to get to know this person, but the longer we are longer, the fewer questions we ask, "said authorized marriage and family therapists and the relationship coachConsult of Lauren.

"People are dynamic and evolve and think that you know that your partner's answer makes me a little service and your relationship," she says. "You can always learn something new on your partner, even if it's just a change in their perspective."

If your relationship has hit a rough patch, try to remind you of moments when you and your spouse are happy to recover things on the right track. "Talking about good memories of your relationships Renew the positive feelings you have had during these experiences and allows you to connect to a shared experience," says Consul.

It's easy to start taking your partner for granted when you've been together for years, but this wedding would do much better to express theAcknowledgement You feel towards them. "Even if your partner takes the trash every night, be sure to express how much you are grateful for (and why) from time to time," says Consul. "It's good to know that your partner always notices the little things you do for them."

When it comes to keeping your relationship healthy, the hierarchykindness More being just can make all the difference. "The key to each argument does not win it and the fight against your victory to your partner," saysChris full, dating and founder expert ofDataingScout.com.

"The arguments can be your way of getting to know your partner more and more and more and more close," he says. "Let them win when the situation calls it. You do not know, but they could also extend the same courtesy."

Although you can find yourself solving some of the conversations you have with your spouse, making the effort to listen to them, can help strengthen the friendship link that keeps your relationship strong. "Practice the art of listening and you will be amazed unlike the simple act ... can bring to your wedding," says Full.

You do not need to have a huge amount of disposable income or make sumptuous gestures to surprise your partner with your generosity. "Generosity can be shown in small things like asking what they want, and in larger things such as compromising your relationship. Be generous, however, is different to spoil them," says full.

Instead, you could clean your wife's dishes without having a lot of influence when they forget, fill the tank from their car with gas when you notice that it is empty, or set their work bag through the door entry if you have noticed them, forgetting in the past.

Everyone does not communicate the same thing in a relationship and peopleLanguages ​​of love can evolve with time. Even if you have been with your partner for years, make a checkpoint and see if your partner's love language has changed.

"People have different love languages ​​and know what your partner can give you an advantage when things go wrong," says full. "It's easier to troubleshoot and spend difficult times when you know the perfect thing to do to make them feel better."

Even if your budget is small, give your partner "just because"gifts can make them feel wanted and appreciated. "Keep fresh things by surprising your partner with messages, gifts and gestures with no other reason than because you want," suggests a clinical psychologistDr. Carissa Coulston, author ofEternity has increasedRelationship blog. "If you hear a song and that it reminds you of your partner, let them know. You could also get up early on weekends and bring their breakfast to the bed - just little things here and there that show a appreciation."

It's easy to move in all things that go wrong in your relationship. But if you want to be a better wife, try to focus on what's going well between you and your spouse.

Suzie Pileggi Pawelski, Mappine, andJames O. Pawelski, Ph.D., the co-authors of the wife and the wife ofHappy together: use the science of positive psychology to build love that lastsNote that the development on the positive is linked to greater personal well-being, as well as a greater satisfaction of relationships.

Think that the mystery has gone after spending decades with your spouse? Still think. Sharing secrets with your partner can go a long way to refresh your relationship when you have more than 40 years. It could be a child brief, a changing experience of life or a living dream. The important thing is that they share authentically with another something significant, "According to the Pawelskis." It is imperative that couples are curious, open and welcoming secrets and non-judicial. "

There are few things that can connect a long-standing torque like tackling a project together. Take your head to suggest a new business with your spouse, that it can start a business, finishing your subsoil or justrepaint your room. Having something you can do together and a finished product, you can admire will bring you closer to get closer and give you a sense of mutual fulfillment.

Although it is easy to interpret your partner's behavior towards you as negative, they answer with answers of a word or do not exclude you as quickly as they usually do, if you want to be a better partner, you will want to ask before jumping to the conclusions. "I'm looking for accuracy among people, their behavior and reactions rather than patronage," says the clinical psychologistJan Harrell, Ph.D., Author ofLove now!: Unraveling relationships.

Instead of assuming that, in your relationship changes and challenges are not necessarily problematic, try to accept them as part of your learning process as a couple. "When we get married, we choose a learning partner with whom to share this trip," says Harrell. "We need to deal with the development tasks that will be an endless part of our existence. »

If you are in mood, do not be afraid of the subject. Even if you and your spouse have no intimate some time, sex could improve your relationship. In fact, according to a 2017 research study published in the journalPSYCHOLOGICAL SCIENCE, "The post-discharge effect" of the sex lasts up to two days, which makes couples happier and more satisfied.

Even though retirement still seems far, getting on the same page of yourpension plan Now make your relationship stronger in the long run. A 2017 surveyMagnify revealed that 21 percent of divorced people surveyed said that finances were a factor contributing to the disappearance of their relationship. This means that there is no time as the present to make sure you and your spouse see eye on the way you are going to spend your money retired.

You want to make your partner to feel more wanted, respected and heard? Try to adopt a similar tone of voice to them or to adopt a similar position. A 2010 review of research published in theBritish Journal of Psychology reveals that subtle mimicry can really make people feel more empathic and linked to those who make mimicry.

If you think your excuses of text messages are cut, think again. A 2013 study published in theJournal of couple therapy and relationships reveals that the two fights and constituting the text are associated with the satisfaction of the diminished relationship. So whenever possible, try to have your big discussions of the relationship (same arguments) and the following apologies in person.

An easy way to be a better wife? Remember your partner that you are there for the long term, even if things are difficult today. According to a 2013 survey published in the journalCouple and Psychology Family, alack of commitment was the most frequently cited reason for a couple's divorce.

The key to being a good partner is not an archaic notion of what it means to be a woman, he is the treatment of your relationship with the same respect and the care you treat your friendships with. According to a 2019 study published in theJournal of studies of happiness, Couples who consulted their partner as their best friend are not just happier in their relationships, but more satisfied by their lives as a whole. And if you want your wedding the distance, make sure you know the50 Best Wedding Tips All Times.

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