Good Lifestyle

Have you ever been told to stop excuse me so much? Although it can feel like a pecly friend fun at yournervous habitThey could actually try to help you break a bad cycle. After all, psychologistJustine A. Grosso said that over-excuse is a "interpersonal template with roots with low self-respect, perfectionism and fear of disconnection". If you are afraid that you say "I'm sorry" more often than you should be, see if you come into line with one of these saved expert signs that you apologize too much.

The biggest red flag that you may be a chronic over-excusing is that you apologize for things you have or had no control, saidBrent sweetzer, CLP, a Georgian advisor. Did you say "I'm sorry" a colleague because it was raining outside, and they were wet? Apologize for someone for a mistakethey or they made? These are clear signs that you have overloaded the use of "I'm sorry," says Sweitzer. Rather than excuse us for things you have not contributed and you can not change, try expressing sympathy for the frustration or distress of the other person.

Excusing excuses can be the result of us by projecting someone else's responsibilities on ourselves, as if we feel the need to apologize, they should prove themselves.

"In essence, we often learn habits to apologize. Women, in particular, are generally raised to be responsible and attentive from others and, sometimes too liable with respect to excuses," saysCarla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist in California. "This leads some people to tend to apologize for the actions of others, be it the mistakes of a partner or boss."

There are parts of life that are normal things that people are going through every day. For example, sneezing into a quiet office or need to squeeze by a person sitting for you to get to the bathroom. There is no need to say "I'm sorry" in these situations, but many people are always doing it.

Lynell Ross, Certified well-being coach and founder ofZivadreamI recommend thinking about how you can rephrase what you are trying to communicate before talking. So, instead of exceeding someone with another excuse, tell something more in the sense of "excuse me".

Have you ever found yourself saying "I'm sorry" after having accidentally hit a chair, even if the chair is an inanimate object? AsAndrea Brandt, PhD, written forPsychology todayIt is mainly a feminine habit of "reflex" by excusing because women are packaged too excuse. And research safeguards a gender disparity: a 2010 study published inPsychological science I have shown that women tend to apologize more than men because they believe that their offenses are more serious, even if it accidentally deposits a phone on the floor.

There is no trouble saying sorry when it's time and place for that, saysTina Ticina, Doctorate, psychotherapist and author ofThe Dr. Romance Guide to Find Love Today. But she says that if you find yourself apologizing every day, and you are not even sureWhyIt's a clear indicator that we apologize has become a habit for you, rather than something you do when it's necessary. To combat this, Ticina recommends "to slow you down and check why you want to apologize and that it is justified."

If you really feel the need to excuse you, go ahead. However, the problem comes when you start excuse me for things you do not really think wrong, saysDavid Bennett, Certified Advisor and Co-FounderThe popular man. For example, if you say "I'm sorry" to believe something else in disagreement, you really do not want to apologize. Bennett says he leads his clients to be intentional with their apologies, which means not to say sorry simply because a situation is troublesome or there is a conflict.

When you need a favor for a friend or give colleague instruction for a mission, it is not necessary to complete it with a "I'm sorry".Courtney Crisp, Ma, a therapist in California, says asking that something does not require any excuses.

"I think one of the main main reasons for people to apologize a lot, it's a fear of taking place and annoying others," says Crisp. "It can have a lot of causes, but I think a lot of times grow, we can get the message that our presence is undesirable and these lessons can really be internalized and stay with us." She recommends replacing "I'm sorry" with "Thank you".

You should actively listen to yourself when you apologize, saysSherianna Boyle, author ofEmotional detox for anxiety. If you are repeating an excuse, it can be a sign that over-excuse is a habit for you, rather than something you do with intention.

"The next time you are excusal, consider pausing you by pulling your navel to your spine, as if you put a tight belt. This is your brake pedal, "she says. "Once your navel is all the way release it, so your abdomen gaff and you get a great great inspiration. Notice if the excuses are less likely to roll your language. Allow yourself thirty seconds to sit with L 'discomfort so you can give yourself a chance to feel what's going on. "

Several times, chronic over-excuses will meet againApologize in the workplace For things that do not require excuses. And this constant should apologize can make employees less confident and less prepared for work - regardless of the career area. In fact, during aVariety Maintenance in 2015, actressAmy Schumer revealed that one of the best lessons she learned was "not to apologize before putting my two cents. I noticed that I started my sentences with" sorry "and I cut it and I 'have given the feeling of feeling very empowered. "

If you are usually uncertain of yourself orlack of confidenceYou can also be subject to excuse you more than necessary. PsychotherapistKaren Koening often says that she notices that someone excuses me too much if they are walking feeling, they hurt most of the time. " The act of over-excuse facilitates the task because it allows them to remain "to hold in feelings of guilt and deficiency", even if they are not bad.

If you feel worried when you say sorry, you may have developed the habit of excusing too much as a way to cope, says Boyle.

"Appearing too much can be a sign of anxiety," she says. "In other words, this can be the way you manage emotions of fear, nervousness and anxiety. Rather than feeling these emotions instead, you have them by excusing them." Boyle recommends receiving help with your anxiety to help you interrupt constant excuses.

Some people fear being considered aggressive when they want to be affirmed, so they use excuses instead. As old therapistGini Beqiri to crushVirtual speechWhen claimed, "the goal is to say" no "without feeling that you have to apologize." The affirmative affirmation and apologizing are not interchangeable, but those who often excuses often find themselves exchange a "no" "for a" I'm sorry, but ... "

Unfortunately, excuse you too can quickly become a case of "the boy who cried the wolf". If your apologies are only the result of the habit and not sincerity, you may notice that the people around you become bored or excuses.

"When you're lying several times by someone, you're thinking about believing what this person says. They lose face. In constant saying" I'm sorry "can have the same effect", coach in the workplaceWild melody written on his website. "All unjustified excuses fail not only to your speech and harm the clarity of your message, but also dilute the power of the sentence at a point where it can be unleashed as unpleasant."

Although it may seem like your friends and family give you evil, if you are often told to "stop excuse me so much", there is a good chance that you are guilty of that, saysLauren Cook, MMFT, a therapist in California.

"The biggest indicator thatyou excuse too much is that people gotell you So, "she says." Yesyou Get comments thatyou to apologize unnecessarily, it is the largest index thatyou can be too sorry. Yesyou to be fearedyou take too much space, thatyou are frequently disadvantages of others, or ruminate after the fact thatyou disturbing someone, these can also be signs thatyou "Requests unnecessarily looking for forgiveness."

When you always apologize, especially for things that do not guarantee excuses, you can think that a "I'm sorry" is not enough when you Actually need to apologize. You spent a lot of time saying for tiny things that when situations are climbed, you can feel that your answer should also be strengthened, even if the excuses are sufficient. Cook says you should practice not to give your desire to always excuse you and "trust what others will give you comments when they expect excuses."