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Auditioning forPandangan is no easy feat—just ask Garcelle Beauvais. In her new book, Love Me As I Am, the actor and reality TV star talks about her experience trying out for Pandangan in 2015, explaining why the test week didn't go as she had expected. Beauvais writes that she was surprised in particular about behavior she says she saw from longtime Melihat tuan rumahWhoopi Goldberg, calling it "cringeworthy."

In addition, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hillsstar writes about what happened when she shared her opinion with the show's panel and why it left her confused about how to proceed. Read on to see what "shocked" Beauvais so much and to find out how she feels about Goldberg now.

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Beauvais co-hosted Pandangan for a week in 2015 as her audition to be a full-time panelist. But, she was disappointed with how the audition went.

"Here I was the eager new kid in class and I ran smack dab into the reality of an uninviting workplace," she shares in her book (melaluiPage Six). "There was a brief nonchalant recognition that I was the co-host up to bat that week. No greetings or welcoming niceties, just a hey and they continued on with the [top-of-the-morning] meeting [with producers]. Oke."

At the time, the permanent hosts were Goldberg, Rosie Perez, danNicolle Wallace. Rosie O'Donnell had recently left the show.

Beauvais continues, "The energy was cold, unfriendly and standoffish. The atmosphere was so opposite to my friendly nature and definitely not what I had expected or hoped for."

Beauvais writes about Goldberg in particular and says she was "disappointed" with the actor and TV personality.ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb

"I was shocked and appalled to see how testy Whoopi was with the show's producers," Beauvais says in the book. "I was embarrassed and disappointed, to say the least. It was cringeworthy!"

Best Life reached out to a rep for Goldberg for comment but has not received a response.

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Beauvais writes that it was hard to find a balance between sharing her opinion and having the other hosts contradict her or just "piggybacking" off what they said, because "that didn't work either." At one point, the Jamie Foxx Show star writes that Perez kicked her leg under the table. "It was a shut-the-[expletive]-up-[expletive], you're-talking-too-much signal kick!"

Beauvais says that after the show, Perez told her, "'Girl, you know, I just wanted you to know that you needed to be quiet. I thought you were gonna go on too long. You know, we have a system here and we know when the other one is about to talk. So I just wanted to stop you from talking too much.'" Beauvais thought, "What kind of system is that where grown women kick each other like [expletive] mules?"

A rep for Perez had no comment.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, given what she experienced during the audition, Beauvais didn't end up becoming a permanent fixture on Pandangan. Not long after her tryout, Raven-Symoné joined the panel. In her book, Beauvais writes that the job was "not for [her]."

More recently, she did join a similar show, however. Beauvais was a permanent co-host of Yang asli from September 2020 until its cancelation in April 2022.

Beauvais and Goldberg's relationship has changed since the actor's Pandangan audition. The two worked together on a Lifetime movie that came out earlier this year, called Caught in His Web. Beauvais starred, while Goldberg executive produced.

"I got reintroduced to Whoopi, and I think sometimes you don't get a second chance like that. Sometimes you have to be open for a reintroduction," Beauvais told Page Six on Tuesday, May 3. She also shared that she let Goldberg know about the story in the book before it was published.

"Of course I addressed it with Whoopi," she said. "She didn't remember. But I told her because I didn't want to go into the film like I was bamboozling her. That's not my thing. So it was important that she knew that was in my book. We're all good now."

READ THIS NEXT: Joy Behar Says This One Thing Has Kept Her From Getting Fired From Pandangan.