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It is one thing to want to be in a love and A healthy relationship . But when you think of romance in terms of fairy tales and finding your only love, you risk something else: to be a romantic without hope. This idealized vision of love can seem Harmless, but experts say it can actually cause significant problems. Do you not know if you fall into the romantic category without hope or not? Read the rest to find out more about what it really means to be a hopeless romantic and the eight signs that could indicate that you are one.

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The term "romantic without hope" describes "a person who has sentimental and idealistic opinions on love, in particular despite experience, evidence or exhortations otherwise", " According to dictionary.com .

The iterations of this sentence date back until 1855 and in the novel Lady Willoughby by Marie Price the Touche , in which a mother tries to convince her son not to continue a "hopeless romantic attachment". But the first written appearance of this specific sentence is Georgian stories , a collection of news from 1926 where the character named George is described "as a romantic without hope".

"Desperate romantics often have an idealized vision of love and relationships. They believe in fairytale, soul mate and perfect partner", " Kayden Roberts , relationship coach working with Dating application Camgo, tells Better life . "This belief is frequently reflected in their conversations and their expectations of their relationships."

You can have an optimistic vision of romance without being a romantic without hope. In fact, a more recently invented sentence describes the opposite of a romantic without hope: a optimistic romantic.

The meaning of this romantic label was explained in a 2022 File Reddit . "Romantics full of hope are people who always believe in love and original Hallmark cards but always have practical expectations," notes the post. "They are optimistic about the idea of ​​falling in love with someone or making an appointment, but will not be blinded by the possibilities that the date where romantic holidays can go wrong." AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

So what are the signs you fall into the desperate romantic category and not in romantic hope?

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The desperate romantics want to fall in love, and it doesn't matter who with it. Because of this, you often see these individuals "invest too much in the people with whom they go out too early," said Nicole Moore ,, expert expert And Love Coach at Love Works.

"The desperate romantics often project their romantic fantasies on the others very early in the dating process and often do it without correctly checking their person of interest to see if they are a real match," she explains.

It also does not allow desperate romantics to "go out" either. Instead, they often fall directly into exclusivity and labels when they find a person of interest.

"People who are desperate romantics find it difficult to rush into relationships without learning to know their partner at a deeper level", " Jenny Flora Wells , Msw, holistic psychotherapist And an approved social worker, explains. "This is due to the impression that the opportunity will disappear if we do not act at the moment."

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If you are someone who is known to jump from one relationship to another, you are probably a romantic hopeless.

"These individuals generally continue the rush of endorphins and hormones" feel good "which come from the" honey moon "phase at the start of the relationship," explains Wells. "Once it ends, desperate romantics tend to move to another romantic partner, unconsciously pursuing this feeling."

In fact, most desperate romantics will leave a relationship before having a chance to be "real", Nancy Landrum , MY, Related coach At the Millionaire Marriage Club, adds.

"The desperate romantic is not interested in the real work of building a lasting relationship. They tend to be disappointed whenever the partner wants to speak of a real concern, or to resolve feelings or doubts injured "Explains Landrum.

Believing in the idea of ​​love at first glance is also a common factor among hopeless romantics. "They often fantasize to meet their person and instantly know that they are them," explains Moore.

So, if you find yourself repeating the sentence "When you know, you know", you can be a romantic without hope, according to Moore.

"These people tend to idealize the idea of ​​meeting someone in the real world because they want their first meeting with their romantic partner to be just like the" Met Cute "in the films", she adds .

Romance is one of the most important aspects of a relationship for the romantic without hope. "They often fantasize the reception of great romantic gestures", " marriage and family therapist Rachel Goldberg , LMFT, says. "They can even use the romantic gestures of the other person as a confirmation that they have found their match."

The desperate romantics also emphasize traditionally romantic acts which may seem shot to some, according to Sofie Roos , A couple therapist With more than 18 years of experience. This may include "give red roses on the first appointment, a dinner in a comfortable tavern with candles, slow walks and a long conversation, make love for hours and holidays in beautiful and romantic places" , she notes.

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The desperate romantics do not only want to be at the reception of these gestures. "They also tend to be very expressive about their own emotions," said Roberts.

Consequently, "they could write love letters, plan elaborate dates and constantly express their feelings of love and admiration," she notes. "This high level of emotional expressiveness indicates their deep desire for a romantic connection."

If you find yourself excessively to take your partner with affection or gifts, you can vacillate in the obsession - which is also a common trait among the romantics without hope, according to Steffo Shambo ,, expert expert and founder of Tantric Academy.

"Desperate romantics can present obsessive behavior," says Shambo, noting that these trends can also include "constantly think of their partner or become too possessive and jealous about them".

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The desperate romantics generally do not manage to visualize their lives beyond the search for the perfect partner. Instead, they imagine their end of film in the shape of a film like an end, an end, and nothing in their lives is more important than that.

"These individuals often favor romantic love above all, sometimes to the detriment of other essential aspects of their lives, such as their career, their friendships or their personal growth," explains Shambo.

There are positive points to be a romantic without hope - one of the greatest being that these individuals "often have a very resilient heart which is ready to open and fall in love", according to Moore.

"If you always find yourself to wish and hope that you can find true love, even if you have experienced your fair share of bad ruptures, you can be a romantic without hope and that the endless optimism to find true love can actually be one of your biggest assets, "she explains.

"In the end, it is better to hope that true love is at the corner of the street than to resign and bitter," adds Moore. "So, in this sense, being a romantic without hope is not such a bad thing because it means that you are more open to find love than most."

Goldberg agrees, noting that "having a romantic attitude without hope can be refreshing and sweet" in a relationship. "When it is adopted in a healthy way, it can offer a relationship a prospect of half full during the bumps on the road," she said. "A desperate romantic can also be good for repairing things when relationships are facing obstacles or when they have done something hurtful."

Of course, on the other hand, there are also a lot of negatives to be a desperate romantic. "One of the main problems is the tendency to set unrealistic expectations," said Roberts. "This can lead to disappointment when reality does not align with their idealized vision of love. They could feel disappointed when their partner does not meet these high standards."

Not only that, but the hopeless romantics "often ignore red flags in a relationship because they are so focused on the potential of love", according to Roberts. "This can lead to unhealthy or unsatisfactory relationships longer than they should," she warns.