Good Lifestyle

It is not a secret for anyone to make friends and the maintenance of these relationships becomes difficult as we age. After all, how many times have you sent a text to friends to go out only to get a multitude of slow responses on responsibilities such as work, children or the meeting night? So if you are wondering how to make friends as an adult, you are not alone. Many adults are more lonely than they would like - But it is not impossible to change things. Continue to read to learn the best advice from therapists to forge new friendships in adulthood and the qualities necessary to maintain significant ties.

In relation: 6 signs that you lose a friend, the therapists say .

Why is it so difficult to make new friends in adulthood?

There are several reasons why finding a good friend becomes harder with age. Tami Zak , a therapist approved at Develop therapy , said that many of us assume that friendships will be put in place as they have done in primary school and college.

"We want friendships to be easy and carefree as they were at the time, but life can make changes, and people change too," she said. "This is where effort and intentionality make the difference, especially when the occupation of life comes into play - part, family, children, work, tasks and shopping."

In many cases, we are also more and more kept at this age. "Parts of protection can become more vigilant in adulthood, having accumulated experiences of rejection or betrayal", explains Becca Reed , LCSW, PMH-C, Perinatal, mental health and trauma . "These pieces work to avoid a potential injury, resulting in withdrawal or reluctance to engage in new social situations."

When you are both on the end of the donations and the reception of this stick, the chances of starting something new decrease.

Of course, personality features such as introversion and anxiety can also have an impact on our ability to meet potential friends - after all, it is difficult to build a social life when you prefer to spend home. However, Vikas Keshri , clinical director and founder at Clinical flowering care , says that one of the biggest obstacles to adult friendships is great life changes such as moving, departure or entry into a long -term relationship, starting a family or stress at work and 'burnout.

"When adults, or anyone, undergo significant lifestyle changes, this can lead to fears of rejection, a drop in self-esteem and a lack of confidence in the so-called" new "way of life" " , explains Keshri. "When we are looking for friendships, we often seek people who accept us for whom we are and those in whom we can trust, but this is very difficult to assess when you have undergone an important change in your life."

Instead, you can end up isolating yourself, which is the opposite of what you really need.

In relation: 200+ get to know your questions that really work .

Why are adult friendships important?

In other words, having good friends makes your life more pleasant. "People are social by nature, and we are at our best when we are connected with friends and a community," said Zak. "The training of deep friendships is absolutely vital to feel a greater sense of objective, of the satisfaction of life and well-being."

Friendships are also necessary for good health. "A AARP study 2018 have found that one in three American adults is lonely and studies confirm that loneliness can be dangerous for your health - the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes per day, "adds Zak.

Tools you need to make friends in adulthood

1. Build your self -confidence

This is a key fundamental line for all significant friendships.

"Trust in yourself and positive self-discourse will help an adult to feel less frightened by rejection and allow them to build their social network in person," said Christine M. Valentín ,, LCSW, LLC . "Without that, adults will tend to avoid getting out of their comfort zone and will remain with what they know."

If you feel deficient in this department, a therapist can help you.

2. Don't be afraid of rejection

Remember, it's not personal! "We will not be the new best best best best friend, and we will not like all those we meet, and it must be ok," said Audrey Schoen , Lmft, A therapist in Roseville, California . "When we accept reality that all potential friendships will not work, it's easier when they don't."

When you open up to rejection, you also allow authenticity, which, according to Schoen about that. "

3. Allow yourself to be vulnerable

Many pros to whom we have spoken of said vulnerability are the number one trait to build friendships for adults.

"Being vulnerable means to openly share your own thoughts, feelings and experiences," explains Reed. "It is essential to establish intimate and authentic friendships because it invites confidence and deepens links, allowing friends to really know each other and understand each other."

In addition, when people are vulnerable with you, you will want to validate them without judgment. In this way, they also feel comfortable with you that you learn to be the same with them.

4. Be curious

For this, you will want to practice active listening. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Active listening means focusing fully on what is said rather than simply hearing the speaker's message passively," said Reed. "It is important because it shows that you appreciate the thoughts and feelings of your friends, which can strengthen the link between you, and it also helps to resolve conflicts more effectively."

5. Be reliable

It becomes more and more important as other commitments accumulate in our lives. Confidence lays the foundations for friendship.

"Being reliable means being reliable and consistent in your actions and behaviors," explains Reed. "Reliability strengthens confidence in relationships, because friends know that they can count on you."

6. Identify your passions

When you know what you like, you can find people with whom you can share these things. Discovery new hobbies And interests can also help you identify places to go and clubs to join to meet people sharing the same ideas.

7. Temperate your expectations

Remember that making a new friend can sometimes be uncomfortable, and you may not find someone who wants or can spend every weekend together.

"Making new friends means taking risks, hitting conversations and sometimes things can be embarrassing," said Schoen. "But if you don't take the opportunity, you will miss potential connections."

8. Stay positive

Finally, stay positive - even if you feel like you are doing endless friends.

"A positive attitude can be contagious and makes time spend more pleasant together," explains Reed. "Positivity helps to promote a favorable and edifying environment - and who would not want to have more in their lives?!"

In relation: 7 warnings signs that you have a toxic friendship .

Where to meet friends as an adult

9. Reconnect with old friends

Finding friends as an adult does not always mean starting again - one of the first places you can watch is old friends.

"Deep friendships do not require daily contact - in fact, years can pass," said Zak. "You can change and grow in different directions, but when you speak again, the connection has endured."

See if there are people you can put on in the lap or even knowledge that you can invite time in the hope of changing these friendships.

10. Spend time with colleagues

If you work in the same place, you probably have at least a few things in common, then use it as a starting point.

"I recommend to adults that I work with a step in their comfort zone and to invite a colleague that they think they have at least one similarity to go out," explains Valentín. "Some of my favorite places to go ... have games or hobbies involved, such as bowling alley, billiard rooms or the launch of the ax."

11. Be friendly with your neighbors

Similar to inviting a colleague to spend time, Valentín also recommends chatting with a neighbor with whom you may have things in common. At the very least, your proximity with each other will make a friendship or a practical knowledge.

12. Join a sports league

There are probably many sports leagues and teams already established in your city or city. Look for the one who talks to you the most and try it. These organizations are particularly useful because you will see the same people week after week.

13. Join a club

Make friends through local groups and communities will at least assure you to have something in common with the people you meet.

"Getting involved in activities or groups aligned with personal interests or values can be an ideal place to promote friendships," said Reed. "These contexts naturally bring together [people who] are enthusiastic and curious, facilitating connections based on shared interests."

She suggests joining Meetup or Facebook groups specific to your age, your gender expression or your shared interests.

14. Take a course

You will learn something new and will meet new people!

"Learning environments promote a feeling of camaraderie and provide common ground to launch conversations," said Reed. "They engage the curious and oriented parts towards growth, creating opportunities for connections that have depth."

What better conversation starter is there to bond on your deformed vases in a pottery class?

15. Volunteer

"" Volunteering Connects individuals to similar values and compassion, "explains Reed." These activities have attentive and empathetic parts, which throws a solid base for friendships. ""

Schoen adds that you can also volunteer at your child's school, which can help promote relationships with other parents, which you both have in common.

16. Connect with friends of friends

This can be a powerful starting point. Whenever you plan an activity, "invite a friend you have and encourage them to invite others," explains Valentín.

In relation: 6 Friends of friendship that you should never ignore, say the therapists .

How to keep adult friendships

The training of new relationships as an adult is only useful if you can maintain them - and this requires hard work.

"You must be intentional and take time for friends and, just like a wedding, you have to commit to working for difficult periods," said Zak. "If you are ready to invest time and energy in friendships, the results will change positively."

To do this, check regularly with your friends, even if it is only by the text and plan rallies. Maybe if your schedules allow, launch a group trip.

Putting the effort and being present can greatly contribute to showing your close friends that you care. Of course, when they reach themselves, you will want to do the same when possible.

Conclusion

Getting big friends as an adult can be difficult, but it is not impossible. To give you the best chances, you will want to improve some features - things like positivity, vulnerability and active listening. You will also want to put yourself in environments that promote deep relationships. For more life tips, visit Better life again soon.