Divorce lawyer reveals the greatest reason why today's weddings fail

The good news? This current problem is something you can solve before it is too late.


About 22% The first marriages end in the first five years, according to the centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). There are many different potential reasons for divorce, infidelity or excessive fights for financial problems Or simply separate. However, an expert - Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr. , a New York Divorce lawyer —Sey that he noticed an increasing trend that can sabotage marriages. Continue to read to discover that what he says is the greatest reason why weddings fail.

In relation: 5 signs your marriage is testing divorce, according to the therapists .

1
Women assume too many roles.

Busy mom on the phone, doing work, and with baby
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In a recent video On Tiktok, Vetrano said: "I see mothers who work doing everything. And I see the husbands take a step back and say:" I have nothing to do. ""

According to Vetrano, many women today carry not only most of the parental responsibilities, but they also maintain a full -time job, prepare a dinner every evening, and Take care of household work . "Women are tired," he explains.

Of course, it is impossible to divide everything all the time all the time - but the experts agree that it should balance in a way.

"Part of the reason why people get married is to have someone to associate with difficult times," Bill Gentry , A Divorce lawyer , Owner of Gentry law firm and author of I want to go out , tell Better life . "We all expect our partners to do a little more when we are sick or we are going through a difficult period. However, on a daily basis, it is quite reasonable to balance household responsibilities."

In relation: 50 best wedding advice of all time, according to experts in relation . AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

2
This reflects a greater cultural change.

Active lifestyle of mixed ethnicity career business woman walking to work place office
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"Gender roles in weddings and partnerships are evolving," explains Holly J. Moore , THE Divorce lawyer foundation at Moore Family Law Group. "More and more women are pursuing careers and often becomes the main supporters."

So why have relations become so unbalanced if there has been so much progress in gender equality?

"There is often a default hypothesis that women should manage domestic responsibilities," explains Amy Colton , a financial analyst certified in divorce, mediator of family law and founder of Your divorce was simple . "While the roles of women on the job market have developed, there has not always been any corresponding change in domestic dynamics, which has led to an imbalance where women are overloaded both at work and at home."

In relation: 7 things that divorced people want to have done differently in their marriage .

3
There is a common reason for this imbalance.

happy couple smiling while asking each other questions
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Matheu nunn , A Divorce lawyer In Einhorn Barbarito in New Jersey, says that part of this is rooted in obsolete concepts of what the marriage should look like: some men grew up watching their mothers take care of their fathers, and therefore they romanianize the 'Idea of this kind of dynamic.

"What is happening far too often is that the woman ends up being the main dispenser of care not only for their children but also for her husband," explains Gentry. As he says, these women feel essentially as single mothers.

"If your husband does not help with the grocery store, helps take care of children, to do laundry, to prepare meals - to guess what? You have no partner, you have another child," explains Vetrano In Another Tiktok video .

If you are thinking of marrying someone, Gentry advises to look at the dynamics between your partner and his parents: "If they do everything for him and that he seems helpless, he is probably."

In relation: 5 signs your relationship is directed to a "gray divorce", say the therapists .

4
Changing the dynamics could mean asking - and accepting - helping.

one-third of couples would give up alcohol to never do chores again, survey finds
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Nunn and Moore agree that with other problems in a relationship, communication is essential.

"The wives should feel comfortable to discuss their feelings and their concerns, avoiding the accumulation of resentment by attacking the problems early and constructively," said Moore. "And it is essential that husbands offer help proactively with household chores and childcare rather than assuming that their partners will manage everything."

Colton recommends that husbands regularly check with their women, asking questions like: "How can I support you this week?" Or "What can I remove your plate?" Rather than always put the responsibility for him to ask for help.

Laura Doyle , A Related coach And the successful author, says that she was one of these women - on the level and overwhelmed - and she almost divorced her husband for this problem. However, she finally realized that if she had declared a need or a desire rather than complaining, her husband responded differently.

Everything has changed when Doyle simply said: "I would like a clean cuisine", as opposed to "this kitchen is a disaster!" She shares: "It was over 20 years ago and he has cleaned the kitchen since."

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