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When my children were small, I was drowning in hugs. Sometimes it was like one (or both!) Of them were attached to my body at every moment on the day before the day. In addition, I was married to a person who sometimes wanted to hug me too. From We all slept together In a family bed, the night did not offer a lot of respite from the almost constant touch. It bordered too much for me, a person whose The language of love appears to be touching No matter the quiz I take.

These days, as a divorced single mother of two young adults, hugs are more difficult to find. When I hear Occupied Philipps recently say On his podcast That we need a number of hugs every day to survive, I had to sit down. Like the frog in lukewarm water which ends up being boiled to death, I realized that I regularly do days without being embraced - or even touched at all. How did it happen? Am I, like the frog, a goner if I can't find a way to hugs on everyday life?

A quick search on Google led me to the source: an article of forbes of 2020 (an era when, ironically, many of us abstain from hugs to stay alive) Virginie Satir , "A world -renowned family therapist", saying that humans need Four hugs per day for survival , eight for maintenance and a dozen growth.

I decided to ask around myself and discover for myself how many hugs other people get every day - and what therapists and experts say about this company "Four hugs per day for survival" . Read the rest for the results of my survey.

Read this then: 4 drugs that increase your blood pressure, say the experts .

I started scientifically, by publishing a survey on my Instagram story of course. I asked people how many hugs they get a day, and if they felt like it was enough. The answers went from: "Never counted, but probably a dozen that I see. It seems enough and that doesn't bother me more!" "zero, but I don't give it either. I agree with that. I'm not a hug."

My desire for people who said they had a lot of hugs every day were overshadowed by my perplexity against those who said they did not like hugs or just tolerated them. I contacted experts for an explanation.

"Not all people like hugs or other physical contacts in the same degree", " Veronica Hlivnenko , A Holistic psychologist and advisor To Stimulate , said. "Personal preferences, cultural standards and more can determine it."

Life and well-being coach Carli Dansky , founder of Btrue & Bien , noted that hugs are a vulnerable act, "and reality is that many of us do not like to be vulnerable." She also pointed out that if someone is not used to getting a lot of daily hugs, he may not know what is missing. (I TO DO know!)

By putting aside the number of hugs that someone wants or receives, I insisted, determined to go to the bottom of the possibility of perishing not to be embraced. "It is true that you can feel better simply by receiving the affectionate touch from another," says Faisal Tai , MD, a certified psychiatrist from the Board of Directors and the CEO . While he would not put a number on the number of hugs that we need , He explained what is happening to us when we got rid of (or caressing on the top of our heads, or that we kissed slowly on the forehead - things that I would gladly accept instead of, or in addition to, hugs).

Tai explains that we all have receptors in our skin which send messages directly to the brain. "Think about the last time you had a hug or a tape in your back, or someone put their arm around your shoulders," he said. "You can get a boost from oxytocin, often called" well-being hormone ", of this type of physical affection. This hormone promotes positive feelings and builds and maintains a positive perspective, it is Why she feels so well! "

Research presented in Biological psychiatry explain that It's durable Also. Tai says that the advantages of human touch granted to newborns are measurable even 10 years after birth. So maybe I'm fine, if the hugs last a decade? Hmmm .

Hlivnenko says hugs can strengthen the immune system - which is definitely a factor in our survival. The reason? It is still this wellness hormone, oxytocin. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Oxytocin has properties improving immunities because it removes the release of cortisol and promotes reduced stress levels," she explains. "Stress [is seen by] the body as a toxin, overbuilding the immune system, compromising its defenses against external stressors such as pathogenic bacteria, viruses, and even more, and make the body more likely to fall ill and to take more time to recover. So. , a gentle touch, a friendly hug or an act of care in a stressful situation can directly strengthen the immune responses of the body. ""

Is it a stupid chance, then, that I did not fall sick this year? Or maybe it's All supplements I take every day - it must be that.

Read this then: A new "very contagious" skin infection spreads, warns CDC - How to stay safe .

Carrie Hanson , LMFT, LCAS, clinical director at Cooperriis Healing Community , was also reluctant to give me an exact number of hugs that I should get to survive (and prosper!). However, she highlighted the importance of touch.

"Although there are no specific number of hugs per day we need, physical touch is very important!" she said. "We actually lose the beautiful art to extend a simple hug, hit the back, or hold our hands to show love and affection. There is science behind touch. What we have found, This is because theta waves increase with touch, and this invites relaxation. "

Hanson says that when it is welcome, physical touch transmits reactivity, empathy, kindness and acceptance. "Overall, a message of" you are taken care of "is expressed with touch."

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So, is a single mother therefore without chance of not being lucky regarding the benefits for the health of hugs? Or what about my mother, who is recently widowed? "If you live alone, having the affection of a pet can serve as a good replacement with a human touch," said Beth Gulotta , LMHC, the owner and founder of Therapeutic well-being NYC .

Hlivnenko Concorde: "The embraces go beyond human interaction. It is also shown that the blouse with pets stimulates the release of oxytocin, similar to rolling your hands around your beloved humans." This is good news for my mother and I, because we are cat managers devoted to our sweet feline friends.

And if our cats are not willing to cuddle, Hlivnenko suggests taking matters into hand - literally. "When life is busy, you have a limited social circle, or you feel uncomfortable about tactile contact that is too frequent with other people, self-failed can be a stimulating habit, Creating soothing brain waves. "

However, I wanted a number - and when he was in a hurry, Hlivnenko gave me one. "The best answer is" the most, the better. "A normal day, an average adult may need at least four to five significant hugs or other forms of contact induced by man to maintain emotional comfort and a feeling of belonging," she declared.

Psychologist Shannon Dobbs , co -owner of Foy Wellness and Recovery Center In Agoura Hills, California, has also weighed with a number. "Nothing less than eight hugs per day delivers a vacuum to the system that seems palpable," she told me. “I think we are starting to feel the lack of connection and the loss of direction. In response to the satir quote that "we need 12 hugs per day for growth"- it resonates. When we create the space and the opportunity to connect to the physical sense, it becomes easier, and our energy is starting to attract more in our lives. We are starting to become rich in relation this way. We grow rich in love. ""

Who else needs a hug?

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