The 5 largest regrets that people admit after a breakup, according to the therapists
When you think about your relationship, you might want to do things differently.
Whatever it is to recognize, most people will do so Discover the sorrow Several times throughout their lives. Sometimes a break is like the right decision, but other times we can reflect in return and wish that there were things that we had done differently. After all, the decline is 20/20, and it can be difficult to recognize the errors you make when you are in the moment. To help you avoid missing certain problems, we talked about therapists and other experts in relation to discovering the most common regrets that people have after a break. Read more to discover what people want to have changed when they had the opportunity.
Read this then: 7 things that divorced people want to have done differently in their marriage .
1 Do not approach red flags from the start
When you are at the start of a relationship, you might be tempted to brush certain problems. But you can regret letting some of these things go, especially if they end up being major contributory factors in the implementation of the relationship.
David Tzall , Psyd, a approved psychologist Based in New York, says Better life That after a breakup, people often want them not to solve these problems with their partner from the start.
"Ignoring the problems or red flags in a relationship can make them intensify and become much more difficult to solve," says Tzall. "Some people may regret not having addressed these questions earlier, because they can realize that if they had done, the relationship may have had a better chances of survival."
2 Let them bother
In any relationship, there will be times when you will have to meet your other significant other halfway. But some people are not willing to do so before After They break.
Kerry Lauders , A mental health worker At Startups Anonymous, says that many people often want they have not left their ego annoyed once their relationship is over.
"Some people may regret having allowed their pride or ego to prevent them from apologizing, compromising or expressing a vulnerability, which could have helped the relationship," she said.
Read this then: 7 questions that point out that your partner is about to break up with you, say the therapists .
3 Do not set the limits
The limits are important in any relationship, but some people do not establish them before the lines are crossed. This can lead to major problems and ultimately disappear a relationship, according to Lee Phillips , LCSW, a psychotherapist and Certified couples therapist .
"People can find themselves wrapped in regret because they have not set clear limits on what they needed from the start and throughout the relationship," she said. "Consequently, the person may feel that he has been lost in his former partner and that led to the lack of personal care."
Phillips advises all couples to set personal borders at the start of an intimate relationship and throughout, if necessary.
"Prioritize your own needs and values and define the limits by practicing by saying" no ", suggest Phillips." Ask yourself: "What are my personal objectives and values in a relationship? Do I want to spend more time with My friends and / or family? "Tell your partner in advance. The more you remember your values and your plans, the more likely you are to prioritize them in your routine. ""
4 Do not communicate effectively
Good communication is also essential for any healthy relationship. Nancy Landrum , Ma, author, Relationship coach , and the creator of the Millionaire Marriage Club, says that many customers come to her to reflect on the communication problems they had with partners in their past.
"Several times, I heard this regret:" If my previous partner and I had learned these respectful ways of communicating, we would not have broken "," explains Landrum. "Learning to communicate using respectful language and managing strong emotions such as fear, wound and anger are essential skills for any relationship you want to last."
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5 End the relationship at the wrong time
Although there are many errors that people want them not made in a relationship, the greatest regret is sometimes the way it ended. Lauders says she finds that people often want to have ended their relationship earlier than they did. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
"Some people may regret staying in a relationship longer than they should have and may feel that they have lost time on something that was going to work," she said.
But it can also go in the other direction. People also generally regret "putting an end too quickly by haste in a responsive moment", according to Jennifer Kelman , LCSW, a Therapist with Justanswer .
"This happens when there are a lot of battles in the relationship and that you" raise your hands "and suggest that they are done," she says. "Things may not be reflected and this end Abrupt can leave a feeling alone, regretted and feeling like having made a mistake. "
To avoid this regret, Kelman advises people not to make major decisions in the middle of an emotional moment. "Sometimes taking this deep inspiration and a break can help be still on time not to make any quick choices to end things," she said.
