The way n ° 1 to save your marriage after infidelity, say the therapists

This step is essential to make sure you can heal.


You could face many challenges in your marriage, financial misfortunes and communication errors with different sexual readings and opinions faced on the elevation of children. But undoubtedly the most devastating blow you can feel in a partnership is infidelity. In some cases, such betrayal of confidence could lead toimmediate separation. In others, however, there is a chance to recover the partnership - and sometimes even grow from experience. If you are interested in the latter, note. Here, the therapists tell us the number one way to save your wedding after a partner has lost it.

Read this then:You are 75% more likely to divorce if you have this, the data shows.

How infidelity has an impact on a marriage.

man upset

Infidelity has enormous consequences on a relationship - for the person who cheated and the person who was injured. These consequences can take many forms. "Most often, this can create a feeling of distrust, intimacy problems and communication failures," explainsDenise Fournier, LMHC, CCTP,a therapist to Evergreen Therapy. "The partner who has been injured by infidelity can find it difficult to move on, because they could be prey to thoughts, questions and memories related to infidelity, while the partner who was unfaithful can Remember the frustration of the need to reshuffle conversations or answer questions to which they have already addressed. "

Sometimes it leads to an impasse. "The partner who was betrayed feels unable to go ahead, even if he wants, and the partner who was unfaithful does not feel sure what they can do to improve things, apart from Continue to apologize, "explains Fournier. The next steps you take are essential to determine if you are able to exceed the incident.

After infidelity, ask for professional help.

young black couple in therapy
Shutterstock / Monkey corporate images

The healing of infidelity can be almost impossible to do alone, which is why many of the therapists we have spoken of suggested to seek professional help. An experienced couple therapist can guide each wedding member to ask the right questions and organize their emotions. It starts with the person who cheated. "[They] need to recognize what has led cheating, otherwise fear is that it can happen again," saysDiane Strachowski, aPsychologist and expert in relation known as the back at Love Doc. "What was not working in the relationship, what obtained the way to work on marriage in relation to the exhaust of this other person?"

The victim of the case can also benefit from therapy. "[They] need to have a safe space to also explore the means that marriage does not work," said Strachowski. "There is a technique called leveling, where the therapist shows that the relationship did not work for the two people, so the victim has the impression of having more agency." The two partners can then agree that marriage was not as perfect as they could have thought. They can then speak for what they want to go ahead. With an experienced therapist, they can do so in a fair, controlled and healthy environment.

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Ask the right questions.

Senior adult couple talk at outdoor park in spring or autumn season. They sit on a park bench and discuss their relationship difficulties.
istock

Some of the most difficult parts of therapy will be entered into the notation of the case - and transform this information into something useful. "The not involved partner has a lot of questions in order to give meaning to the violation of confidence," explainsStafanie Kuhn, an approved wedding and family therapist whoSpecializing in infidelity advice. "I help couples to go from investigative issues to questions of meaning."

According to Kuhn, a question of investigation could be something like: how did you meet? How long have you been knowing them? How many times have sex? Where did you have sex? A question of meaning creation would be something like: what did the business mean for you? How was it for you when you got home? Have you thought of me or children? What did you get in the case you didn't have with me?

"This process will help the partner not involved to understand at a deeper level what happened and will help change to see what he could have contributed who allowed his partner to have a liaison," said Kuhn. "In this phase, it is very important to help my client who is the injury to realize that it is not his fault - it is only for the person who was involved and that she / she must assume his responsibility For its action, but where they must grow up as a couple to have a relationship, they are both happy and satisfied. "As you can see on the potentially triggering nature of the questions of investigation and the creation of meaning, it is Preferable to undergo this process with a professional guide.

Remember that things don't always work.

woman taking off wedding ring
Whisper

Sometimes it is not possible to recover a relationship after infidelity. And if this is the case, a couples therapist can help to mitigate the transition of partners to separate partners. "All therapy is not focused on a couple that remains together because some couples should not stay together," explainsFrank Thewes, Lcsw,Therapist and owner forward path therapy. "Therapy can also provide a structure and support during this process."AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

Read this then:If you and your spouse do it together, you are 3.5 times more likely to divorce.


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