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Most people have asexual fantasy Whether they are deeply ashamed of, one that seems so strange that they fear that it is indicative that there is something wrong with them. But asJustin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and the author of sex and psychology of the blogRecently pointed out in a WADA reddit, sexual fantasies are extraordinarily common. And although there is a very wide range of fantasies, there is at least one who is aSuper common kinkAnd yes, you have already heard about it.

"Our fantasies and desires overlap to a certain extent, but they are not one and the same (think of a venar diagram with overlapping circles)," said Lehmiller. "So, just because we fantasies on something does not necessarily mean we want to do it. The fantasies based on desire can result from things like having a very active imagination or being what is called a sensation applicant (Which means you have an increased need for sexual excitement). So some fantasies are just the product of a stray mind or the search for strong sensations and do not really make deeper sense. "

The final result is that fantasize on your ideal sexual situation is completely normal. And as it turns out, your deepest sexual desire may not be different from the rest of the population.

Science behind the most popular sexual fantasy: the trio

"By far, the most popular first fantasy had a trio," said Lehmiller. "Group sex in general was popular, but the trios were the most popular form. Interestingly, while the trios were the most popular fantasy, they were also the fantasy that was least likely to grow well when the people have tried to act. I suspect that this is because most people do not have a script for the way a three or group scenario should go. So, they find themselves in the situation, but do not know Not all to do what to do and it just does not play as in directing them. "

He also added that "gender account counts" and that among heterosexual couples, "women are more interested than men in three households including at least one same-sex partner."

On the other hand, the fantasies that worked well in the real life, according to the results of its investigations, were those who presented couples consensually you deceive - whether going to a sample club, a party sexual or simply observe their partner has sex with someone else. Have sex in a new frame, like, say,a plane, seemed to work well in most cases.

"Fantasies of non-monogamy ... In fact, one of the highest success rates. Fantasies on sexual novelty, like trying a new position or have sex in a new environment, and fantasies of passion / Romance had very high success rates. It is also interesting that non-monogamy tends to work so well when the group sex did not do, but I think it's because the group scenarios are Quite unknown for most people - they do not have a script for the way it is supposed to go. "

One of his most interesting knowledge in the light of today's conversations surrounding the standards of meetings was that he seemed to exist a "growing desire among heterosexuals to free himself from the sex script that dictates that men should be The initiators and women should be the "guardians" when he comes to sex. Heterosexual women have often fantasized to be more dominant than they were actually, while heterosexual men have often fantasized to be more submissive . "

This corroborates with recent research that revealed that women are more interested in men who haveCharacteristics of the "female" face for long-term relations, as well as a recent study that has found that men who aremore willing to take less dominant roles In the bedroom, seem to have a better sex life.

So, if you are looking to give up sexual scripts, it's a fantasy that you can certainly act. Simply make sure you and your partner are on the same page. As Lehmiller says, "trust and communication are really the keys to act of all fantasy safely".

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