20 people share what they learned after a failed relationship
Sometimes it is better to suffer from the break than hold.
The breaks are difficult and sometimes the pain you feel is so great that you feel likeYou could literally die from a broken heart. But once all anguish decreases, you also have the opportunity to hire a deep reflection of self and delete lessons that will allow you to better enter an emotionally healthy relationship with someone who really suits you.
There are tons of reddit son in which people share what they have learned once they had time to consider why things have been bitten and the fact that so many people come to the same conclusion means That there is a real wisdom in these whispers. So read it if you want to learn from their mistakes. And for more personal testimonials from the crazy world of relationships, do not miss this woman of a womanAgonization account of the way she deceived her spouse.
1 "If you are not happy, you are allowed to leave."
If the person makes you miserable for a prolonged period, it can be easy to rationalize it for yourself as a "rough patch". And while each relationship has its ups and downs, if you actively avoid spending time with them, it's better to call it stops.
"It was the exact reason I left my ex"A retriber wrote. "I was happier when we dragged ... it's so bad that I would like to stay longer at work or take the long way to see again to become more time."
2 "Stop listening to your heart and listen rather your head."
If you really like someone, but that you know things do not work, it's natural to try to keep things simply to avoid despair of insufficiency of the soul. Corn,As a reddit user said"Sometimes it's better to suffer from grief instead of draping me."
3 "Do it face to face if you can."
Once you manage to raise the nerve to have dreaded break conversation, "do not be a chicken and do it by text ... nothing says" We are finished and I never want to hear your voice again "as doing the sort sms"A reddit user warns. Remember that the conversation can be painful, the other person deserves an explanation and closure, and they are less likely to hate your guts in the long run if you give them this courtesy.
4 "Separate the person from the relationship."
"My ex and I finished things a little over a month for a number of good reasons, and I know it was certainly the best, but that does not remove the feelings of being missing in the relationship "A reddit user wrote. "Have this level of company and intimacy with another human being is just amazing and it's hard not to miss that."
It's not fun, but sometimes it helps remind you that you are missing from being in the relationship more than you do. Otherwise, you may find yourself together and get stuck in a vicious circle of emotional disorders. There are other fish in the sea!
5 "You can not do anyone love you by loving stronger."
Reddit User Fear_OF_DARKNESS could not have said it better. Some people develop feelings faster than others, and sometimes it is useful to be patient and give the other person the time to catch up. But, at some point, you have to deal with facts and you may be surprised to find how relieved you are to let go instead of being depressed in an unpaid romance that lets you constantly yourself , you feel unceremoniously.
6 "Be vulnerable."
If you had your heart broken before, it's hard to really open to the next person, and you may put yourself away with someone you really like to avoid the opportunity to hurt you. But, in the long run, it is better to take the risk that losing what could have been a good thing because you have not had the courage to tell someone how you really feel.
"If you want to have real relationships, be vulnerable,"Reddit user wrote. "Let them have the chance to hurt you and trust what they would not do it. If they hurt you, it's better to know early anyway."
7 "It's really easy to sweep someone in your own little tourbillon."
"It's very easy to sweep someone in your own little tourbillon of activity and sharing and interest, and not to notice that you are the driving force and they are only for the trip," says EDITA userPrisoner-of-paradise about what she took ancient fires. "Everyone worthwhile to show as much interest and to make arrangements and call it and be psychised to do things with you like you with them."
8 "Good communication is everything."
One of the foundations of a solid relationship, says Reddit UserUpsandonmyway, is "good communication". And seeing that every person is different, they also noted that "you must adjust the way you talk about different people ... [you] can not assume something that [what] worked in your last relationship will work in the one -this." And for more useful advice, do not miss the40 old-old relationship tips still apply today.
9 "You can only compromise so much."
People claim that love can conquer everything, but there is in fact some things that do not like - and should not be overcome, like the reddit userNycifix noticed. "If I do not want children, I do not want children," wrote, "and I should not be guilt stumbling or negotiated to have."
10 "A healthy relationship will help your mental state, not exacerbera."
"Even if [my] relationship is over, I learned how partners should respect each other and support each other", noteA reddit user. "A healthy relationship will help your mental state, not exacerbera."
11 "Do not get into a relationship because you feel that you are supposed."
There is nothing wrong with being single. In fact, as a reddit user explains, being single better than getting into a relationship just to avoid being alone, as being with someone when you do not really like "can make the relationship really annoying ". And if you are afraid of being single, you must read the30 reasons why be single in your thirties is the best thing to do.
12 "Let go."
"It's the best thing I've learned from [the] past: let go," saysa man on what he has drawn from his unsuccessful relations. "If someone becomes selfless in you, let it leave. Someone is not emotionally available? Let it go on it. I made the mistake of not letting go for years, [and that] made me miserable. "
13 "Do not talk about someone by dating yourself."
If the person you are in very vocally does not feel the same thing, thenA REDIT user just said to move on. "Ask once,maybe Twice if they seemed to be taken off the first time and now show signs to look differently. But after that, do you go, "he says." They say no for a reason. "Obviously, this person has learned the difficulty when his persistence turned into a long-term relationship between two" incompatible "people.
14 "Trust your intestine."
Worried that you and your partner is not supposed to be? Suspicious that your other significantly deceives you? Trust your gut, said Reddit UserDG155. "If you do not think it will work, finish it as soon as possible [Possible]," he advises. "Otherwise, it will lead to more pain." And if you are afraid that your partner is unfaithful, then familiarize yourself with the30 subtle signs your cheating wife.
15 "Time is important."
No matter how busy you are, you have to take time for your relationship if you want it to work, according toA reddit user. "If you do not consecrate enough time to the relationship, it will stagnate and deteriorate," he writes. "[You] need time to develop as a couple."
16 "Make sure the good prevails over the bad."
Each relationship has its fair share of UPS and down, but fruitful partnerships are defined by an overwhelming amount of professionals in relation to a minimum amount of cons. Like aUser reddit Notes: "No relationship is all good times ... [But] If you spend more unfortunate time than you are happy, it's time to take stock of the relationship."
17 "Pay attention to the way they treat other people in their lives"
"Do not fall for someone who is cold to everyone [but is] to shower in affection and worship." aReddit user wrote. This could make you feel special at first, but it's just a matter of time before you start treating you in the same way they treat everyone, so how they relate to their friends and their families are often a strong indicator of who they really are.
18 "There are worst things that being alone."
"Being alone can suck after a moment, but every day, I'm grateful not to be more in a toxic relationship,"Reddit user wrote. "I see people around me in relationships they hate and I'm so happy not to live their lie."
19 "Do not do them the only source of your happiness"
"If you do it as soon as they leave, you will be crushed",Reddit user wrote. "You need a romantic affection to be happy in the long run [but], you do not need any specific affection of someone. If you know you have value intrinsically and not because you are Validated by someone, it's easier to handle all breaks (not easy, easier). You do not feel worthless because you are rejected. "
20 The timing is all
"My father tells me all the time:The good girl is the bad girl at the wrong time »aReddit user wrote.
Sometimes you are just not in a place where you can really hire or get involved with someone, even if you know they are great. These breaks can really suck, because you do not have the comfort of knowing that you are better without them. But the good news is that if you are honest and call things in a respectful and courteous way, there is always an opportunity to reconnect later. And if you do not believe me,Read these 20 adorable "How we met" stories.
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