Good Lifestyle

There is something magical aboutSee your own children Become parents. But for all the joys that come withBe a grandparentThis transition also brings challenges. Unfortunately for well-intentioned grandparents, simply because you have successfully raised your children who does not necessarily mean you should passWhat you learned about parenthood for them. In fact, what can you feel like wisdom of wisdomMay meet as criticism Or even cruel law to your own children. So, before finding you left the list of guests for the next family gathering, make sure you know - and avoid thingsGrandparents should never say to their own children, according to experts in mental health.

If it has been for some time since you had your own baby, it's easy to forget how these first weeks and these months can be stressful. So even if you do not agree, it is probably better to respect your child's wishes on the sleep training process. "There is a lot of research that support a coherent sleep routine for the health of the baby and the mother, and [parents] should be supported in their efforts to train the sleep and the sleep habits of their baby", has Reported Postpartum Mental Health SpecialistMaddison Meijome, LSWAISC, MSW.

Let's face it: there are tons ofthings that parents used to do It was not really sure or healthy emotionally for their children, then use your own choices as an example of how your children should raise their own children, is probably not as effective as you think. Instead, therapistHeidi McBain, Ma, LMFT, suggests you to "give them support and love while they pass through time."

You might thinkparenthood was more difficult For you only for your own offspring, but this type of comparison will not change how they feel. "Never neglect their problems by claiming that you worse," said an authorized clinical psychologistAimee Daramus, Psyd. "I do not find it too late that their problems reallyare so bad."

Just because you think your child is at Laxe with his own offspring, it does not mean that this is always an appropriate way to approach this topic. "There is so much more information about parenthood that considers important factors such as the development age, attachment and positive discipline that it does not really compare with apples," explains the Licensed Professional Advisor HoustonNatalie Mica, Med, Trolley, CDWF.

As if it were or not, there is no cosmic retribution for the amount of your child who cried like a baby or how casual they were like a teenager. "This is a remark used to insinuate the childhood behavior of the parent and misconduct is somehow revised by the child as a kind of karmic repayment," says Mica. "It's almost as if the grandparent is falling and glad you're hurting your child."

The fact that your grandchildren have access to the technology that did not exist when your children grow up is not a bad thing - and it's certainly not something worth hunting their parents. "Times change, changes in public opinion and what worked a decade ago can not fly with today's generation, especially since today's children do not remember time without smartphones and instant access to information, "explains the psychologistElie Cohen, PhD.

TheThe parent-child dynamics has changed considerablyOver the half-centuries of the past, it does not have much sense to criticize your children for a more relaxed language than their children use. According to Cohen, it is better to "first ask for permission to discuss the differences in parental styles, all in private and to come into curiosity and not judgment."

You can feel as if you gave the world to your children, but that you told them theyneed to be grateful For these sacrifices will only cause long-term problems. "Every time we ask our children to take care of our emotions, we have chosen to give them an anxiety and a mistrust," explains a licensed therapistPink skeetrs. She notes that this can also "raise guilt and insecurity".

It is understandable that you want to confer yourparental wisdomTo your children to move on to their own brood, but telling them that they break your heart if they resist, it's not a way to accomplish it. "If you are looking for praises and validation of your children to be a parent, you may want to seek professional support," says Skeeters.

Of course, you could see your child's friends who lift children apparently perfect during your own Grandkids, but this type of comparison will never give the positive results you want. "Tell your child you would like them to look more like someone else prevents them from feeling invalidated, unsafe and inadequate," says mesh. Instead, it suggests you to "rent them for whom they are".

Although it is difficult to hear that your children express negative emotions about their relationship with you or their own children, tell them how they do it or do not feel devastatingConsequences for their self-esteem. "If they are told quite often, they start thinking that there is something bad or bad with them and they are defective," explains the therapistKaren R. Koenig, MED, LCSW. She suggests that parents tell their offspring "that they recognize how they feel and explore why", as opposed to closing it.

You may not think it was a big deal that you lengthened your grand-celebration an extra cookie or gave them a gift, but it can be a major problem to their parents, so do not tell them to brush it . "Anger is a normal and healthy emotion for children and adults to experience, "says therapistEmily Guarnotta, Psyd, founder ofConscious Mom. "As parents, what we need to remember is that what makes your angry child is a big problem for them and, even if they reacted in our eyes, they always have the right to feel that they're doing it."

Although you are in this way of feeling this way of doing your child, it's unlikely that this idea will be unlikely to help themTrain healthy relationships with other adults-Or their own children - move forward. "Say that it will sow the belief that [their parent] is the only person who will ever love them," explains a rapid transformational therapistBianca Riemer. And this can harm their ability to have healthy relationships with their children and partners.

Criticizing your spouse-or your former in front of your children or grandchildren can have lasting effects on your relationship that is not easy to bounce. On therapistRandi Borroff, MSW, LCSW, ACSW, a clinical supervisor toIn the middleThis sentence "can get them to have feelings of confidence in you", which can also result in parenthood.

This one is particularly problematic when you say it about someone you are no longer with and even more when you compare the parenthood of your child to their own parent. "Absolutely never compare your child to an ex that has a bad behavior or bad character," saysIbinye osibodu-onyali, LMFT, ofZinnia's practice.

The decline is 20/20, but no parent wants to know that all their child misfortunes would be resolved if they listened to their own parents. "It gives off the impression that the parent preaching this has a superiority air," said the Tampa-based relationship therapistMegan Harrison, founder ofCandy couples. "It is both circuadreal and condescending - and will only create new friction rather than learn from the future."

While you may want some things, like changes in your body orRelationship with your spouse, coincided with the birth of your own child, it's never a good idea to say these things aloud - especially in the presence of your grandchildren.

"By making statements that blame a child are extremely scarring and can lead the child to wear a feeling of guilt and shame badly served throughout his life," says a certified professional advisorErica Wiles. In fact, saying that something like this to your own child can do them doing the same thing to your grandson, pursue a cycle that you would be better at break.

Becoming a grandparant can give rise to many difficult feelings about your own parental experience, but that does not mean that it is still appropriate to act as if your children were a mistake in any way. "It will make them feel as if they constituted a burden for the rest of their lives," explains the therapistStefanie Juliano, LPCC. "They will probably feel good enough and will eventually hate [and] this cycle could continue in future generations."

It may be tempting to tell your children that all their child is a direct result of their parenthood, but that will only cause many more problems than it solves. Instead of correcting the problem, everything you do is "put them in place for self-esteem problems," explains Juliano.

While everyone remembers things differently, trying to tell your children that the things they remember their childhood are completely made up can have an extremely damaging effect on your relationship - and your relationship with your grandchildren if You repeat the model. "Do not neglect your child's feelings - especially if they say they are uncomfortable with someone or someone has done or say something," says Juliano.

Food problems can be transmitted from generation, which means what you tell your own children about their eating habits can also go to your grandchildren. "This can lead to manual problems and other disordered problems," says Juliano. "They may never feel good about themselves."