12 tips for couples who have become long quarantined

Couples separated by social distancing can always keep their relationships strong.


COVID-19 [Feminine has changed almost all aspects of our lives, including our life of love. Six weeks ago, you and your partner went to dinner dates and plan a summer vacation; Today, as a separate quarantine, you suddenly find along distance relation, without any idea of ​​what you will see again in person. It's a lot to manage. But there are ways for couples separated by quarantine to stay close, connected and happy - and perhaps even grow. By sex therapistNan wise, PhD, author ofWhy good sex matters, "Do not be in the same physical space and need to create creation on how [you] communicate and connect is a great way to restart your relationship."

Here are some expert tips on how to maintain - or even improve your relationship during your quarantine. And if you put in quarantine with your other, try these9 relationship councils for quarantine couples, according to an expert.

1
Book time to focus every day.

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Book one hour each day to focus on the other, without applications, appliances, housework or roommates to distract you. "We can always learn new things on ourselves and mutually, whatever the duration of the duration, being really aware of listening to what our partner says," says Wise.

It recommends checking on the high points and the low points of each of your days and tell your partner of your body's condition and mind. "In the daily conversation, we listen to make a point, we listen to refute, we listen to influence, we listen to control, whatever," says Sage. "We can seize this opportunity to really start listening to what our partner's experience."

2
Keep the date of the night.

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It may be tempting to stay sweat all day, every day, especially since all your colleagues do it too. But Sage suggestsPlan a night date The way you normally would, including getting you dressed.

"Dress up for your partner and flirt," says Wise.Flirt when you can not be physically togetherShe notes, can create an exciting romantic voltage. And it can also serve as a preliminary to any type oflong distance Sex connection you feel comfortable.

3
Plan your time together.

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It may be tempting to chat or call your partner at any time that you feel alone or bored - after all, everyone has more free time now, right? But try to resist this desire, saysMichael Kaye, Global Communications ManagerOkcupid. According to Kaye, "many people will be more dependent to talk to their partner" that they could not have been in the past because they feel alone and isolated. But just because you are free to speak, it does not mean that your partner is - and if they do not answer your cat, it can feel "really difficult and really frustrating".

Avoid confusion and hurt feelings by touching the base in the morning before starting your day and making a plan to catch up when you both have time.

4
Do virtual activities together.

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At present, you have probably recorded serious hours speaking to your partner.on the video chat. But there is no reason to limit your communications to discuss. Virtuallyactivities you like Together, whether it's a class of exercises, a sketch, cooking the same meal or watching a movie - will help you feel closer and more a part of everyone's life. "Sometimes you do not even have to talk to you," says Kaye. "You can start a video chat and watch a movie or TV show at the same time."

5
Write a daily email.

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Video discussions can be wonderful and intimate, but once finished, they are over and there are no memories that your partner can look back when they miss you. This is one of the main benefits of putting your feelings in writing. "Remember to write your partner an email every morning. Ask all the dreams you have had, or what you work for the day and what is your schedule to look like," says Kaye. "It's just a good way to wake up and start your day. "And for a relatable story, read the story of a person from the new normal:My relationship has become long distance due to coronavirus.

6
Have virtual double dates or hangers of friends.

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You do not need to spend one over-one on one for quality time. "Invite your date to join you and your friends via theHouseparty app, "sexologist and authorJess O 'Reilly, PhD. "Their friends can also join and you will probably see extra sides from each other when you interact with friends."

7
Do not expect your partner to be your complete support system.

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In times of stress, our first instinct is often to run directly to our partner for comfort. But "If your partner is overwhelmed by their own stuff, you should find resources in other places," said the meetings coachMonica Parikh, founder ofLove school. Talking to family and friends when you are stressed, do not just ease the charge of your partner; It can also make you feel more independent. "It's still healthy that both people have a robust network of people they can meet their needs," says Parikh.

8
Do not remember your emotions.

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With so many stressful news every day, you might feel inclined to keep things in light with your partner and not tell them if you feel injured or annoyed. But according to Kaye, trying to stay 100% positive can become his own problem.

"I think all our emotions are super hanging right now, andPeople are more anxious Or sensitive that what they have never been before, "he says. So be honest about everything that bothers you." Do not keep that in bottle because you will finish explode later. "And for the exes who have become a couple again in the middle of the pandemic, read this personal account:How my ex and myself have reconnected and entered together in the quarantine.

9
To be oriented solutions.

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However, this does not mean that you should just complain or unload on your partner. "You can think of a solution for that," says Kaye. If you feel too far from your partner, suggest a solution that would help you feel better, like starting each morning with a phone call. If you are annoyed that your partner always wants to spend the night playing video games, offer a virtual trip to the museum or watching aFree live music performance.

10
Get help outdoors if you need it.

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If quarantine hasintensified relationship problems you already haveOr highlighted new, you do not have to deal with them alone. "I really think it's useful to have a professional that you can deal with, because sometimes emotions are super complicated," says Parikh.

Apps likeDiscussion and better helpReconquer Online offerCouples therapy Sessions and many therapists and coaches of meetings and relationships offer online courses on topics such as better communication.

11
Evaluate the health of your relationship.

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If you have had questions or doubts about your relationship, you may also be a good time to consider them deeper. "Ask yourself:" Does this relationship meet my needs and I want to invest more from my time and energy? Where is my time and the best energy used in another place? "" Suggests Parikh. It recommends taking honest actions and determining whether the relationship makes you happy or satisfy your needs. Otherwise, "it may be time to let go and say," What do you know? We learned a lot about this relationship, but better to let it sit here and not go further. "

12
And you often register with yourself.

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Withoutend of the quarantine In view, your mood and relationship expectations can change a lot every day. According toJanet Bayramyan, LCSW, expert in relation to theLove Discovery Institute, the best way to cope with the shock of all these transitions - and their ramifications on your relationship - is to check with yourself.

"I would recommend to check with yourself a weekly base to assess your own expectations of your relationship and partner," she says.

And once you have checked, let your partner know what you feel and what you need. "While understanding and accommodating, do not lose your communication skills," says Bayramyan. "Indicate your needs. Indicate your fears. Indicate your hopes." And above all, "Remember it's only temporary."


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