20 hilarious things actually told the court
He was directed: these interrogators are at the crossroads.
There is nothing funny to be in a courtroom. Whether you are in the jury or on the Stand or Testing Witness yourself, it's a time bite and nail environment. Which has just made the unexpected moments of the lightness all the more hilarious. Yes, believe it or not, it really happens. There are really exchanges on the stand that succeed laughing and very funny. How do we know that? Because most tests have stenographers recording everything that is said; They write good and bad, and sometimes ridiculous.
Here are 20 things that were declared in a court of law, which are all the more tolerant because it is thelatest Place someone would expect to crack a smile. For more laughs, check these40 relief jokes, you can not prevent you from laughing.
1 Death by autopsy
Lawyer: Do you remember the time you reviewed the body?
Witness: The autopsy started around 20:30.
Lawyer: And Mr. Denton died at the time?
Witness: Otherwise, he was when I finished.
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2 At least he's honest
Lawyer: Now, sir, I'm sure you're an intelligent and honest man
Witness: Thank you. If I were not under oath, I would go back to the compliment.
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3 The Defense calls ... The Barbue lady!
Lawyer: Can you describe the individual?
Witness: It was about the average size and had a beard.
Lawyer: Was it a man or a woman?
Witness: Unless the circus is in town, I go with a man.
4 First way to identify a murder victim: are they dead now?
Lawyer: What happened then?
Witness: He told me he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Lawyer: Did he kill you?
Witness: No.
And for more information on the intersection of the Humor Crime, checkThe 20 most funny celebrity mugshots.
5 Try to make his name right
Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband told you this morning?
Witness: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Lawyer: And why did it you annoyed you?
Witness: My name is Susan!
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6 All the answersmust be oral
LAWYER:Allyour answersmust to be oral, okay? In what school did you have been?
Witness: oral ...
Then do not miss the50 word games so bad they are really hilarious.
7 When the witnesses do not have X-ray vision
Lawyer: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?
Witness: no. He wore a mask.
Lawyer: What was hearing under the mask?
Witness: Er ... his face.
8 Can you do the thing you just said that you could not do?
Lawyer: You do not know what it was, and you did not know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
And for more trivia, learn the40 facts of the 20th century that are totally wrong today.
9 If two people died and one is still alive ... Well, you make the maths
Lawyer: How was your first marriage resiliated?
Witness: by death.
Lawyer: And by the death of which has it been terminated?
Witness: Prevent yourself.
10 Are you drunk right now?
Lawyer: Officer, which led you to believe that the defendant was under the influence?
Witness: Because he was argued, and he could not pronounce his words.
11 A lawyer is burned
Lawyer: The youngest son, the age of 20, how old is it?
Witness: It's 20 years old, just like your IQ.
12 Basic anatomy
Lawyer: Could you see him where you were standing?
Witness: I could see his head.
Lawyer: And where was his head?
Witness: Just above his shoulders.
13 There is a lot of wood, not lumbar, in the woods
Lawyer: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
Witness: No, I said he had been shot in the lumbar region.
14 Why you should never do an autopsy on life
Lawyer: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you played on dead people?
Witness: All. The living have put too much fight.
15 Birthdays have a way of repeating
Lawyer: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July 18th.
Lawyer: In what year?
Witness: Every year.
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16 The most difficult question of the SAT in the world
Lawyer: How far were the vehicles at the moment of the collision?
17 How to perform an autopsy
Lawyer: Doctor, before playing the autopsy, did you choose a pulse?
Witness: no.
Lawyer: Have you checked for blood pressure?
Witness: no.
Lawyer: Have you checked the breath?
Witness: no.
Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient is alive when you start the autopsy?
Witness: no.
Lawyer: How can you be so sure, doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a pot.
18 Math is difficult
Lawyer: How old is your son, the one who lived with you?
Witness: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I do not remember.
Lawyer: How long have he lived with you?
Witness: Forty-five years.
19 The dead tend to know more or less immediately than they died
Lawyer: Now doctor, is it not true that when a person dies in his sleep, he does not know it before the next morning?
Witness: Did you really have a bar exam?
20 When a murder is not a murder
Lawyer: Any suggestion as to what prevented him from being an assassination trial instead of a murder test attempt?
Witness: The victim lived.
And for greater fascinating crime, dare on The 30 unresolved mysteries of America .
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