40 ways your priorities should change after 40
Because it's the best time in your life to press the reset button.
Rarely are there better opportunities in your life to re-evaluate your priorities and eventually make smart decisions, que-changing life the year when you reach the Grand 4-0. It's not just an encouragement speech to go by looking down that often decried number seems less scary. In fact, it boils down to simple science.
According to the search published inPsychology and aging, Respondents who had more than 40 years reported increased confidence, comfort, stability, adaptation mechanisms, analysis, decision and independence capacity compared to others. "In 40, we have a mature level that allows us to look at the world with a certain perspective," explains Erica B. McCurdy, aCertified Life Coach MMC-.
But even with all this most acquired maturity, knowledge and experience, you may need some tips on how to change your priorities. That's why we have compiled this expert sustained by expert to live longer, healthier, and life and more productive to determine your real priorities after 40.
1 You do not let others' opinions determine your path of life
"When you turn 40," said Caleb Backe, an expert on health and wellnessMAPLE HOLISTICS, "You do not worry about what others think of you more. »
It is not turning 40 makes an antisocial person, in itself, but, according to Backe, at this age, you will have "a lot of experience of life and should not be affected by the thoughts of someone from you. So, do not hesitate to listen to the voices you trust, while ignoring the rest. Of all theChanges due to aging brings, This one can be the sweetest, imagine how much better your teens, 20 years old, and 30 years could have been if you had established the priorities that what you have found important, not what others told you to.
2 You stop trying to change what you can not control
Now that you have lived a good amount of life, says Backe, you can "control and renounced knowing that some things will never be the way you want to be. Although this awareness can, at first sight, look soft-bitter, Backe says it actually allows you to "move on to the most important, changing aspects of your life. With the energy you save on you wishing were more attractive, richer or more popular, for example, find time to actually answer those you can solve becomes much easier.
3 You focus on real friendships
At 40, said Backe, "Many friends came and disappeared .... [then] that the truth and best survived. Even if you lament first this tightening of yoursocial circleIt allows you to "focus on your most true friends and give them the love they deserve. As for friendship, quality quantity beats every day after all, few things feel better than let yourself know how important they are.
4 You do a self-care absolute priority
Even if you found yourself struggling to find the time to give priority to your needs when you decades earlier, in your 40s, care becomes an absolute priority. "Take care of yourself is not selfish," said Dr. Yemi, a member of the teacherCollege of Osteopathic University Medicine Rocky Vista.
"Have ordinary courage to choose the first step in the life of a more productive and fulfilling [after 40]," she says. In fact, getting serious about your health and your general well-being is a big step in the right direction to find you in a healthy environment andlord. In fact, the search published in theInternational Journal of Mental Health Systems Suggest self-care as a way to relieve some mental health problems, so do not hesitate to steal a little "time from me" here and there you deserve it.
5 You stop in search of perfection
When you press 40, says Dr. Yemi, you start to meet a world that would be "rather introducing us the standardized version of ourselves ... Not distorted by the realities that are moving our beings. In other words, a world that says Somethings are more valuable than people than age twice. What is the reason why it is essential to have theself-confidence To tell the world that you are very well the way you are, gray hair, wrinkles, and everything. In fact, since researchers fromUniversity of California, Berkeley Found people over 40 T0 be more confident than their younger counterparts, it is clear that these years old to run perfection have probably been wasted, anyway.
6 You learn the difference between problems that need resolution and situations that are not
One aspect of mental maturity, explains McCurdy, recognizes the difference between a problem and a situation. Problems are problems that can be resolved quickly and disappear, like a broken water pipe - while a situation is something that, although we can reduce its impact on us, will never really disappear, like a medical problem chronic. Recognizing the Gulf who separated these two types of problems, McCurdy said, allows you to focus your smart energy, do what you can make life better effortlessly in vain to eliminate the problems that resist solutions resolution. And manage your energy wisely is the key to make sure your years that follow are fully lived.
7 You know how to leave toxic relationships
"At 40," said Dr. Froswa 'Booker-Drew, author ofRules of Engagement: Make connections last, "If there are people in your life that does not suit you well, it's time to move on." And while "does not necessarily have to be a cruel break, it's about making sure you identify what's right for your life and what can not." If someone just does not work as a romantic or friend partner, no matter how many years you know, it's time to say goodbye. Although it may not have taken you so far now to recognize this fact, it's time to act and use your new maturity to defuse the situation calmly.
8 You weighed the consequences of your actions
At age 20, the reality that drinks with your friends until the small hours feel you like a ton of bricks the next day at work was a lesson that you reappear constantly. However, at age 40, Booker-Drew said, you begin to recognize that all actions have consequences and begin to weigh these actions accordingly. For example, she says: "You understand that whilestand up all night Can be done ... you know that the consequences are not worth it. Even more, you know the benefits ofnot To make self refresh and ready to grab the day by the horns - are too nice to pass.
9 You value your "defects"
These perceived faults do not disappear when you reach 40, but their weight is certainly illuminated. "When I was 40," said Dr. Booker-Drew ", these same insecurities I thought would stop staying there." Instead of triggering thoughts of low self-esteem or insufficiency, it began to realize that after 40 years, "you begin to value the defects and defects of yourself in a different way." The fact is that some can call them defects, many of them are just what makes youyou. So, instead of hiding them, because your youngest man may have done, it's time to celebrate them for everyone to see.
10 You realize that complaining does not stop you anywhere
When you reach 40, says Dr. Booker-Drew, you have accumulated worldliness to realize that there are many things - both good and bad - that are simply lifesty and can not be changed. With that, it comes from acceptance and, above all, and to complain. Because not only complains is usually no help, it often makes you feel worse - not to mention its negative effect on those around you. In fact, research published inMolecular psychologyreveals that chronic stress resembling these frequent complainants is likely to experience - can actually change neurons in the brain to prepare future stress.
11 You prioritize your whole well-being
These beers and hamburgers you have lived in your 20-year-old do not make you any favors in your forties, and that's why many people in the quarantine choose this decade to start prioritizing their general well-being.
"When a person is 40 years old, they often start a trip to well-being," said Katie Ziskind, an authorized marriage and a family therapist.WISDOM TO TIPS. One of the first steps towards this goal, she says, iseat upThis means "more salads and water versus beer and Chinese food", as it puts it. Even a little stimulation in nutrition of a diet, for example, exchange these fries for a lateral salad with oil and vinegar - can go very far, with effects that you can feel almost immediately.
12 You start thinking about what happens after you leave
As dark as it may seem at first, says Ziskind, "get closer to the means of death get curious about spirituality, [] life after death, yoga, Buddhism, etc. Although your young car may not have had the patience to engage in this kind of soul research activities, your 40-year-old auto can and should start asking the deepest questions. Just start with open minds, you do not answer you that you might find. The good news? Take the time to think about the nature of your existence can make the inevitable a little less scary.
13 You take the time to decompress
A lot of focusing on your health you get older, says Heidi McBain, a licenseConjugal and family therapist, Monitors your stress level. In addition to leaving toxic environments, taking the time to decompress, and generally more to be aware of when youyou stressShe said, it may be useful to "see a therapist for additional support. Because the least stress in your life, more space for everything else. And considering that the research published in theJournal of the American Cardiology College Suggests a link between stress and cardiovascular disease, there is no time as the present to start getting your stress under control.
14 You prioritize happiness about achieving
Once you have reached 40, you probably have a good idea of you own tastes and disgusts. This means that it is time to use this hard-earned self-knowledge for good. "Focus on yourself," said McBain, and indulge in "activities that fill you andmake you happy. Although the extent of your activities could be more limited than it was at a earliest age, it simply means that you get to engage more deeply with what you really turn.
15 You allow you to find a fulfilling career a priority
Now that you are 40, says McBain, it's time to take work seriously. But that does not meancareer Because it is easy, or pays well, or is prestigious. On the contrary, she says, it's time to "find a career that brings you joy. Preferably, she explains, "Something you skip the bed that want to do every day! Or, at the very least, something that does not do you want to bury your head back under the blankets and shout.
16 Looking for a sense of material
"After 40 years," says Milana Perepyolkina, the best-selling authorSecrets Gypsy Energy"People aspire to live with passion in deep relations than matter, in a loving community, in the work that makes the difference, and find powerful ways to deal with the realities of the world. What they avoid, however, is "the treadmill of life goes nowhere-to work so hard for material things that are not even a question. And while material things have their place in a busy life, they should not oust deeper values.
17 You get a handle on your work / life balance
After 40 years, said Jodi Rose,Art Therapist Credential, "My recommendation would be that individuals focus on improvementWork-life balance" Even the work executioners should begin to be more aware of how they spend their watch the potential benefits, it explains, are huge. Reduce stress, reducing irritability and improved physical well-being in general.
18 You get your stress under control
In addition to attacking his sources, says Rose, it's important toget the stress under control in general. The fact is, it explains, the chronic stress "is at epidemic levels in our culture," with 75 percent of the visits of doctors being associated with conditions of stress. The good news? If landing your stress is one of your priorities after 40, the effects of the advent of a new era of calm can have serious effects on your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being for the coming decades.
19 You prepare for an empty nest
For some parents, said Tara Truax, a clarity coach atLoveMysassyLife.com, Hitting your 40s means facing the reality of an empty nest. After taking care of others for the 15 to 20 years, she explains, perhaps a 40 years "find themselves lost, and unwanted feel abandoned. Thus, hit the big 4-0 is a good time to start preparing "what [you] as to reach once children are no longer needed [your] attention. So, have planned something-once in a travel life, dance classes, or play catching with the classics you have never had the opportunity to read, that you will be waiting just to attack once that you get this first moment for you.
20 You think the goals you have forgotten
At 40, says Truax, it's time "to think of ... Objectives that could have been forgotten for a long time but still have to be achieved." After all, he is far from too late to reach your wildest dreams. The time to climb your personal mount Everest is now - in fact, according to research published inThe Longevity Project, the lifetime key a longer life pursues your goals tirelessly, whether you reach them or not.
21 You start preparing for retirement
Although you may have saved money in your previous years, your 40s are often the first time you start considering knowing what your life will look after retirement. "While 40 may seem a long retirement path," says Truax, "the years go quickly andFinancial stability for retirement must be taken care of early. So start putting money - you can feel like you're at the forefront of your career, but that does not mean it will last forever. Your future auto with be practically grateful.
22 You think of life insurance
The retirement is not the only stage that one must prepare after 40 years, declares Truax. "Ensure that [you] have proper life insurance" is another crucial aspect of older growth that needs to be supported. While no one wants to think about their own mortality, life insurance is a necessity for anyone who has others depending on their expression. Not to mention, it is always easier to consider death when you are still far from it.
23 You are considering long-term care
Another future event to start preparing, says Truax is "long-term care". The fact is that when and if you finally need if care, you do not want to place this problem in your loved ones. To make sure that this does not happen, it is important to start considering your own options and preferences earlier than later. Start looking for the types and level of care you will need and want, depending on your future.
24 You think about your inheritance
Evaluate your priorities after 40 means it's time to start thinking not just the life you want to lead, but the impression you want to leave behind. That means you continue to do what you do - or make a drastic change - it's a decision you can do. Although a lot of what remembers you is beyond your control, part of it is to you - it is important to start considering what you want the inheritance to be and who works there. It is now time to start volunteering, calling your mother more regularly, or just try changing your prospects on life as a whole if you want to cement the positive heritage you hope.
25 You value reflection on spontaneity
Spontaneity can be fun, but the pursuit of fun on everything else often ceases to be a major priority after 40. "When a person is 40," said Ziskind ", they often turn away from the youngest , from the free spirit, of the party, the lifestyle bar of Charlie Gons. "Instead, she says, they engage in" a deeper state of reflection and wisdom ". That it means more nights spent at home, or a passage to a more introspective reading club, it's up to you - which is important is to start spending time looking out rather than 'outside.
26 You focus on longevity
When you are younger, it can be easy to ignore the fact that one day you will have 50 years, then 60, then 70, etc. When you are 40 years old, these ages start looking at the face, and you 'll realize it's time to prepare. This meansFocus on longevity, weighing your daily decisions against the way they will touch you on the road - and make sure the road is as long as possible. So be nice with your body - it will treat you well in return.
27 You become agreeing with saying "no"
Now that you are older, you are both less time on your hands, as well as a better understanding of how you want to spend this time in order to feel blossom. For all the time you have to the left went to good consideration, it becomes important to start learning to say "no" to things. Although you can always explore unexplored territories, it is not necessary to do things that you will not enjoy - or those who win you in the way you spend time on the things you are passionate - just Because someone else asked you. It may not be a syllable, but it's a word that can make a huge difference in your life.
28 You follow your instinct
Although you may have once shrugged the shoulders of these intestinal instincts, when you reached 40, it's time to start hesitating the strongest. At age 40, your instincts have become refined to frequent use - sufficiently useful for being really useful guides. So take advantage of this and start following them. Although they can sometimes climb you, you will not help you, more often, you will contact you to not take this work that your intestine told you you are going to be great or you do not ask for this cute stranger in a bar.
29 Your contextualize your life
This time, you've been up to May 18, seemed to be the end of the world, over 40 years old, it's hardly a Blip on your radar. On your way to forty years, life seems justto arrive-It is an endless flow of events, connections, achievements, sorrows, etc. If you get older, you can take a step back and put all these events in context, which facilitates the shoulders of these disappointments and celebrate these successes. It will remember both of the extent that you have come, as well as preparing for a lot of your previous adventures after 40 years.
30 You stop taking care of your appearance
When you are younger, you are often trying to look older and when you get older, you often try to look younger. Now that you hit your forties, however, it's time to look at your age. After all, it's a pretty sweet age of being, there is no reason not to display it. So dress up to impress - do not hide.
31 You invest in your long-term health
As you get older, your chances of becoming sick potentially, even significantly, significantly. It is therefore important to remain vigilant and looking for any change in physical status, vision problems toMALES AND PAINS It was not there before. Do not be afraid to ask a doctor about something less small than a taupe that you have never noticed before. It's always better to be sure that by sorry for both you and your family. And consider this search published inBMJ Open reveals that ongoing care with a medicon briefs your overall mortality risk, there is no time as the present to start planning these annual balance sheets.
32 You think more about yourself
Although in the younger years, you may have been focused on others - your spouse, your children, your parents - now that you are forty years old, it's time to get a little selfish. The fact is that you are the best of you when you can take yourself. So, do not hesitate to get a little selfish, taking "me-time", saying no to this great project that you have no time for you to have not had time or more activities that you may have avoided earlier because of your responsibility towards others.
33 You stop comparing yourself to others
If you have passed your first years to constantly compare your friends, family members, or even celebrities, you are far from you. Now that you grew up to yourself, but it's time to drop these comparisons that do not feel positive. You are too mature to be engaged in a negative thinking just to hurt or help your own ego.
34 You value the kindness
When you are in your forties, it's time to start valuing what really matters - not your appearance or the number of zeros on your bank account, but kindness. Tell your most kind friends you enjoy and make sure to return the favor. What happens around, and everyone could use a little more kindness in their daily lives. And considering that researchers atOxford University have found that kindness benefits both the donor and the recipient, there is no better time to start addingacts of random kindness to your TO-D0 list.
35 You stop thinking about regrets
It can be easy and tempting - to fight onPast Regrets. Now that you are in the quality of life, however, you simply do not have time to lose on things you can not change. So stop thinking about regrets or missed opportunities and realize that these "regrets" took place at the place where you are today - you will release precious head space in the process. If there are missed opportunities, you really can not escape, of course, it might be time to make a positive change - what matters here is to maintain your goal on the future, rather than losing Your time watching things you have can not change.
36 You stop judging others
Young people often consider others in order to feel better about themselves-insecurity, after all, is an almost unavoidable fact of youth. However, in the same way that you no longer need to worry about what others think of you after reaching 40, you have to stop worrying about what you think of others. Once again, it is about assigning the appropriate importance to different aspects of your life: you worry about your younger sick brother, but who concerns you with the romantic habits of your neighbor neighbor, is certainly not the case.
37 You stop trying to please everyone
Now that you are 40 years old, you have enough experience with people to know that, frankly, many of them do not count for you - and never. So stop trying to please everyone and focus on improving the life of those who matter and deserve your time and energy so that most people are not. You will never like everyone and try to do it will only leave you drained in the process.
38 You stop being afraid to "miss"
Most people have experienced Fomo at some point or another-wondering if they have made the right decision and missed an experience and wishing they did not have it. Once you have 40 years old, however, the choices you make with your time are much less arbitrary and, if there is something you have missed, it's probably something you can live without, any of all way. So do not hesitate to enjoy every moment of your Friday night at home, knowing that there is no room that you prefer to be.
39 You work smarter, not more difficult
When you are younger, it lacks a few hours of sleep every night for the extra effort to work might seem worth it. Once you hit forty, trading does not look so good - your body simply needs to sleep in one way or another. Instead of setting up an extra time, it is important to streamline your work process - using the knowledge you have won in nearly two decades in the workforce - to work smarter and more effectively. Your body, your boss, will thank you.
40 You let others help you
One of the biggest mistakes in youth thinks you can - and should be fully autonomous. The truth is, no man, woman or child is an island. Now that you are older, it's time to start accepting the help of others - or maybe even ask that the need arises. Rather than a point of shame, sage enough to recognize when you need help, it's actually one of the strongest things you can do.
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