Good Lifestyle

According to them only 33% of Americans have declared to be happy in 2017, according toThe Harris survey. The investigation hasmeasured Among the Americans for nearly ten years and that this number has never exceeded 35%. So, why is the massive majority of American adults not happy? Well, a major factor is that there is so muchMyths about happiness.

Without a clear idea of ​​what we are after - or how to get there, it's not surprising that many people do not feel happy. So, in the hope of getting back to the right track, we compiled some of the most perversiveMyths surrounding happiness This could start.

"People still think that once they reached their goals, they will be happy," says the coach of lifeStacy Caprio."They see happiness as a final result once they repaid their debt, graduate schooling, get this promotion or find a husband."

But according to Caprio, the fulfillment of these objectives will only provide short-term happiness likely to fade against your next obstacle.

For this reason, it urges customers to base their happiness on something other than a long-term or short-term goal. "Take advantage of the process is the case where the true happiness can be found," she explains.

"This personal force, independence or worst self-sufficiency are essential ingredients for or are synonymous with happiness, is a pernicious and pernicious myth in our culture," says psychoanalystMark Borg, co-author ofNaked dominance.

Not only almost impossible to realize for social animals as a human, but focusing on independence tends to "cut us off the consciousness of our emotional state," he explains.

In addition, according to Borg, it is counterproductive to try to be autonomous sometimes when you are incapable. In fact, he says, doing so, it's like "engaging in an emotional striket from which we are afraid to escape."

"Society teaches us that to have more things will make you happy and to have more is the measure of success," says the therapist of stressDee Doanes, owner of theShanti Atlanta Ayurveda Stress Clinic.

But this is not the case. "Have more increases yourstress Due to the amount of energy needed to maintain things, "she explains. So," many times where people have more things, the more unhappy they are. "

"Happiness is often considered a future destination or something else on the horizon," says the coach of lifeDannie de Novo, author ofGet in a good mood and stay there.

But that could not be further from the truth. "If you can not be happy right now, in the present, whatever your situation, then you will never be happy" one day "," she explains.

"One of the omnipresent myths of happiness is that it's linear," says the psychologistRachel Tomlinson, founder ofTo well-being. This is the idea that if you simply continue on the right path, you will become happier and happier over time. But Tomlinson exhorts: "This is not the case!"

There is no safe way to find happiness, and certainly none based on an idea to "do the right thing", "she explains.

"The most useless myth is where the normal state of most humans is to be happy all the time," saysKarly Hoffman King, aMental Health Advisor in Cincinnati, Ohio.

In reality, a big part of life is a pain, she says and less you are able to embrace that, the more likely you are to fight. "Those who are able to accept their pain in the context of life are much better equipped to handle it and pass them through," she explains. King urges customers to recognize happiness as a respite of struggle and not a state of being.

"Most people think that the oldest you get, the less happy you are," saysDiane Lang, a life coach and an inspiring speaker atDl counseling. "But the truth is, the oldest we get, the more happy we are."

In his experience, it is largely because when we are older, we are no longer looking for acceptance and approval of others. "Women discuss the way they are going to take more risks and get out more," says Lang. "Men discuss the way they calmed down a little and are less stressed."

"There are no" happy people "," saidPaul Depompo, a clinical psychologist atInstitute of Cognitive Therapy from the South California.

Despite the best efforts of others to convince you thus through their Selfies Instagram, the fact is that "we all have good and bad parts of our day," he said. The more you focus on this fictitious dichotomy between happiness and the absence of its absence, the more you will become unfortunate, depompo exhort.

It is tempting to imagine that there is only one thing lacked in your life that is the key to your happiness. But that's not the case, saysSamantha Waldman, MHC-LP,a therapist Based in New York that specializes in the transitions of life.

"While having a satisfactory relationship or a career can contribute to the sense of a person's contentment, and not an external thing can not serve as a key to unlocking happiness in a person's life," she says.

"I see everything about social media This sentence" Choose happiness ", as if we could just pass a switch and be happy all the time," says King. Although there is value ingratitude And enjoying little things, King says that the mantra is "a lot too simplistic".

Most of the time, "Happiness finds you, not the opposite," she says. It is not a voluntary action; It's more of a satisfied occurrence.

In fact, this idea is at the origin of the word itself. "'' PAH," The word root of happiness, means "by chance or chance", says King.

"Most people think that happiness comes from somewhere outside of themselves," saysJennifer Jakobsen, A life coach In Phoenix, Arizona. "It could not be more wrong."

According to Jakobsen, much of our happiness does not come from our circumstances, but how we answer them. "Happy people do not have all the best things," she explains. "They keep the best of what they have."

"There is an idea of ​​the life of a balanced, functional," normal "life is somehow boring or less than," saysLaura Dabney, MD, founder ofCoaching Dabney. But "" there is nothing wrong with aimA balanced and satisfying life If that's what's important to you. "

Instead of comparing you to social media stars, the starters of startup or international CEOs, it is important to remember that "you are in your own trip," says Dabney. "Rejecting the voice that says," You have not been successful, just because you're not going viral. "

Our company has put a lot of stock finding a career, but a job is only part of your identity, says Dabney.

"I'm talking to many young people who have a brutal awakening when participating in the workplace", she explains. According to Dabney, they are surprised to learnhow are their work dissatisfied That let them feel, because they were under the impression that they would provide them with the necessary satisfaction for happiness.

"There are so many other aspects to life that when combined, make an entire person," says Dabney.

According toinspiring speaker Jodie Ashbrook, happiness requires "the ability to fully embrace the beauty of our own unique trip, including all its unexpected twists and turns."

This means not despair in all curve bullets of life, but truly embracing uncertainty and "recognize the growth we live in the way".

"People believe once they get up, they can do all the things they really enjoy because they will no longer work," says Jakobsen.

Although it may be true for a selection group, "Most people need a goal in life to feel happy," she warns. In the place ofPending retirementTo live your best life, it recommends doing it now.

Money is certainlymake life easier. But, at some point, it ceases to do itbetter.

According to the search published in theActs of the National Academy of SciencesIn 2010, the positive correlation between income and "emotional well-being" ceases once you make more than $ 75,000 a year. Thus, the researchers concluded that "a great satisfaction of life buys life, but not happiness".

Being happy with oneself is of course important. But that does not mean that you will be happy in literal insulation.

Research carried out at theOxford University In the 1990s, extroverts are generally happier than their peers, because of their "greater participation in social activities". As a result, the research concluded that "happiness is strongly correlated with an extroave".

While coming from reality, it's certainly part of happiness, it's not all the story. In fact, happiness could cause a modification of your situation.

If you are unhappy, "No matter what your situation, try a change in very fashionable ways in very small ways, it's usually a good idea"writing clinic psychologistNick Wignall.

If you are unable to reach happiness, it's not always because you're doing something wrong. The fact is that mental illnesses affect the ability of many Americans to achieve a state of satisfaction in their lives.

According toAssociation of anxiety and depression of AmericaFor example, about 18% of the population is affected by an anxiety disorder. In the meantime, 6.7% are affected by a major depressive disorder. So do not blame yourself, but consideringSeeking help.

Happiness is no different from the lifting of a child: you need a village.

Especially as we get older, have the support of others is pivotal in terms of maintaining happiness. "The quality and quantity of social support can be taken into account as appropriate determinants and predictors of happiness in seniors", "recentlyto study in Iran found.

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