23 things to give up to be happy in 2019
Start the new year with less weight on your shoulders.
New Year's Eve is just around the corner and if your goal for 2019 is to have your happiest year, it's time to bid some of these expenses from the previous year farewell. When you decide on your resolutions in the coming weeks, you will need to dive deeper than to eat well, exercise and call grandmother more often. (Although you do these things too!)
If you have dropped a toxic relationship, you areAccro to your phoneYou have hung up at your ex, or you are chronic surveillance, it's the year to let your worst habits die with the last sparkling fireworks.
1 The bad priorities
As indicated byThe Harvard Gazette, an 80-year-old study of a team of Harvard researchers confirmed what many of us already knew: one of the most importantkeys to happiness Prioritons the time with the people closest to you. Of course, you live in the real world and you need to juggle other commitments, it's time to let you go from the idea that pursuing the achievements, glory or fortune will make you happier than a community solid of friends and family.
2 Toxic relations
Like good relations can send your soar happiness,toxic relations can quickly slaughter you. According toBrandi lewisApproved advisor and owner of leading board solutions in Charlotte, NC, "people in toxic relations often develop co-dependence and learn immediately to reject their own thoughts and must support the needs of other people."
Look for red flags in your own relationships, including models of lack of respect, undermine, a lack of support or another dynamic that let you regularly feel drained or unhappy. It's time to drop these unhealthy relationships and start making room for people who relieve you and support you instead.
3 Hate
As the new year moves, most of us wear some additional holiday books, and it is considered a given society that we will give up the way we are currently looking at the picture "before". But letting go of extreme beauty standards, bad body image and self-detestation are one of the best ways to practice personal care and self-acceptance, two ingredients needed for happiness. To focus oneat healthy foods And finding workouts that enrich your life rather than getting zero on all things you see as "bad" with your body as it is now.
4 Past relations
If you have hung up on an ex, the latter for you: 2019 is a new start and holding an unsustainable relationship will only hold you back. As explained by clinical psychologistDr. Alyssa Adams, "In order to dropPassed painful relations, be sure to allow you to move on. Be clear on the amount of mental energy and space a romantic relationship spent for you. "
Adams suggests being honest about the role your past relationship plays in your life and confronts all unhealthy habits you may have surround the relationship. "For example," she says, "do not check the social media accounts of your ex-partner and try not to remind you of events of a past relationship. It can be helpful to work with a coach or a Therapist to define specific objectives that will focus on the future and what kind of relationship you want to create. "
5 Attentive what the bad people think
"You should not worry about what someone else thinks!"
"You is the only opinion that counts!"
You have probably heard about this type of welfare advice, and it may seem harmless in his message of self-empowerment. But finally, there is an important distinction to do here: opinionsshould matter, some opinionsshould notAnd we must filter accordingly. This means that, of those we love, trust and respect, we must be receptive to constructive criticism, open to disagreement and likely to be prospects that expand ours. It also means recognizing when you worry about your power by worrying about the irrelevant opinions of those who have not won your trust and respect and do not need to affect your life.
6 Be glued to social media
According to a national study published in theJournal of Social Science & Medicine, 44% of young people aged 19 to 32 have been identified as havingSocial media habits "problematic", defined by a six-point dependency scale. The researchers found that those with these dependency traits were more likely to demonstrate depressive symptoms and that the increased frequency of use is correlated with the blade atmospheres and a small self-esteem.
"I recommend that people take notifications and alerts from their mobile devices and put aside time to check their social media profiles," saysJulie Williamson, an accredited advisor based in Saint-Louis. She adds: "It's also important to consider knowing who you follow on various platforms and what emotional impact the material they post have on you."
7 Fear of discomfort
According toDr. Kristin Bianchi, a psychologist based in Maryland, it's time for all of us to face our fears. "Let yourself avoid avoiding and building your bravery!"
Bianchi argues that rather than hold our old avoidance schemes, let yourself go from our fears of discomfort will free us all the new year showing us how much wecan manipulate. "If we are not going to the annual office party, we would certainly not blocked in a clumsy conversation ... But the next time we are invited to a social event in which we could meet unknown people we are going To be more likely to avoid that too, "she says.
8 Compare to others
It's too easy to scroll through your feed andjealous Others, if your desire stems from their apparently safe bank account, their relationship always adorable, or simply their ability to always look perfect in pictures. Yet the problem of unhealthy comparison existed long before Instagram-after all, was it notTheodore Roosevelt Who has single tweeted ", comparison is the thief of joy?"
But seriously, measure your own success against the implementation of the achievements, possessions or relationships of other people will always let you come, because you know all the bright details, the obstacles and the reverse of your own life. Choose to be happy with your best staff, push yourself to achieve goals that suit you, and see your soar happiness that you learn to determine your own value inside.
9 Drink too much
Of course, having some drinks can help us relax in the moment, but overdonnets regularly can have particularly negative effects on our health, our relationships and our mood. If you are about to leave you from the hook here because you consider yourself a "moderate" drinker, consider this:According to recent researchMost of us fail to understand how much we drink.
The study participants underestimated their consumption of 66%, the youngest even less specific in their estimates! Take a good idea of whether alcohol could affect you negatively, and if it's time to leave thatold age to die.
10 The chronology of the company to succeed
It is common in our company to expect some milestones forSuccess on a particular chronology. You can even have it in your mind that you want to be accomplished in your work of 25, married before 30 years old, have children of 32 years of age 40. But these things do not necessarily occur when we want them to (If ever) and be hard on yourself on yourself arbitrary delays makes you feel worse.
"Daily, weekly, monthly and annual goals", explains the marriage and family based in TexasHeidi McBain, "But try not to fight if you do not meet each of these goals, because you may want to leave a place for things that simply happen in life."
11 Past disappointments
You may have felt that 2018 was not quite your year. Maybe there are things youwish you had done differently. But let yourself go out of your disappointments will free you to take the future without everything that has added emotional luggage and a doubt of oneself, and is it not that the new year is everything?
"If you hold something you perceive as a failure, a missed opportunity or another disappointment, it can create self-depreciating thoughts," says the license to New York therapistThacker Sarah. "These thoughts can prevent you from not acting to go ahead during the new year and will withdraw ... leave these disappointments go and start fresh in 2019."
12 Unrealistic resolutions
Now that you dropped past disappointments, it's time to give you the best chance of future success. Wishing and visualizing a future that will make you happy are important steps to get you where you want to be. But for too many of us, we take care of the scene wanting and we have defined high resolutions on the sky without considering what will reach them.
Instead, define objectives of the size of a bite and start making progress in their direction. "Real change, no matter what is changed, is gradual. The small steps always work better for long-term change," saysDavid Ezell, Clinical Director and CEO of Darien Wellness in Connecticut.
13 Stress
These are really difficult and uncertain moments for many people, and you can have somevalid reasons for feeling stressed. But stress can have a major effect on your happiness in general and even your health actually,Studies show Beyond the most famous effects of stress, such as tension headaches, high blood pressure and heart disease, it can actually have a harmful effect on each of your organs. To live your happiest, healthier living this year to come, find ways to relax and self-care practice, even if it means slowing down your schedule a bit to do it. And do not be afraid to ask for help from friends, family or professional advisor if it seems to be an insurmountable task when adventured solo.
14 Self-doubt
Self-doubt is a self-directive prophecy. He seizes you with the fear of failure, which prevents you from pursuing your dreams by telling you that you are not good, intelligent, funny, seductive, or worthy of life you want. Instead of listening to the voice that tells you that you are not enough, ask yourself, "What is the worst that could happen if I just gave it my best and stranded? Then ask yourself, "What is the best thing that could happen if I managed? If you have been struggling with yourself, chances are that you have left opportunities sliding between the fingers for reasons as minor as the possibility of embarrassment. It's time to get away from your fear and startbelieve in your solvency.
15 Rancor
If you head to the new year with a chip on your shoulder about past grudge, it's time pausing and thinking about success. "When you hold angry and the resentment and the struggle to let them go, it will hold you in other areas of your life," says Thacker.
"He can have an impact your current relationships ... [and] He can make you feel stressed permanently and can affect your health. It's time to confront why you always hold on these difficult feelings, and find a way totreat and free the For your own well-being.
16 Try to change others
It is often said that people who feel out of control are looking to control others. If you spend time on other people's fixative behavior, or trying to make people comply with your expectations, it can be a sign that you have trouble regulating your emotional life. Unfortunately, this is a habit that can throw a key in relationships and other car and many of us do it without even realizing it.
"Instead of trying to control people and the world around you, take the time better you instead," says McBain. "Try to come from a place of acceptance and understanding. »
17 The expectations of unrealistic relationships
Many people believe that once you find the right partner, they will always be just "get" you, that you will always find them attractive and easy to love, or you will never be a wounded another. Unfortunately, any optimist, this kind of expectations can actually beDamage to relationships Because they put them in place for failure by creating an impossible standard.
The reality is that we are all humans, and even great relationships go through difficult times you do if you have asked the bad partner. Thinking relationships like having "seasons" instead of being static and being prepared for a little fluctuation in your own feelings can make your relationship much stronger and happier in the long run that you meet these ups and downs .
18 Guilt errors of the past
Just as we have to let go caught to others, marriage based in Philadelphia and family therapistSarah Epstein explains that it is just as crucial to let go of grudges that we hold to ourselves.
"A young age, we learn that he is our responsibility to forgive others, that others deserve the benefit of the doubt and a second chance," she says. "But no one ever tells us to forgive the means we have dropped. We have to forgive us for the moment we bake our angry child, the time we were average to someone in college, or the way we failed to respect our own limits and let the toxic people in our lives we have to Let go of our resentment to ourselves and really forgiveness is correct to let him go, .. we must take things against ourselves for the rest of our lives. "
19 Your attachment to your phone
A 2018 survey by SuCall revealed that we are essentiallyinseparable from our phones. About 69% of survey participants admitted having checked their phone from the toilet, 75% reported having slept next to their phone and 27% expressed fear or anxiety when taken in a situation without their phone . However, mobile devices are known to contribute to poor sleep patterns, increased stress levels, friction of relationships and feelings of depression and isolation. While we are heading in the new year, see what disconnect can do for your mood and general happiness.
20 Chatting insidiously
On aWake 2010 Forestry Study, what you say about others has more to do with you than the people you are talking about. Happy and emotionally stable people tend to see and talk about others with more kindness, whilenegative perceptions Other people were more frequently associated with narcissism and antisocial behavior.
If you notice that you are attracted tocritical judgment And gossiping, opportunities that you are alienating others, especially those with emotional stability and the confidence you may want to have had you. "You never know what someone else really goes through in life unless they are willing to be open and vulnerable with you," says McBain. "Try to come from a place of acceptance and understanding - with others, but also with yourself."
21 Generation in relations
If you notice that you tend to keep track of if you have "won" or "lost" arguments, go to the touch on the blame or mentally save all the beautiful things you have made so that others only shows his efforts. Do not get stacked, chances are, you sabothing your own happiness with your score. Not only does this deal with relationships like a competition, it breaks them by making you bitter. In 2019, it's time to erase the dashboard, relate to better faith and focus on all the good things in your relationships you need to be grateful.
22 Unnecessary commitments
Feeling tired and stressed is a way of saintwriting to feel unhappy, but many of us have cherished too much, believing that being busy is the same thing as succeeding. Many of these obligations canstart taking their toll, leaving little time for the hobbies we love and the relationships that annoy us.
"It may be useful to see how often you are using the word" should ", says Dr. Adams." Evaluate why you feel that you should do or not do something it explains that it is much more " important to create a vision for the new year and intentionally decide where you want to pass your energy. "
23 Your solitary-wolf mentality on success
Yes, independence is a quality that you should be proud, but many areas of life benefit from a strong support network. Let yourself go from the idea that you must befully autonomous To succeed and contact to invite people in. Most of the time, people are happy to help and even feel closer to you to be part of your process.
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