9 things you should avoid after the separation
Separations are hard and you have to learn to handle it.
There is no textbook to deal with a separation. Each of us makes it in his own way, and some people go better with the situation than others. But whatever you do, please do nothing from these things after a separation:
- Promise to change everything to get him back
One of the worst things you can do after the separation is to promise to change to get his / s back. The things that need to change are often personality features, not behaviors, and you can not change a personality feature from today to tomorrow, if at all. Instead of promising to change to get back to the partner, they promise to go to a professional advice. If you are not ready, then you are not really ready to do everything to bring this relationship to functioning.
- Listen to social media
Oh Facebook and Instagram, you are so tempting. Facebook even asks what you think if there is a request to share a status update. And although at this time it may be a good idea to send a public notice about why your ex is such a dirty bag, you will not feel really better and just make a person look bad - namely they themselves.
Instead of publicing public in the social media, one should compensate for the frustration in other ways. Write down things, talk to friends, or talk to a pro. Draining air is good - just not in public space.
- Only deal with smelling activities
You know that the ex loves his car over everything, and though it may be tempting it with a key to scratch, this will not really bring something.
When we are angry and angry, we easily forget the logic and let the emotional side of our brain win the upper hand. Things like dissemination of rumors, the damage of property and even telling small emergency lies to avenge the ex, can bring one into serious difficulties.
That's not worth it - therefore only helps: chin up and running on.
- Drunk calls or news
Even if you may not have any desire to talk to the ex, a few drinks, a glass of champagne, and already the idea seems to write her / him, how miserably man feels, reasonably. She is not. Never.
You can use an app to block the possibility in advance, send a SMS or call a phone number. So if you are drunk and feel that it's just the right time to chat with your ex, your phone literally does not allow. Brilliant, right?
- Direct a new relationship directly
After a breakup there is a lot of emotional luggage that you have to sort. This is really not the time to unload this luggage on someone else. That may sound common and terrible, but it's true. It's so tempting to prove that it is fine by going out and finds a new relationship. But if you have not dealt with the previous relationship or a relationship break, the chances of repeating the same mistakes are very high.
- Bad about the ex
Do you know this a girlfriend who you avoid to make, because every time you see it, you just talk about what an ass is your ex? You do not want to be a girlfriend. To worry about the ex partner before everyone who is listening to (even before those who do not want to hear), leaves a little and ridiculous.
Instead of spending so much time to focus on the past, it is better to talk to friends about how to make the future better. Open yourself in the focus and spend time to revive good friendships.
- In self-pity
It's okay to throw a pity party, finally you have a separation behind yourself and it's pretty crappy to handle it. A few trashy films, heap pizza and chocolate, drink wine from the bottle and stay in pajamas all day - fine. But this phase is to overcome. To stay in self-pity mode, only prevents it to be its best itself and focus on being happy again. It's okay to have a little time to regret the loss of relationship, but it should not go over weeks or even months. It makes no sense of a relationship that is over to devote so much of its own energy and time.
- Live through the happiest moments of the relationship again
This tip ties at the last point. But to see old photos, visit favorite places and to do things that you have always made together, will not use it in any way. Again, this will not feel better and literally does not serve any other purpose than making a guilty conscience. No thank you!
Although it is easy to acknowledge that there were happy times in the relationship, but there were also times that led to what they are now. Self-reflection is a good thing, a relationship never breaks together because of a person - which means that it was not just her fault and it was not just the fault of the partner. So it's okay to think about what was good and what was bad.
9. Try to change
Surely there is more than a reason why you have separated. Things were not good and are most likely not good again. Never. Give yourself the idea, no matter how much it hurts. But trying to change for someone who may not even appreciate you is a bad idea. In most cases, the misalignment is the result of personality characteristics that do not match, so there is actually nothing to do, no matter how your behavior changes.
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