Good Lifestyle

If you just started to meet someone, the chemistry can be overwhelming. The tingling in the stomach, the looks, the spark - all of this makes it difficult to recognize: is that the beginning of a real relationship or just an affair?
The truth is that love and lust can look similar at the beginning, but develop very differently in the crucial first three dates. Here you can find out how you can see the difference.

1. Emotional depth vs. superficial attraction

Love: When love develops, you quickly realize that the conversations go deeper. He is not only interested in the obvious, but asks about her goals, childhood memories or passions. Even little things - like their favorite food or their view of life - arouse his curiosity. Love is based on the desire to really get to know them.
Desire: If you want, the focus usually stays on the surface. Compliments revolve around their appearance ("You look incredibly sexy in this dress") and less for your personality. The conversations often end up with teasing, flirts or sexual hints, without real interest in your person.

Tip: If you go after the date with the feeling of really being understood, this is an indication of love. If, on the other hand, if you only feel “looking at” instead of recognized, that speaks for lust.

2. How the dates are planned

Love: The key word is "effort". He plans activities that give you space to build a bond - cafes, book stores, dinner with real conversations or even funny excursions that arouse memories together. The goal is connected.
Desire: The dates take place in places where privacy and physical intimacy are easier - in his apartment, late evening in a bar or at the "Netflix and Chill". The efforts relate less to them than to the opportunity.

3. Body language and touch

Love: There is affection that is calm and respectful. The eye contact remains, full of attention and interest in them. His touch is gentle, caring and without haste - they carry warmth and let them feel security.
Desire: The gestures are more pressing, faster and often occur before real trust could arise. His gaze wanders over her body rather than in her eyes. Lust is impatient, while love has time to grow slowly.

4. Communication according to the date

Love: He reports to the date - "I had a great time with you" or "I can hardly wait to see you again". He speaks to her on her day, remembers details that you mentioned, and makes plans for the next date.
Desire: The news is irregular, often come late at night and are usually flirting or sexual. He is less interested in her everyday life than when he can see her again to do something physical.

5th pace of the relationship

Love: He takes his time. Even if the chemistry is right, he prefers to be developed naturally, and focuses on building emotional closeness in addition to physical attraction.
Desire: Everything happens quickly. The relationship usually escalates physically after the first few dates, often without a solid emotional basis.

6. How to feel after the date

Love: They go home with new energy, feel respected and emotionally enriched. It remains a feeling of calm excitement as if they are building something valuable.
Desire: You leave the date with an intensive physical feeling, which can quickly run away. After that, a certain emptiness sometimes appears - the connection looks more like an adrenaline thrust as a feeling of security.

7. The reality check for the "third-date rule"

Many people say the third date is the crucial point - and in a way that is also true. At the latest at the third meeting:
Love: Love shows itself in constability - he is still just as interested in talking, making plans and establishing a connection as on the first date.
Desire: Fancy can start to imitate as soon as the initial attraction is breastfed - or the pressing of intimacy is getting more and more in the foreground.

In the vertebrae of new attraction, it can easily happen to confuse love and just desire. It is not only what he says, but above all how he invests his time, energy and his attention in her.
Love is aimed at the whole person - lust for the moment. If you want something real, you shouldn't overlook these early signs. The first three meetings in particular often show what they are.

There is a very important saying that summarizes the difference between love and lust: "Lust storms forward, love is waiting."