Good Lifestyle

In a couple, it is natural that partners have different desires and needs. This can extend to the frequency of sex, preferences or times conducive to privacy. Differences in sexual desire can sometimes be a source of frustration, doubt and even conflicts. However, they should not be perceived as an insurmountable problem, but rather as an opportunity to strengthen complicity and find a balance that respects everyone's needs. Here are some avenues to better understand this dynamic and facilitate dialogue.

Understand the factors that influence sexual desire

Sexual desire is not a constant; It varies from one person to another and can even fluctuate in the same individual over time. Several factors can influence this variation:

• Hormones: hormonal cycle, pregnancy, menopause or andropause are periods that can greatly affect sexual desire;
• Stress and fatigue: professional concerns, family responsibilities or a lack of sleep can decrease the desire to have sex;
• Physical and mental health: chronic diseases, pain, depression or anxiety can impact libido;
• Hygiene of life: an unbalanced diet, excessive consumption of alcohol or a lack of physical exercise can also play a role in the decrease in desire.

Understanding these factors is essential to identify the underlying causes of these differences in libido and allow the couple to find suitable solutions.

The importance of an open and benevolent dialogue

In a couple, dialogue is a key tool to deal with differences in sexual desire. It is important to approach the subject with delicacy and kindness, in order to avoid making the other feel that he is not "sufficient" or "normal". Here are some tips for promoting a constructive exchange:

• Choose the right time: it is better to approach the subject outside the bedroom and at a time when the two partners are relaxed;
• Express your needs without judgment: it is crucial to talk about your expectations, but also to listen to those of the other. Use sentences starting with "I" rather than "you", as for example "I would like that we find more frequent moments of intimacy" rather than "you never want me";
• Listening to emotions: the person with less desire can feel guilt or pressure, while the other can feel rejected. Taking into account everyone's feelings is a step towards a balanced compromise.

An open dialogue highlights the possible reasons for the differences in libido and can help find solutions that are suitable for both partners.

Explore suitable solutions to find a balance

Once the dialogue is open, it is time to explore concrete solutions to better experience the differences in sexual desire. Here are some ideas that can help:

• Create a flexible sex routine: Some couples find it useful to plan moments of privacy while remaining flexible. This ensures that the need for privacy is satisfied without feeling obliged;
• Explore other forms of intimacy: sexual desire can sometimes be awakened by other types of physical contact, such as massages, hugs or caresses. Strengthen the emotional bond can help increase desire in the partner who feels less;
• Consult a couple sexologist or therapist: if the differences in libido create important tensions, it can be beneficial to consult a specialist. Sexologists are trained to help couples understand the dynamics of desire and to offer suitable solutions;
• Accepting that desire fluctuates: understanding that libido is not frozen and that it can change depending on the periods of life makes it possible to release the pressure. This more relaxed approach can, paradoxically, contribute to reviving desire in one or the other of the partners.

Whatever happens, keep in mind that the differences in sexual desire in the couple do not necessarily mean that the relationship is in danger.