Good Lifestyle

Strong, trusting, healthy, long -lasting relationships. This sentence wants to take in the frame and bring in the muse of miracles, it seems so unrealistic. If you have not reached this ideal, we congratulate you at the club of most earthlings. "But no, I know many happy couples!" - you deny. And the devil in details. If you look closely, it is noticeable that in fact a cool relationship can be shaded. Others are there for reasons that are far from happiness, such as the fear of loneliness, habit, economic dependence, traditional stereotypes, infantry, sense of obligation, etc. Rarely, any of these people recognizes it in public. It is more convenient for them to stay in the conditional comfort zone and play their roles. In addition, there are many people in the status of Single (from the English "single"), which in the vast majority also like a harmonious, long -term relationship, but nothing works. So what went wrong on this planet?

We are used to reducing the set of simple options, even sprinkling them with a bunch of stereotypes, and then chasing this "universal" model. And everyone seemed to forget that every person is a huge space that cannot be simplified or unified. Carefully select the keys and combinations so that everyone is comfortable. Relationships are work, it's knowledge, it's time. This is a process for both and light paths here, but most are looking for them. Another problem through which a strong and long -lasting relationship has become such a rarity of total unwillingness for them. From the height of their own ego, most people are convinced that they are ready for relationships. They do not want to do any work on themselves, find a candidate, they are in a relationship, and only there begin painful transformations, while accusing a partner/RCU in failures and shifting responsibility. And the most interesting thing is mutual. Psychologists have long found out that mentally ready for healthy relationships people with almost surgical accuracy see equal partners. It is they who make up that happy minority.

For all others, we have prepared a number of tips that we hope to help build a strong and long -lasting relationship.

1. Set the priorities

Honesty is needed. Answer what is in the first place for you? Are there a strong relationship there, not a desire to give birth to a child, find financial support, emigrate abroad and more. Such priorities are also absolutely normal, they are just more about specific requests, not about finding a partner in a broad concept. This will help to avoid illusions and disappointments in the future.

2. Get rid of the ghosts of the past

Experience and work your unsuccessful relationship, otherwise you will broadcast all the misses and the benefits of the former to a new partner. If there are unspecified claims, or sharp corners from the past, solve it as soon as possible in any available way and put a point confidently.

3. Do not enter the relationship for the sake of relationships

If you feel that you are moving from relationships to relationships as a festive box, then it is likely to continue. So complexes and fears have seized you so much that you are subconsciously afraid to stay with you alone. As a result, you are always under the greater or lesser influence of the next partner and you do not even know yourself. Without this knowledge, finding a real strong relationship is extremely difficult.

4. Go to the psychotherapist

If you do not cope with the previous points yourself, be sure to consult a psychotherapist. And it is best to do so by default, because mental hygiene is very important. Your psyche needs to be cleaned of all injuries and fears at least a body of dirt. The main thing is to trust your health only to a graduate specialist and choose who will be comfortable to trust.

5. Choose with your heart

It sounds banal, but it's true. Building a relationship is a long and painstaking work, and in order not to seem serious motivation. It will be difficult to create a successful couple with those who simply meet certain criteria, but you do not feel that sent "chemistry". So do not try to deceive yourself, because you really recognize your person at once.

6. Discuss everything on the shore

It is about archive-important life principles and positions. Yes, at first you can hope that all sharp corners will be wrapped over time, but it is an illusion. Sooner or later, the question will be a rib and conflict will not be avoided. For example: you are a supporter of evidence -based medicine and vaccination, and your partner is on the other side of the barricades. And while everyone does, as they see fit, everything is fine, but with the advent of the baby the scandal will explode. Because you will not be able to sleep normally if you do not vaccinate the baby, and the man - on the contrary. So discuss all your worldview priorities as early as possible. If they are diametrically different, durable and long -lasting relationships are unlikely to be an explosive of a delayed action.

7. Learn to talk and listen to

Constructive dialogue is a cornerstone of relationships, without it you have no future. It seems easy, at first glance, but all the way. People often do not talk about inconvenient and choose not to hear the unpleasant, and then they do not notice how the poison of misunderstandings penetrates into all the snappers of the relationship and the crisis occurs. So, to avoid happening there, find the strength to listen to your partner and honestly open.

8. Feel happiness and fullness of relationships

Despite all the complexity and versatility of this area, in your life it exists for happiness to feel warm, support, care, fullness and love. This is how strong, long -lasting, healthy relationships look. If your instead resemble a constant battlefield, then this is the wrong way. Be able to let go on time.