Good Lifestyle

With anger and sadness, the therapists say confusion is one of the most common emotions with The partner was unfaithful . And it is natural to wonder why someone would cheat, especially if the relationship seemed solid.

"Infidelity in a relationship may not mean that a partner is entirely miserable or that it wants the relationship to end," explains Stacy Thiry , a mental health advisor approved at Develop therapy .

In the end, relationships are complicated. Just as someone can be miserable in their relationship and not cheat, the reverse may be true, depending on Aurisha Smolarski , a license marriage and family therapist and author of COPARENTANT COOPERATIVE for secure children. "Often, this is more of this person's misfortune with themselves than the relationship itself," she said.

Here are some reasons why people can cheat even in happy and apparently healthy relationships.

In relation: Is cheating never justified? Experts weigh .

"The low self -esteem leads to feelings of vacuum, disconnection, shame, guilt and uselessness," said clinical psychologist Monica Vermani . AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

According to Thiry, people sometimes seek external attention, affection and validation to increase their feelings of self -esteem.

"Even in a loving and happy relationship, a person may feel unattractive or feeling body image problems," said Ken Fierheller , a registered psychotherapist and owner of One Life Counseling & Coaching . "Although their partner can reassure them that they find them desirable or attractive, being flirted with or approached by a new person can provide a temporary boost of the Ego."

Studies show This new experience triggers a release of dopamine - a brain chemical involved in feelings of satisfaction, pleasure and motivation.

Therefore, having sex with someone again could offer a rush to these well-being chemicals, says Renée Zavislak , a license marriage and family therapist and host of Psycho-therapist: the podcast .

"I remember a customer who deeply loved his spouse but found himself in a case only for the thrill of the new one", shares Kristie TSE , an approved health advisor and founder of Discover mental health advice . "They were not miserable or did not try to escape their marriage. Even in a fulfilling relationship, individuals could want to excite new experiences."

For this reason, Thiry says that he is crucial for couples in long -term relationships to continue to seek new experiences together to fight against boredom.

In relation: 6 ways to rebuild intimacy after cheating, according to the therapists .

Libido can vary from person to person, and it can also fluctuate over time. Sometimes, when a couple has incompatible libidos, Fierheller says that the partner with higher libido can seek ways to meet their needs outside the relationship.

It certainly does not make the cheating OK. But if someone feels regularly Dissatisfied in their sex life , they may be more likely to slide and grasp intimacy with someone else.

This is why Fierheller says that it is so important to have regular, open and honest conversations on your needs and your desires. The more you communicate, the more you may find common ground with regard to sex that works for both of you.

According to TSE, traumatic experiences of someone can also lead them to cheat. For example, if they have seen infidelity grow, it may have been standardized for them.

"People who are raised in a house where a parent has deceived their partner often repeats these models," said Vermani. "They may have trouble trusting or believing that their romantic partner will be faithful to them."

Attachment problems can also come into play: Studies have shown that anxious and avoidant people Attachment styles May be more likely to cheat.

But that doesn't mean that someone can use trauma as an excuse to cheat.

"Therapy and advice can help solve these deep problems, in favor of personal growth and healthier relationship dynamics," added TSE.

In relation: 4 signs that your partner will never cheat, according to the therapists .

Sometimes the frequent physical absence of a partner can be a motivation factor to cheat.

"If the partner of an individual travels a lot, he could start to feel alone," explains under license marriage and family therapist Rachel Goldberg . "Even if they intend to spend their lives with their partner and understand that the trip could be temporary, they are starting to open up to the external company to fill a void. This could occur deliberately or by chance When the opportunity arises. "

In these circumstances, cheating often begins as a emotional affair Rather than physical.

Impulse control is the ability to resist the desires and sudden temptations - and some people are stronger in this area than others.

"For example, a person who used to fight in bars or drink excessively to deal with emotional difficulties could stop these behaviors as they age, settle in a relationship or have children", explains Goldberg. "However, they can continue to look for a sort of thrill and escape the stressors of stress that they face at home, leading them to act by impulse and cheat."

Fortunately, there is ways to improve pulse control Thanks to therapy, as by working to increase its capacity for empathy.