How journalization can transform your wedding, say the experts

The therapists of couples ravage this simple and effective practice for spouses.


A happy marriage is built on many things, in particular confidence, communication, respect, honesty, commitment ... and pleasure, of course! For a successful union, the two partners must present themselves, make the effort and invest time in order to navigate in the inevitable ups and downs of life as a solid unit. Although there are many ways to connect with your spouse and keep the spark of your fresh meeting days, experts say that journalization can be a powerful tool that provides a space to treat difficult emotions and celebrate this that you love with your partner. Read Find out why experts recommend a journalization to deepen and transform your wedding .

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How can journalization help your wedding?

Be triggered and exploded to your spouse occurs too often, but Nicole Moore , expert in love and relationship and television host of Reality of love Explained how journalization could help solve this problem.

"One of the greatest ways that journalization can transform your wedding is to give you a safe space to understand and heal your triggers before projecting them on your partner," she said.

"Many marriage arguments occur because couples do not take the time to treat their own emotions before sharing them with their spouse," said Moore. "Journalization offers you a great way to gain clarity on what you feel first. By marking on your feelings and triggers, you can arrive at the root of what you feel, and you can then communicate your emotional truth Brute to your partner instead of blaming them. "

Why journalization provides a safe space

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Nicole Sodoma , lawyer in divorce and author of Please don't say you're sorry Explains: "Journalization provides an additional layer of communication that can be safer and more controlled than face -to -face interactions, in particular in situations loaded with emotion."

Think about it as if to send an email to your partner. "You have time to choose your words carefully and make sure that your message is clear and attentive during journalization - and you can sit on it if you don't know what to say," explains Sodoma.

By doing this exercise in private with your newspaper, you can then have more productive and less conflicting exchanges with your face -to -face partner because you have explored your own feelings and how to express them (using words like "I feel "Accusing sentences" you don't "").

Journalization offers a deeper self -awareness

Todd Baratz , an approved mental health advisor, says that self -awareness is essential to understand you better, which can also help you navigate your romantic relationship more clearly.

"Better you understand yourself, the better you can contact your partner and work through conflicts," he said. "Journalization can help you recognize the models of your behavior and your emotions, allowing you to solve problems more effectively and make informed decisions on your relationships."

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How to report your wedding

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1. Note your desires

According to Moore, writing what you would like your wedding to look like - and the things you would like to take advantage of - is an excellent starting point during journalization for your wedding.

"By marking on your wedding desires and clearly out on paper on what is missing, you can start focusing on the means to improve your wedding so that it is not stuck in a rut."

"Once you have identified the desired feelings at the heart you would like to feel in your wedding, you can journal the means to create this feeling again by your own actions and also what you would like your partner to do," adds-t -She. "In this way, you both assume the responsibility of ensuring that marriage feels best as possible."

2. Let your anger go out

Being frustrated by your spouse is normal, but instead of acting this anger, Luis Maimoni , an approved wedding and family therapist, says that journalization can be a healthier outlet (if the situation allows you to go back for a single time).

"Anger makes us say and mean things, and things mean that wounds cause an injury," he said. "You can preserve the good of your relationship by diverting your anger in your newspaper. Write and draw until you find yourself breathing normally and to think clearly."

Once you are in a colder place, "think about the reason you are so angry," advises Maimoni. "Then use your newspaper to develop a sentence that looks like something" I felt ________ when you said / done ________, and what I need you is _____________. ""

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3. Practice important conversations

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"Couples often try to skip the portion of reflection of communication and lead with their reactions. It is a great way to get stuck in bad communication cycles," explains psychotherapist Stephen Mitchell and therapist Erin Mitchell, co -founders of co -founders of Counseling for parents .

Instead, work what you feel and why it can be in your newspaper first. Then, when you are ready to speak with your partner of everything that suits you, you will be equipped with a well -balanced understanding of the situation to be accomplished, which will help the Convo to get better. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

4. Set objectives for your relationship

To help succeed personally and professionally, the setting of objectives can help you find management and concentration, and journalization is a great way to set The scrolls , Julie Bulit, an approved social worker and marriage counselor, and her husband David Bullitt, family lawyer.

"The use of a newspaper to set objectives - whether intimacy, financial or other objectives - is an effective tool for a couple to" constitute the team "and strengthen the links that bind", say -they. "" Have we saved our desired amount this month for the summer trip? Have we cut every day for both of us, even if for a few moments? ""

These objectives should be both realistic and very ambitious, the bulitts advise. Note them in your newspaper, check regularly with your partner about them and be critical and / or congratulations according to your progress.

5. Work through difficult perspectives

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If your spouse has a different opinion from that on something and you have trouble seeing where it comes from, journalization can help you understand them better.

So note the position and feelings of your partner, in addition to yours.

"Seeing the disagreement in this way on the page helps us to understand our partner's point of view and why they feel what they do," say the bulitts. "It can also have the involuntary consequence of seeing our own point of view and, when it is there in front of us, perhaps not be so reasonable or just after all."


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