7 words of affirmation to ensure that your partner feels loved
These sentences can help build love, confidence and intimacy, say the experts.
A love relationship is a nice thing, but it can also be a lot of hard work. This is because, for the most part, you get what you put in your partnership. If you choose to invest your time, your care and your attention, your relationship will probably develop and prosper. If, instead, you come back to the bet on the automatic pilot, thinking little about the needs of your partner, you may find that your love is starting to wither on the vineyard. Sharing love affirmations is only a way of adopting a proactive approach to your partnership, and experts say that communication in this way can have a deep and lasting impact on your coupled. Read the rest for the best affirmation words so that your partner feels particularly loved.
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Are the words of affirmation a language of love?
Communication is essential in relationships, but countless couples are missing the brand when it comes to expressing their feelings for each other. That is why Gary Chapman , PHD, introduced the concept of the concept of Five love languages , everyone describes a favorite style to show or receive love.
"The words of affirmation are one of the five fundamental languages of love. In addition to the words of affirmation, there are acts of service, physical touch, gifts and quality time," explains Mark Verber , LPC, expert in relation, advisor and owner of Epic counseling solutions . "They may not be as flashy as gifts or romantic as physical touch, but the words of affirmation are no less important . ""
When partners have the same love language, it can make a more intuitive and happier union suggests Chapman in his book, The 5 languages of love: the secret of love that lasts . More often than not, the language of love of your partner will be different from your own language of love. This means that you will have to learn their preferences and be aware of demonstrating your affection in a way they can receive.
However, Brian Reiswig , LMFT, a Authorized and family wedding therapist , note that it is important not to reduce the complete scope of your partner's needs in his main love language. "To say that the words of affirmation are the language of love of a person implies that they are not another. Everyone must hear that they are seen, valued and sought after," he said.
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What are the advantages of using affirmation words?
The words of affirmation can help to create an atmosphere of mutual respect and appreciation in your relationship. When shared with sincerity, they can express a sincere commitment, build your partner's self -esteem and help you strengthen your link. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
"The words of affirmation are verbal expressions of appreciation shared with a loved one. They demonstrate that someone is noticed, valued and, above all, counts enough to recognize directly with words of gratitude. People generally like to be seen , heard and honored for whom they are and how they present themselves to their partners, "explains Verber.
The advisor adds that when you use words of affirmation, "what is rewarded will be repeated". He says that the more you recognize and celebrate a favorable behavior or quality in the person you love, the more it is likely to become a regular characteristic of the relationship.
Martha Tara Lee , Dhs, ma, ma, relational advisor, clinical sexologist and founder of Coaching Eros , said the advantages do not stop there. "Affirmation words can also serve as a powerful tool to resolve conflicts, promote understanding and promote intimacy between partners," she notes.
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How should you introduce words of affirmation in your relationship?
The introduction of affirmation words in your relationship can be a transformative experience - which brings so much joy to your partnership, according to experts. Lee note that there are a few key ways that you can amortize to integrate them into your regular communication style.
Start with the reflection.
You will want to start by spending some time thinking about yourself, your partner and the partnership itself, suggests Lee. "Take the time to think about the qualities and actions of your partner you appreciate and really admire. This will help you identify significant words to express," she said.
Accept your partner's words of affirmation.
This style of communication is a two -way street, which means that you will also have to "receive compliments graciously" and "learn to let them land" Laura Doyle , A New York Times author of bestsellers, wedding coach and the host of Autonomous woman podcast . If you divert the kind words from your partner instead of accepting the compliments, you will miss an opportunity to create a more positive communication style.
"When your response to your partner compliments you is to discuss", no, I don't seem good today ", or" No, this meal that I made was not great ", you discourage Future compliments.
Be authentic and specific.
Lee says that the key to finding the right love language words is to avoid speaking in platitudes, to focus rather on the qualities that you sincerely admire in your partner.
"When you offer words of affirmation, be sincere and specific in your compliments or expressions of love. Avoid generic or superficial statements and focus on what really resonates with you," she advises.
Reiswig agrees that this is a powerful mode of communication. "A basic rule is the three S," he explains. "Keep things simple, specific and sincere. Instead of saying:" You are such a nice person ", say it", I like the way you make people feel seeing. ""
"The vague affirmation has a vague impact," he continues. "Tell them when you see them overcome something hard", I know that this moment had to be hard, I was surprised to see how brave you are. "And finally, let them know the impact they have on you:" I am so grateful to you and the way you always have my back. ""
Practice active listening.
Many people feel uncomfortable with the concept of words of affirmation because he feels unfortunate to offer spontaneous praise. However, these moments do not have to occur in the void - the experts suggest that the words of affirmation are often the most significant in the context of wider conversations.
For example, if your partner shares that he had a difficult day, you can say how they managed the challenges they have faced. If you argue with your partner, you can take a break and assert something he does correctly or validate a good point he has done.
The key to this style of communication is to practice active listening. "Pay attention to your partner's needs, emotions and style of communication. Use active listening techniques to understand their point of view and respond with empathy and validation," explains Lee.
Create a safe space.
Before you start to open, it is important to lay the foundations for mutual trust and emotional intimacy. If you feel it lacks, talk to a couple therapist Can help you get things on the right track.
"Establish an environment where the two partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, their feelings and their vulnerabilities. Encourage open communication and their mutual respect in your interactions," explains Lee.
Focus on intrinsic qualities, not extrinsic.
Reiswig says that when you find words of assertion for your partner, it is advantageous to dig deeply and to think about the most central qualities to whom they are.
"We are all hungry to know that the people of our life really appreciate the person we are, not only the advantages that we bring. So make sure you express how much you appreciate their personality and their character," said he Better life. "It is wonderful to know all the details that your beloved finds attractive, but if our assertion stops there, it will finally feel objectifying. Let them know that you like their sense of humor, the way They care about people, the way they do you feel safe and the way they support and believe in you.
Coherence is the key.
Lee says that making words of affirmation a regular part of your communication routine can considerably improve the relationship. "Incorporate them into daily conversations, special moments or difficult situations to strengthen your love and appreciation for each other," she said.
Some couples may see that the addition of even more structure is beneficial. "You can also integrate a daily recording with your partner which includes a simple gratitude ritual," suggests Verber.
Publish.
Once you are comfortable sharing words of assertion with your partner, Reiswig suggests making your feelings known more publicly.
"One of the simplest ways to overeat the impact of your words of affirmation is to say them in front of other people," he said. "You can share them with others while your partner is nearby to hear, or you can assert them directly so that others hear you do. In both cases, you will leave them by feeling honored and appreciated at a deep level. "
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7 love affirmations to strengthen your relationship
If you are on board with the sharing of words of affirmation but that I do not know where to start, it can be useful to start with some examples of affirmation. Although experts are all suitable that it is important to reflect on the specific qualities and forces of your partner, these suggestions approved by experts can help make your creativity flow.
1. "I admire and appreciate the way you prioritize the well-being of our family."
Whatever the form of your family, recognizing the work that your partner puts there may be a powerful message. For couples with children, this can be particularly significant due to stress and strains that parenting can relate.
Lee suggests using this particular sentence as a starting point, but you can always widen more deeply to highlight the greatest forces of your partner within your family. For example, try to recognize their emotional generosity and their patience, their desire to make compromises or their dedication to support your family.
2. "Thank you for managing difficult situations with grace and resilience."
The way your partner takes place during the difficult times says a lot about whom he is. To this end, Lee says that you should be sure to celebrate it when they manage these difficult times with grace and resilience.
Again, becoming specific and let them know what good actions have attracted your attention can maximize the impact of your words. For example, tell them that they did an excellent job to stay calm during a crisis or get back on a big setback of life can make your partner feel particularly seen.
3. "The way you listen carefully makes me feel really understood."
The practice of active listening is important in all relationships, constantly of your partner's main love language. Lee says it's a good idea to also rent your partner when you notice them Listen carefully.
This simple sentence can help you promote a communication style in which active listening is the norm. As a bonus, telling your partner that you feel that he understands that you will help strengthen the feelings of intimacy and connectivity.
4. "I have total confidence in your ability to overcome this challenge."
Sometimes, in difficult times, your partner simply needs to know that you are believing in them. By giving them a verbal trust in trust, you strengthen an atmosphere of trust.
Of course, if there is a specific situation that your partner tries to overcome, it is a great idea to recognize the way you see them succeeding. This can help strengthen their self -confidence, as well as their confidence in your support.
5. "I know it's difficult, but my back."
It can also be powerful to let your partner know that he does not have to meet his challenges alone. Verber suggests that by recognizing difficult times and telling your partner that you have their backs, you strengthen your link and establish confidence, finally strengthening the relationship.
Likewise, it's a great idea to recognize when you notice that your partner also has a back. Lee suggests saying something in this direction: "Your unwavering support for difficult times means everything for me."
6. "I'm glad you shared this with me."
If your partner opens and shares something private, significant or vulnerable, it's always a good idea to share your appreciation. Verber suggests this sentence, which validates your partner's desire to speak frankly, and strengthens that your relationship is a safe space for all conversation subjects.
7. "Thank you."
Finally, the simple fact of thanking your partner when he does something nice is perhaps the most essential affirmation that you can give them. After all, you probably have the opportunity to thank your partner for his good deeds several times a day.
Experts say you should try to be precise in your gratitude and let them know for what you thank them - even if it seems obvious to you. For example, if your partner loads the dishwasher without being asked, try to say: "Thank you for doing the dishes - I really appreciate that you have taken the initiative", rather than simply saying " THANKS".
In the end, adding these types of sentences to your relationship should help him grow and prosper, experts all agree. "The words of affirmation are like seeds planted in a garden," explains Lee. "When they were nourished and tended to take care, they become beautiful flowers of love and appreciation, adding color and dynamism to the relationship."