Good Lifestyle

We do not always put the same sustained effort in our platonic connections that we make our romantic . Once you get closer to someone, it is easy to assume that it will be a friend for life - but friendships also take work, and it is important that you take the time to cultivate these relationships as well. Even if you think you know everything there is to know that in your circle, there will always be more to learn. In this spirit, we talked to different experts to get their best advice on how you can create stronger obligations. Read the rest to discover 13 deep questions you should ask your close friends.

In relation: How to make friends as an adult: 16 steps to follow .

You are likely that you have been friends with those closest to you for some time, which probably means that you have both changed certain ways over the years. Shari Leid ,, friendship And the founder of an imperfectly perfect life, says that it is important to think about this change by asking your friend his reflections on this subject.

"Recognizing your growth can improve your understanding of each other and your developing friendship," she shares.

It is also good to recognize that even the nearest friendships are not perfect. Ask your friend the changes they would make in your relationship "invites honest comments, reflection on mutual growth and highlights the areas of improvement", according to Jacob Coyne , founder of mental health organization Stay here.

"It is not only a question of creating narrower connections; it is a question of providing a safe space for the expression," he explains.

Not everyone feels love and appreciation in the same way. Even so, "most people often do not communicate what they really need for a friendship to prosper". expert expert Nicole Moore tell Better life . Fight this by directly asking him for your friend.

"By having an honest conversation with your friend on what they need you in order to feel treated and loved, you can make sure you do your best to be really a friend of the way they need", she says.

Moore says that your friend will probably feel so touched that you have taken the time to ask them questions about their needs that they will make the favor to ask you what you need.

"With clear expectations and directives as to what each person in friendship needs to feel as if the other is a good friend, you will create a solid roc friendship," she adds.

In relation: 210 deep questions to request a narrower connection .

You don't have to focus your questions about your own friendship, of course. Asking your friend how he feels most connected to everyone in his life can also be revealing and stimulating reflection Julia Heavner , Psyd, a approved clinical psychologist Based in Baltimore.

"People vary considerably in what makes them feel most connected to others - for some, he shares a new and exciting experience together, while for others, he does trivial daily tasks," notes Heavner. "It can be a way to learn something new about your friend and provide the possibility of being intentional to connect with them in the most effective way to move forward."

At the same time, it is also important to ask your friends the negative experiences they have had in their relationships.

"A question such as:" When did you feel the most people disappointed by the people of your life? "Can evoke difficult emotions, but it allows the speaker to share something vulnerable and to have the possibility of being understood and validated," said Heavner.

This can help you better understand your friend and their triggers, as well as help them "go beyond difficult emotions such as resentment, sadness, anger", according to Heavner.

Asking someone about his childhood and how he thinks that it affects them now can also have an impact Family lawyer Cynthia Hernandez .

"This causes a reflection on models and behaviors deeply anchored in relationships, inviting a level of vulnerability and self-awareness," she explains. "In my work, recognizing these influences often opens the door to resolve the present conflicts, because individuals include the origins of their reactions and interactions with others."

However, we are not only affected by our childhood. According to Hernandez, inquire about the most influential life experiences of your friend who invite them to "share pivotal moments that have contributed to their state of mind and to current values", according to Hernandez.

"Getting involved in such conversations can forge a stronger link by providing an overview of their difficulties, their triumphs and their personal growth journeys," she said. "Likewise, in my mediation sessions, encourage parties to articulate their concerns and fundamental experiences often lead to greater empathy and understanding, facilitating more friendly resolutions."

In relation: 8 "polite" questions that are actually offensive, say the experts in label .

Some people also have solid values ​​that are not based on a single experience in their lives. It may be useful to ask them to share the belief they think they have the most shaped their identity, Rychel Johnson , LCPC, a mental health expert In Kansas, said.

"You point out that you care who they are at the base, not just surface chatter," she notes.

Another way you can "better understand the values, the beliefs of your friend and the lessons they have learned throughout their trip" is to ask them questions about the best advice they have ever received, Natalie Rosado , LMHC, license mental health professional And the founder of Tampa Counselling Place, says. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"This gives them the opportunity to share the wisdom that has had a significant impact on their personal growth and their decision-making processes," she shares. "In addition, he opens the door to significant conversations on the challenges of life and how they have sailed them, promoting mutual support and understanding in your friendship."

We all react to the stressors of stress in life in different ways, so it can be difficult to know when someone else goes through a difficult period unless you know what to look for. Do not hesitate to ask your friend some of their most visible signs.

"This gives the other the feeling that the inquiries cares about his distress and wants to listen to his emotional state," explains Heavner. "If you can perceive precisely when a friend has trouble in life, you can be a more reliable source of support."

Although it is good to find out about your friend's life experiences, fundamental values ​​and stress signals, Sal Raichbach , Psyd, approved clinician And clinical director of Haven Health Management, says you should also try to know their interests and passions better.

"Perhaps there is a side that you have never seen before, or maybe they have a hidden talent waiting to be discovered," said Raichbach. "Ask them what they always wanted to try, but have not yet opened the opportunity for future experiences and adventures together - allowing you to create even more memories and shared interests."

If you are really determined to be "friends for life", you need to know what your friend really wants and envisages for himself in the future.

"Many friendships keep friends locked up in their current reality or in the past and these friendships can really suffocate personal growth," warns Moore. "But knowing your friend's goals and holding space to achieve them can create space so that your friendship grows and evolves over time rather than staying stagnant."

Talking to your friends advertisements they see online may seem a little stupid at the beginning, but there are in fact so many things that someone can learn through it, New York therapist based Ricki Romm , Lcsw, tells Better life .

"This is an excellent question because today's algorithms seem to be" we know better than we know ourselves ", she underlines." These are the things we google, but we have not necessarily started to speak."

Romm says that this question is guaranteed to generate "interesting results". You can learn that your friend sees advertisements for business coaching because he dreams of opening a restaurant. Or maybe you find out that your friend plans to move in with a partner, because he sees advertisements for furniture.