6 signs that you live in gas lighting at work, say the therapists

Here is what to do on this, according to the experts.


The dynamics of complex power and constant requirements and deadlines can make the workplace an emotionally heavily environment. And while most Jobs have a certain level of stress involved, some workplaces have particularly unhealthy models. In particular, some people report be handled By questioning their own perception of reality. Many say that it can be particularly difficult to navigate in this scenario without compromising their jobs.

For this reason, it might be better to speak first with the person directly and to resolve it for yourself, suggests Rachel Goldberg , LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg therapy in Los Angeles, California. This approach, received in good faith "," allows the other colleague to rectify the situation and, hope, to respect that you have brought it to their attention without engaging in senior direction and threatening their work, "said She.

However, if it is not an achievable option, if harassment is involved, or if the person doubles on their gas lighting, the next step is to express your concerns to a superior. "If it is a superior that lights gas, it could be wise to call on human resources (HR), so that your efforts do not translate into reprisals. In the end , it is important to document everything with dates to provide clear evidence in case a degeneration situation, "shares Goldberg.

Wondering if what you live is gas lighting? These are the six red flags that could suggest intentional manipulation at work.

In relation: 4 signs that your parent enlightens you, the therapist says .

1
A colleague or a supervisor regularly deforms the facts.

men talking at work
Portra / istock

The greatest characteristic of gas lighting is when someone intentionally deforms the facts and undermines your perception of reality. At the workplace, this can be particularly subtle. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"An example of this is during the presentation of a collaborative project with a colleague, and the colleague takes the credit of the majority of ideas, despite the truth being the opposite," notes Goldberg.

Online therapist Becca Reed , LCSW, PMH-C, says that she frequently hears customers that they believe that their boss or colleagues have accumulated them in this way. "Your supervisor or your colleagues may deny that events have occurred or invalidate your feelings. You can find yourself questioning your memory or your perceptions," she shares.

"Consider keeping detailed recordings of interactions and incidents," suggests Reed. "This can serve as a reference point for your experiences and can be useful in discussions with HR or a colleague of trust."

2
You receive unjustly severe or personal criticism.

Young woman holding her head as though she has a headache while in the office
Fizkes / Shutterstock

The two experts say that if you are constantly receiving severe criticism, it could be a sign that you are experiencing gas lighting at work.

"An example would be if you were criticized during a performance review for low productivity and it has been insinuated that the problem is due to your lack of initiative and competence without mention of inadequate resources or expectations Unrealistic of the workload, "explains Goldberg.

Reed says that there are some key means that you can postpone this gas lighting form: "Look for the comments for several sources to obtain a more balanced vision of your performance. Understand regular professional development to strengthen resilience against criticism Unjustified. Consider documenting your achievements and contributions. Share updates or stopover relationships with your supervisor and your peers regularly to make sure your work is represented with precision. "

In relation: 5 times, you wrongly accuse someone of gas lighting .

3
You notice a scheme of broken promises.

angry male boss yelling at his female employee
istock

Goldberg says that another red flag that could suggest gas lighting at work is if you notice a model of your boss who refuses his previous promises.

"An example of this is your boss who lets you know that you are the next to promote, then ends up promoting someone else or hiring from the outside and denying him who promises you," she said .

In the future, when your boss makes a promise that you worry not to keep, follow him by confirming it in an email.

4
Your boss denies playing favorites.

two male businessmen shaking hands and smiling in the office
Shutterstock / Fizkes

Sometimes a boss can promote an employee compared to another. Although this can create a tension for obvious reasons, it is not, in itself, gas lighting. However, "acting ignorant or inventing a baseless excuse if it is confronted" is a sign of gas lighting in this scenario, known as Goldberg.

Note if it affects your ability to do your job. If this is the case, it is worth documenting in case you decide to take measures or have to defend your position later.

In relation: 7 Signs of body language which means that someone is lying, according to therapists and lawyers .

5
You notice that the goal posts are still in motion.

Demanding boss pointing to his watch and asking his employee to hurry up while she sits behind a stack of folders and papers
Demaerre / Istock

Reed says that if you are constantly noticing expectations, it could be another sign of gas lighting at work. "Objectives, deadlines or project guidelines frequently change with little notice, which makes you almost impossible to meet expectations or to finish tasks successfully," she says, describing how this form of gas lighting could take place.

The therapist recommends requesting a written clarification on your role, your responsibilities and your expectations if this occurs with the frequency. "Having a documented agreement can provide a stable reference point and help meet travel objectives," she said.

6
You are intentionally isolated from others.

Confused man looking at his laptop
Dropout

Another red flag that can indicate gas lighting in any type of relationship - romantic, family or professional. Indeed, when you are alone, it is more difficult to confirm your own understanding of events or to validate your feelings.

Reed says that a boss can isolate you from colleagues "either by physically away from the team, or even by excluding you meetings or communications".

"Get a duty to engage with colleagues and participate in work activities. Build a network within your organization to counter attempts to isolation," she suggests.


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