10 signs Your marriage is testing divorce, according to the therapists

These indicate a happy relationship for many years to come.


Although we all want to believe in the fairy tale, to say "I do" does not guarantee you and your partner will be in love with eternity. Marriage constantly requires work and as Adam Levine Once I said, "it's not always rainbow and butterflies, it's a compromise that takes us." Of course, you never know what life could start you, but if you see the following signs in your marriage, therapists say that your relationship is probably built to last. Continue to read for the main signs that your marriage is testing divorce.

In relation: 7 things that divorced people want to have done differently in their marriage .

1
You are both also dedicated to the relationship.

Smiling couple hugging one another looking out the window.
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If you and your partner are also invested in the relationship, it is an excellent sign that things will stay on the right track in your wedding.

This means having "an open dialogue, communicating openly and honestly and making compromises if necessary", " Sarah Watson , PsyD, certified coach and chief operating Bptlab tell Better life .

"Investing in your marriage is important because it allows you to develop a deeper understanding of each other, while strengthening confidence and communication. When spouses invest time in the relationship, they develop a feeling of security and their obligation is reinforced, "she says.

Even the best weddings requires work, but if the two parties are on board to do everything you need at your wedding to survive, you have already won half the battle.

2
You are good friends.

man and woman dancing in the kitchen
Inside Creative House / Shutterstock

Does your spouse know how to make you laugh? Do you like spending time together? Can you entrust to your partner? These are all qualities of a great friendship, which can be just as important as sexual chemistry. Although these butterflies can fade over the years, friendship can resist the test of time.

"When you and your spouse you consider other friends and you are able to transmit this feeling of friendship throughout your life, it is a panel to the test of divorce," said Suzanne Deges-White , LCPC, at Choose therapy . "Friendship requires mutual trust, honesty and support - all of this must also be in place for a romantic relationship to prosper."

In relation: 5 signs your relationship is directed to a "gray divorce", say the therapists .

3
You do not avoid conflicts with each other.

Couple holding hands at a table having a serious conversation.
Fizkes / Shutterstock

While arguing is never fun, being able to deal with uncomfortable moments with your partner is a good sign. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"It is important for you and your spouse to recognize that a certain amount of conflict or disagreement is inevitable, however, you do not hesitate to work together to find a way to go beyond the obstacle," explains Deges-White. "Debates, discussions and even arguments are tools to help you reach a shared understanding and you both work hard to fight."

When you or your partner avoid conflicts, it is a bad service to your relationship. Finding a way to be open and honest when you do not agree rather than silent and full of resentment is the key.

4
You recognize destructive behavior.

man and woman holdings hands at the table having a serious conversation
Fizkes / Shutterstock

Genesis D. Ettienne , approved mental health advisor and marriage and family therapist at Pritikin Longevity Center , Share that four destructive behaviors can break a marriage: criticism, defensive, contempt and clandestinity. However, recognizing these traits and putting work to overcome them is a sign that your relationship is testing divorce.

"Instead of resorting to criticism, strive to communicate your needs and your concerns in terms of empathy and respect. Practice active listening and validate the perspective of your partner, even if you are not Agreement ", explains Ettienne.

It is also natural to want to defend yourself, but Ettienne says that rather than becoming defensive, "take possession of your part in the conflict and approach discussions with openness and humility".

In relation: 8 "small but toxic" things to stop telling your partner, according to the therapists .

5
You and your partner manage the money well.

A senior couple planning their finance and paying bills while using a laptop at home.
istock

If you and your partner are ready to talk about your long -term financial goals and you are on the same wavelength of spending habits, it is a fantastic sign for your future.

"If you are aware of the income, accounts and expenses of each, it is a sign that your marriage will last," explains Robert Hinojosa , Lcsw at Choose therapy . "This means that there is no hidden purchases, and you have expectations on how you communicate on big purchases or other financial decisions."

Although this can be a difficult subject to navigate, to be In advance on your finances will not help you in the long term.

"It is important to be clear and to agree with who is responsible for certain parts of finance and to feel confidence and security in this aspect of the relationship," adds Hinojosa.

6
You have your own identities outside the relationship.

Woman in a blue shirt dancing to music.
Prostock-Studio / Shutterstock

Another sign that your marriage works well is when you feel sufficiently supported to explore your interests outside the relationship. You should be able to be independent, have an idea of your own identity and enjoy time by yourself or with your friends.

"You don't have to spend every moment of awakening together," explains Deges-White. "And although you can try some of your spouse's hobbies, you should want others to have space to engage in solo activities and not be overwhelmed by jealousy or suspicion of what Make your spouse when they are not with you. "

Of course, spending quality time with your partner is a key ingredient to operate a wedding, but it is just as important to be able to express yourself as an individual and not also as a partner or other half.

In relation: 5 arguments that could mean that it is time for couples therapy, say the experts in relation .

7
You communicate openly.

A couple talking on the sofa at home.
istock

Whether you feel happy or sad, exhausted or delighted, or something else, you must always offer yourself your partner.

"It doesn't matter whether the other party agrees or disagreeing, what is important is that you can communicate what you feel," said Amy Colton , a financial analyst certified in divorce, mediator of family law and founder of Your divorce was simple . She also underlines that once communication stops, resentment begins to build.

William C. Gentry ,, Divorce lawyer and author of I want to go out , adds that many marital problems come from the failure of communication. "Too many couples talk to each other without getting involved with the other person or worse, speaking of talking about important things completely," he said.

8
You and your partner are adaptable.

A couple moving a modern armchair in their living room
Shutterstock / Fizkes

Successful marriages often involve couples that can drive with the punches that throw them. "This includes flexibility in the management of unforeseen challenges and the ability to grow and evolve as an individual and as a couple," said Deborah Gilman , PHD, owner and authorized psychologist chief at Psychological services of the Fox Chapel .

Gilman advises couples to think about what big changes like losing a job or moving to a new place would look like marriage. "Their ability to adapt consists in supporting each other emotionally, reassessing objectives and planning in collaboration for the future," she explains.

In relation: How a "sleep divorce" can save your relationship, shows new research .

9
You want to spend time with each other.

A mature mand and woman looking at a map and pointing while traveling
Goodluz / Shutterstock

Whether you have been married for 10 or 50 years, wanting to spend quality time regularly together is essential. According to Gilman, this should include emotional and physical proximity.

There is also a difference between keeping appearances and really wanting to be in the company of the other. "A couple who prioritizes the nights of appointments or the weekend escapades to reconnect and feed their emotional and physical intimacy", is in the right place, explains Gilman.

10
You give yourself the grace.

couple sitting on the floor in their living room looking at each other and talking
Seventy-five / Shutterstock

No one expects marriage or life in general to be easy. But to treat your partner well and offer kindness even in the most difficult moments will help prosper the relationship.

Gentry stresses that his spouse does not always get the best version of their partner. "Sometimes the best action plan is to show your partner a little grace and not to react to a place of emotion and frustration," he advises.


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