January is famous "month of divorce" - here is how you can avoid it
Experts explain how the new year can make or undo your wedding.
The start of the new year is a chance for the new beginnings, but for many people, it also means an end. Over the years, the anecdotal evidence of lawyers and couples have shown that more people start divorce procedures in January that any other month, according to Ernesto Lira de la Rosa , PHD, under license clinical psychologist and media advisor of the Hope for Depression Research Foundation. Consequently, January was nicknamed the “month of divorce” by experts.
"Given the new year and the end of the holidays, it would be logical that some people start the divorce procedures during this month," said Lira de la Rosa. "Some people want to enter the new year with a new start and others may have had the holidays to reflect on their lives and realize that they are not happy in their respective relationships."
Kristyn Carmichael , A Approved divorce lawyer And a professional family mediator based in Arizona, confirms that the number of people who try their hand on divorce procedures increases considerably at the start of the year. But according to Carmichael, most separations (regardless of the time of year) are summed up at least one of the three reasons: finances, expectations and communication.
All these problems can be solved as long as the two partners are ready to do the work. So, instead of considering January as a justification to abandon your marriage, experts suggest treating this month as a chance to revitalize your relationship. Read more to discover four advice experts, say you can use to avoid falling into the divorce month trap.
In relation: 5 signs your marriage is testing divorce, according to the therapists .
1 Check with your partner.
The cracks in your relationship can start to rise to the surface after the holidays, according to Daniel Glazer , a London clinical psychologist and co-founder of American therapy rooms.
"Financial stress culminates after costly celebrations and cabin fever in the middle of winter," he warns. "This is the main storm for flickering relationships on the edge to finally implode."
But January actually presents the ideal chance of strengthening the foundations of your relationship with your significant other, rather than completely abandoning the scaffolding, according to Glazer.
"Use New Year's momentum to check the condition of your privacy and your alignment of priorities," he advises. "Have open conversations on what brings the joy of each partner and discuss management objectives as regular meeting nights to ensure that the two people in the relationship feel treated in 2024."
In relation: 5 signs your relationship is directed to a "gray divorce", say the therapists .
2 Revaluate your relationship.
These are not only the fun parts that you need to prioritize in January. In the past year, many of us may have undergone personal and professional changes that have created certain disturbances in the relationship, according to Lira de la Rosa. This could force you to "reassess the relationship" by uncomfortable conversations at the start of the new year. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
"Talk about the problems you might be afraid to discuss," he recommends. "Otherwise, it is common for couples to feel resentment when these problems are not solved."
In relation: 7 things that divorced people want to have done differently in their marriage .
3 Find new hobbies outside your wedding.
It may seem counterproductive to look outside your marriage to avoid separation. But Psychologist based in Philadelphia Lauren Napolitano , Psyd, tells Better life That couples who prioritize New Year's resolutions linked to the non-married bride could in fact improve their relationship overall.
"It seems to be an improbable solution, but putting your energy outside of your marriage tends to expand your social circle, which stimulates happiness," explains Napolitano. "This also reduces pressure on your spouse to meet all your relationship needs."
4 Look for couple advice.
If you have had problems with your spouse and plan to request the advice of a divorce lawyer, Kristal Desantis , Lmft, approved therapist and author of Strong: A guide in the field for modern man , suggest first of all to turn to an advisor.
According to Desantis, Couple therapy is often considered a "last effort to save a faulty relationship", but it can also be a good way to reset your relationship during the new year.
"It could mean registration for a retirement weekend of couples or structure your ... working hours to give time to several couple therapy sessions in a week," she shares.
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