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Winning an Oscar is undoubtedly a dream for many actors, but for Nicole Kidman , the reality to bring one home did not meet your expectations. For the new book 50 nights from the Oscars by Dave Karger , Kidman looked back Win your Oscars In 2003 and explained that she had not really appreciated the experience because of the state of her personal life. She was about a year and a half of her divorce Tom Cruise , and she told Karger that she had ended the greatest night in her career at that time, feeling extremely alone.

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"I was fighting with things in my personal life, but my professional life was going so well. This is what is going on, right?" Kidman said to Karger ( via People ) For his new book, which arrives on the shelves on January 23. Hours . She had been nominated for an Oscar for the first time the previous year red Mill ! and has since been nominated three times more, during Rabbit hole ,, Lion , And Ricardos .

Kidman said in the book that she had been pressed by pressures to go to the Vanity Fair Oscar Day, even if she was not "a big girl". She explained: "I literally entered, I wore [the price] around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, trembling, and I did not appreciate it. I was almost excused, which is so stupid. 'would have liked to be able to appreciate it more. "

After leaving the event, she returned to her hotel where she ordered a room service with her family. At this point, she also thought about what she was thinking of missing in her life.

"I sat on the floor of the hotel eating fries and a hamburger with my family and I went to bed," she said. "That's when it struck me. I went, I needed to find my love; I need a love in my life. Because it's supposed to be when you Go, "it's ours. "" Added Kidman, "I went to bed alone; I was in bed before midnight. If I ever won again, I tell you, I would be released 24 hours."

Kidman and Cruise have married for 11 years and share two children: B Ella Kidman Cruise , 31 years old, and Connor Cruise , 28. Two years after winning her Oscar, the star found the love she was looking for when she met Keith Urban In 2005. The actor and country music singer were married next year and now have two children together: Sunday Kidman Urban , 15 years old, and Urban Kidman Faith , 13.

In a 2017 interview on The late show ,, Kidman shared how to win two Emmys In 2017 - for an exceptional main actress in a limited series or film and an exceptional limited series (for her work as a producer) for Big little lies- differs from his Oscars victory.

"I must say that when I won my Oscar, I was not in an ideal place in my life. I had no partner with whom to share it. I was doing a little emotionally and personally," said Kidman . But, to win her Emmy and to celebrate with Urban, she said: "There is something incredible to go home and to go:" Baby! We did it! " And that's what we've done. "

She added: "I was so happy to win the two Emmys, because I have girls. And bring back to house one and say:" You have to divide that. "It was incredible to bring home two and to say:" You have each one. " »»

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