I am a psychologist and it is 5 direct signs that someone is a control partner

These red flags could point out a subtle form of abuse.


A common characteristic of toxic relations is a partner exercising excessive control over the other. However, in the early stages, it can be difficult to identify the signs of this serious but subtle relationship problem - not to mention escalation.

This is why we talked to Rod Mitchell , MC, MSC, a registered psychologist working with Calgary Emotions Clinic therapy . With vast experience in advice to authors and victims of partners' abuses, Mitchell says that there are five key panels to search for someone to be a control partner. "Recognizing these signs is crucial because they often precede more serious emotional or psychological manipulation," he said Better life.

You are wondering if you could be with a control partner - or that you could be One yourself? Read the rest for the best Mitchell red flags that could report a serious problem.

In relation: I am a psychologist and these are the 5 revealing signs that someone is a narcissist .

1
Excessive criticism and discount

Young Couple Arguing and Fighting
Gorodekoff / Istock

Mitchell says that the first red flag to monitor is a partner depreciating the other or being excessively critical of them. If your partner often makes you feel little or ashamed of yourself, your relationship has taken an unhealthy turn. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"A control partner often uses criticisms to undermine their partner's self-esteem," he explains. "It is not a question of constructive feedback; it is a question of ensuring that someone feels less, it is therefore easier to control. It is worrying because it can erode their feeling of self -esteem and independence over time. "

2
Isolation of friends and family

Unhappy Couple After an Argument in the Living Room at Home. Sad Pensive Young Girl Thinking of Relationships Problems Sitting on Sofa With Offended Boyfriend, Conflicts in Marriage,
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Your relationship with your partner should not prevent you from having excellent relationships with others. If this is the case, this can be a sign that your partner controls you by limiting your social life.

"When a partner starts to dictate who you can see or talk, it is an important warning sign," said Mitchell. "This behavior aims to limit your support network, which makes you more dependent on them. This isolation can be subtle at first but often increases over time."

3
Financial control

depressed man sitting on couch and looking away while his wife shouts at him holding credit card
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Being financially dependent on your partner makes it particularly difficult to implement the relationship. Unfortunately, many control partners are aware of this and use it to their advantage.

"Financial control can take many forms, to openly manage your expenses to more subtle means like making you feel guilty of expenses.", Explains Mitchell.

In relation: 7 red flags your partner lies on his finances .

4
Constant monitoring

girl holding mobile phone while laying on bed in a bedroom
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Some people also control their significant other by constantly monitoring their behavior. This can quickly create a distorted dynamic, that in which the controlled part submits to unreasonable expectations or requests.

"Whether it is incessant texts, to ask to know where will be, or even to install a location tracker on your phone, constant surveillance reflects a lack of confidence and a desire to keep an eye on all aspects of your life. This behavior is worrying because it shows a without taking into account your personal space and your autonomy, "warns Mitchell.

5
Make decisions on your behalf

Young couple arguing about bills or document at home kitchen
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Finally, Mitchell says that if someone regularly makes decisions for their partner - Big or Small - it could mean that there is an unhealthy power balance.

"When a partner regularly makes decisions for you, especially without your contribution, it is a sign of control," he explains. "It could range from small daily choices to important life decisions. It is a worrying behavior because it undermines your ability to make choices and can make you feel like a passenger in your own life."

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