7 red flags to monitor the first meeting
Recontent this second date if you observe one of these behaviors, says an expert.
No, it's not in your head: dating is more difficult in the post-pandemic world. "After spending too much time in isolation through the pandemic, I found that many of my male patients had lost basic social skills and many of my patients feel anxious in social circles. And although the two were impatient To return to the world and go in person rather than meet on the legion of meetings of meetings and connection that exist, they found themselves emerging in a radically modified world where in person feel strange and sometimes dangerous ", explain Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D. , author of Fragile power: why all this is never enough . One of his patients describes him as a "relational oddity". Fortunately, there are signs - AKA Red Flags - to monitor the first appointment.
1 Bad manners
If your appointment demonstrates in bad manners, run in the other direction, explains Dr. Hokemeyer. "Today more than ever, kindness and courtesy must have priority in our chaotic and divided world. If your appointment cannot interact with you or anyone in its orbit with bad ways or rudeness, it is is a red flag, they will do the same with you, "he said. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
2 Drinking too much
A first date is the only first impression they will never have. So if they get drunk on it, it could be a sign of what to expect in the future. "Of course, they could be nervous. Yes, they may have had a difficult day, but consuming too much alcohol is not a healthy way to face either," said Dr. Hokemeyer.
3 Acute vanity
If they seem self-obeyed on the first date, they are likely. "Perhaps a selfie or a request that you take a photo of them in their most flattering pose so that they can publish on Instagram is ok, but during a first date, I would be worried. The privacy is Based on vulnerability and not vanity. You want a partner who is capable of the first and which is limited in the second, ”explains Dr. Hokemeyer.
4 Spend time on the phone
If they spend more time interacting with other people on the phone than with you, be very worried. "Dating consists in using our seven senses to feel a potential companion. More than one stand overnight," said Dr. Hokemeyer.
5 Victimization
If your appointment takes place again and again in fashion "Whoa is me" and demonstrates a victim scheme, take note. "We have all had rotten and unfair things that happened to us, but we learn from the lessons and go to something else. If the story of the life of your date is a tragedy, watch. Avoid being a character in the Drama, "warns Dr. Hokemeyer.
6 Graniosity
Another red flag in dress or language. If they have too much self -confidence or demonstrate the slogan "Greed is good", you must reconsider a second date. This could work for politicians, but you really want this quality with a partner, questions Dr. Hokemeyer.
In relation: 2 alternatives which are just as beneficial as walking 10,000 steps
7 Be cheap
A first date is not the time to be cheap. "We all work hard for our money and we really want a companion who appreciates value, but the cheap is not that. In my work, I found that people who are stingy with money are also Avare, with an outfit and a manipulation with money, "said Dr. Hokemeyer. "If they complain about the cost of things or if they are rigid or are inexpensive to leave a gratuity for the staff, offer a permanent farewell on your date."
