Good Lifestyle

If the romance in your relationship is sparkling, it does not mean that the love story is over. "The novels are like hair heads. To be their most luxurious, full and shiny, they must be nourished and cut regularly," explains Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D. , author of Fragile power: why all this is never enough . As a relational therapist, he works with couples of all ages to "bring back the brilliance and life in relationships that have stagnated or atrophied", he explains. Over the years, he discovered that couples that develop and engage in some simple habits have a romantic life "which not only feels good, but also fantastic".

Do not wait until it is too late to work on your relationship. "Early intervention is the key," said Dr. Hokemeyer. "Couples who are starting to take care of their romance when they feel it best cool over time. My couples have been in weddings without sex for ten years. Although any relationship can be revived, the more the Disintegration has occurred, the longer the repair will be and longer. "

Sometimes everything you need are random acts of kindness to rejuvenate a relationship. "Romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery. It is based on a feeling of value. One of the most romantic things we can do for our partners is to do something nice and unexpected", explains Dr. Hokemeyer. "A woman said that the most romantic thing that her husband was doing for her is her laundry at unexpected moments during a month."

The size does not matter when it comes to showing your love. "Relationships stagnate and couples are stuck in unhealthy models thinking that they have to wait until the ideal moment to engage in a gesture of affection the size of reality TV," said Dr. Hokemeyer. "In doing so, they make the opportunities abundant to engage in micro-acts of affection. A 63-year-old husband with whom I worked with the most romantic thing that his 40-year-old wife did for him was kissing her at the top of her head when she walked when he was sitting in his lounge chair looking at his favorite sports team. "

Even if you may have seen your wife in this blouse 100 times, letting her know that you see her in it will feel it appreciated and loved, explains Dr. Hokemeyer. "The need to be seen is essential for human beings. We are entering this world which was to be seen and loved by our parents and although this need is transformed during our lives, this never disappears." AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

Also make sure you really listen to us. "Human beings must be heard by the people they love and who love them. Over the years, however, couples relocated. This is one of the main reasons why couples have been together for decades Always say, 'What?' In response to the comments of the other, "underlines Dr. Hokemeyer. "Be attentive to this and find more generous ways to ask your partner to repeat what he has just said." He tells the story of a woman telling him that her 45 -year -old husband changed to bark "what?" When he did not hear it for having at least tried to distinguish what he thought he said through statements such that "I think you said that Tom came tomorrow, but I'm not sure I have understood correctly . "