7 red flags your family members can take advantage of you
An expert in relation reveals the signs to watch, just in time for the holiday season.
The holidays are approaching, which means you will probably spend much more time with friends and family. Although there are many advantages to come together with dear beings, there are also some drawbacks: the family can be overwhelming and can easily cross personal limits. According to Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D. , author of Fragile power: why all this is never enough , you must be super vigilant on emotional limits in terms of family relationships. "Because our closest family members such as parents, brothers and sisters and children are genetically wired in us, it is often difficult for us to see objectively when we have left by the very people we think that We can make the most to have our best interests in the soul, "he explains. Here are the main red flags to look for.
1 They do not change and you end up allowing them
Although everyone needs a hand from time to time, but there is a huge difference between helping and activating, explains Dr. Hokemeyer. "While the first allows someone to change their lives for the best, allowing it to keep you and they trapped in the same bloody story," he said.
2 They take advantage of your generosity
Your generosity can turn around, explains Dr. Hokemeyer. "Despite your attempts to help, you must defend your actions when you can no longer maintain the level of help you provide or realize that help allows them to get stuck in their problems," he said. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB
3 You feel drained, anxious or depressed
If being with your family leaves you, you feel exhausted, anxious and depressed, it could be a sign that you have benefited. "If you have parents who have thought of filling you with a multitude of negative mood states, your body gives you important information. Pay attention to this and honor your personal well-being," said Dr. Hokemeyer .
4 Others tell you that you have benefited from
If many other people in your life tell you what you prefer not to hear - like a family member takes advantage of you - listen. "Of course, one or two people could have their own agenda and a personal resentment on one of the members of your family, but more than two? It is doubtful. If you have more than two people who tell you that one Member of the family takes advantage of you, pay attention to you, ”says Dr. Hokemeyer.
5 You are attacked
If you find yourself attacking irrationally or unfairly by the family member in question, you are probably benefited. "Parasitic people are masters in what is called the narcissistic cycle of abuse. Through it, they manipulate relationships where they use irrational anger towards you to change the dynamics of the power of relationships and make you feel obliged to Help them, "said Dr. Dr. Hokemeyer.
6 You are bombed love
If you are bombed, there could be a ulterior motive. "Another tactic than members of the Parasite family use to manipulate you to their advantage is known as the bombardment of love," explains Dr. Hokemeyer. "Thanks to this, they concentrate their graceful attention on you in a very intense and intoxicating way to manipulate you by thinking that you are the most important and friendly person in their world."
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7 You continue to set personal limits and allow people to break them
If you continue to say enough, only to give more, then you have taken advantage of it. "He feels crazy to enjoy, especially by people who are family members. Because it seems so crazy and because we are built so as not to feel crappy, we have easily dropped and relaxed our limits When we are emotionally manipulated by our flesh and blood, "explains Dr. Hokemeyer." Of course, we can all fall into unhealthy models with family members, but we can also learn to define and maintain clear limits , coherent and enforceable with them. "
