The "beige flags" are the new red flags - how to spot them in your relationship

Experts weigh on how they differ from red, yellow and green flags.


"It's a red flag "is a sentence that you could hear when you talk to your friends about a new new one. Although these are subjective according to your preferences and your needs in a relationship, most often, a major red flag is Enough to be total control. However, however, however., with "beige flags" - a new term which has become viral on Tiktok - this is not always the case.

“Red flags - these revolution problems that we want to notice and avoid - are often easy to spot once you know what to look for. However, beige flags - small defects or quirks that could be easy to neglect - can be problematic even if they are not obvious, "tests" clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly , PHD, author of Intelligent , tell Better life . "When we go out, we often notice the quirks of a person and the tenons to take in the overall equation. If it is not too strange, the small quirks of a person can even be engaging. However, however, If a person's quirks are perceived as strange or irritating, it is probably a beige flag. "

Experts have some suggestions to identify beige flags in your relationship - and what you need to do if you find that they are more worrying than cute. Read the rest if you want to know what to look for.

In relation: 5 red flags on emojis that your partner sends SMS, according to therapists .

There are a wide variety of potential beige flags.

Sangmeister abbey ,, Therapist and life coach , tell Better life These beige flags make you stop and say "HMM" on another person. You can take a break if you notice that they have a different routine or habits, but even if it can take you by surprise, it is not necessarily a bad thing.

"An example of beige flag could be something as simple as the person with a very specific way to fold their clothes, always need to put spicy sauce on everything, or always leave glasses of water water Almost empty empty, "says Sangmeister.

Other examples on Tiktok include a boyfriend who simultaneously Order two drinks at breakfast, a girlfriend who has Barely seen from films (even the famous), and a husband who goes through TSA Precheck without his wife at the airport.

Another Tiktker said that the beige flag of his boyfriend is that he Request the server That command "it doesn't matter how embarrassing or embarrassed when he asks" - and someone else shared that her husband's beige flag is that he is "so nonchalant and non -botré About everything "that he never asks any additional, often important details.

"His brother divorces his wife. Why? He never asked. His best friend obtained a new job. Where? He has no idea," reads the last video.

In relation: 6 red flags that come out the cheating, the therapists warn .

Beige flags are different from yellow flags.

quirky couple eating pizza
Adriaticfoto / Shutterstock

Red flags emit problems, and there are also green flags, which are indicators that you may have found the right partner. The beige and yellow flags are between these two ends of the spectrum - and they are not the same. The yellow flags, a bit like the yellow lights, are removed from the red flags, while Beige means something else. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Beige flags are these signs that do not feel good or pain but that have the feeling of being turned off, bizarre, eccentric, or something you are not sure. It is a yellow flag that needs No more attention, "says Sangmeister.

In relation: 10 red flags that you go out with a Gaspheghter, say the therapists .

They will differ in person and online.

Woman liking dating app profile on phone
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According to Beth Ribarksy , PHD, Interpersonal communication teacher At the University of Illinois Springfield, beige flags present differently depending on how you communicate.

"In face-to-face connections, this could include everything that could make you give your partner the lateral eye," she said, noting that there can also be a deeper reason for their actions. "He is bad to eat pizza with a fork and a knife? (Maybe they are particularly to keep their hands clean.) They always put a pillow when they sit down On a sofa or a chair? (Maybe they are aware of their belly.) He always licks outside their glass after having a sip? (Maybe they are afraid of Make a waste ... or maybe want to savor each drop of life.) "

However, with regard to online dating profiles or communication, a beige flag could be a dull profile or impersonal messages

"This could indicate a lack of energy, efforts or investment in the search for a partner or can indicate a lack of creativity," says Ribarsky. "Or, they could have only one photo, which could indicate the possibility of being a catfish or having something to hide. They should also make people a little more aware of this Let them put in their own profiles to avoid waving your beige flags. "

Trust your intestine when you think about how these quirks can have an impact on your relationship.

two women at home eating breakfast, partner chatting on mobile telephone. Young woman being ignored by her girlfriend and feeling jealous
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Sangmeister stresses that beige flags can also move to red, yellow or green - and if you notice this change, Manly recommends checking with yourself mentally and emotionally.

"You can spot beige flags in your relationship by taking an honest and without judgment look at how your intestine responds to the whims of another person," explains Manly. "If it is important not to judge others, it is important for us to be able to discern what we appreciate or that we do not like in the attitude, behavior and appearance of another person."

She continues: "When beige flags arise, we want to notice them without judgment; this helps us to take note of the reason why we find a certain trait or a little strange or embarrassing quality. By adopting this conscious and compassionate approach, We can honestly see if the problem would be annoying in the long term. "

In relation: 6 red flags your partner has a weak "emotional intelligence", say the therapists .

Act if you are afraid of turning into red flags.

couple arguing on the sofa in the living room.
istock

Manly uses the example of a strange laugh that you could possibly find charming, which is a happy ending for a beige flag. But these interesting resolutions do not occur in each relationship.

"Depending on your personality and experiences, you could also find some laugh so that it becomes a big problem," she said. "As another example, you may notice that a person is a bit eccentric when it comes to spending money. Just notice the beige flag to see if the behavior is just a little strange or if the person is stingy or stingy at the heart. "

Ribarsky also notes that these beige flags should not constantly occupy your thoughts. If this is the case, plan to speak to your partner and recognize that you could simply "not understand" how or why they have these behaviors. But beyond your own embarrassment, if you and your partner you dispute a beige flag - or you find that it really goes against your morality - so it has become a red flag, says Sangmeister.

Finally, Ribarsky plans that several beige flags can issue problems.

"If you find a parade of beige flags, it is probably a good sign, this potential partner does not suit you," she said. "You will finally spend too much time thinking about these flags than on the development of a solid base for your relationship. Or, if a beige flag suddenly gives you this Ick-Check factor, it's time to call it."

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