6 "polished" texts that you send which are in fact offensive

These common texts send the bad message.

Text messages are fast and practical, which allows us to stay in almost constant contact throughout the day. However, research shows that in doing so, we often miss non -verbal indices who really help us to understand us. "The texts, like the emails, are not delivered with the tone of the user, it is therefore up to the reader to apply one," explains Jules Hirst , founder of Label consultant . "Several times, the applied tone can lead to the interpretation of your informal as rude or aggressive text."

Actually, Albert Mehrabian , PhD, professor at the UCLA largely quoted for its Communication theories , determined that around 58% of the communication is transmitted through body language , 35% thanks to other clues such as tone, pitch and accent, and only seven percent thanks to the real words pronounced. It is therefore easy to see how you could eventually cause an offense or confusion when these non -verbal indices are absent.

Wondering which one of your texts can rush feathers without you realizing it? Read the rest to discover which six texts seem quite "polished", but are in fact offensive.

In relation: 6 "polished" things you do that are actually rude, say the label experts .

"K." or."

Man Walking and Texting

According to JDI RR Smith , founder of Consulting at the Mannersmith label , text messages are better used for simple logistics exchanges. "Because SMS are asynchronous and lack tone, it is ideal to exchange objective details," she said. Some examples include letting someone you have had known to meet them or nail the details of future plans.

However, on occasion, these short and apparently harmless notes can identify a aggressive passive Your - Even when the message transmits the agreement. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Although the text is supposed to be a quick and informal message, the answers to a single letter are a little too fast and informal," explains Hirst. "This can work for one of your friends, but you should not use it for business, especially with your boss or a customer. Write your answer, like" OK, thank you "or" it works for me " .

In relation: 5 red flags on emojis that your partner sends SMS, according to therapists .

"I don't know if you saw my last message ..."

woman at work looking at her phone
Shutterstock / Jacob Lund

If someone has left your text on "Read", you may think you give them an outing by sending a message like this. However, unless it is a chronic problem, Hirst says it is rude to draw attention to surveillance.

"Textos can be a quick shot. Sometimes messages are missed," she explains. "Asking if they saw your last message is arrogant and rude. Allow the person a little time to see your message and answer."

In relation: 10 "polis" compliments that you give that are actually offensive .

"Can I ask you a question?"

Let me find the location on my map

Another thing in Nix of your communication style is an unnecessary accumulation of your declaration or question. "If you have a question, ask it. You already have the number of the person - it is rude to drag it," says Hirst Better life. It is also an empty gesture - in most cases, the person at the reception will feel uncomfortable saying "no".

That said, even when you get directly to the heart of the question, the cover of your language can help temper the tone of your text, says Laura Windsor , founder of Laura Windsor Liquette & Protocol Academy . "Add an explanation, add more context, use softeners such as" in a way "," a kind of "or" a little ", she advises.

In relation: 7 Signs of body language which means that someone is lying, according to therapists and lawyers .

"Hey what's new?"

man texting and smiling
Istock / Moyo studio

For you, this text may look like an innocent way of checking a friend, but because the message lacks real content, it puts the burden on the other part to start the conversation. It can be perceived as rude or boring.

Sometimes the medium itself encourages such lazy communication, which is why Smith suggests branching. "SMS are not our only option and it is not always our best option - we have so much to connect," she said. Try to meet face to face, writing letters or cards, sitting to write a more complete email or spending time for a video call instead.

In relation: 7 Polished ways to divert coarse issues, label experts say .

"Can we talk?"

Young man sitting at home, feeling depressed and trying to contemplate bad news he is reading online using a smart phone

Some conversations are simply not intended for SMS. In particular, you must always speak in person or by phone if you think you may get an emotional response from the other person.

"Don't hide behind the text when you should really have a real conversation," said Smith. "These conversations include the break with another significant stable, providing critical comments or any kind of creative brainstorming."

In relation: 8 times, you have to stop apologizing, say the label experts .

Messages that lack a defined start or end.

Woman surfing the net while drinking coffee outdoors.
ISTOCK / Filastron

There are many ways to transmit your enthusiasm through the text, including reflected punctuation and emojis. However, Windsor says that you should also remember to start and end the conversations intentionally, to demonstrate that someone has your full attention while you are in communication.

"Whatever the message, if you do not use common courtesy - a greeting to start the message and a thank you or another courtesy when you have finished, the message you send will be rude (just like the interactions opposite- A while), "she advises.

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Categories: Smarter Living
Tags: Etiquette
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