The 10 main reasons why couples divorce, new data show

Consider it your control list for a healthy relationship.


As all those who have married it, relationships do a lot of work. Despite the best efforts and intentions of each, even the stronger relations can turn into a dangerous territory over time. Actually, 40% The first marriages end with an office of a divorce lawyer within 15 years - and this rate only increases subsequent marriages. To better understand this, Forbes Advisor ordered a recent survey of 1,000 divorced participants to discover what causes the most marital conflicts. Read the rest to learn the 10 main reasons why couples divorce and to hear an analysis of experts from each mental health professionals.

In relation: 5 signs your marriage is testing divorce, according to the therapists .

10
Opposite or legal values

young couple sitting on couch looking unhappy due to argument over infidelity or cheating
Fizkes / Shutterstock

No marriage is without conflict, but if you and your partner have a strong feeling of shared values or morals, these can help serve the foundation for a healthy resolution of conflicts. By being on the same wavelength on the things that matter most for you, you can build on this common ground and create a more stable base for your wedding.

Méredith Gras , MA, LMFT, an approved wedding and family therapist and co-founder and director of Nassau Wellness Marriage and Family Therapy , says that couples can find themselves in a "breakup scenario" when they fail to see each other on one or more important problems. By trying to find compromises, even on the things that care for you the most deeply - you can help avoid a marital crisis.

In relation: 7 things that divorced people want to have done differently in their marriage .

9
Marry too young

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Ten percent of the couples interviewed said they thought that too young marriage had contributed to their divorce.

"Marrying too young can lead to a divorce if the couple does not have enough time to know each other before jumping in marriage or realizing that their life and partnership ideas are incompatible," explains Gary Tucker , an approved psychotherapist with Mental Health .

Sometimes people who marry young people always get to know each other. "Marriage at a young age can mean that individuals have not fully matured or discovered their identity, resulting in changes that cause incompatibility over time," said Steve Carleton , LCSW, Caciii, clinical social worker and executive clinical director at Detoxification of Gallus .

However, much less couples get married young today, compared to past generations. In 2021, the national median age of the first marriage was 29.2 years old, which was an increase of 32% age since 1973, according to the American census office .

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8
Parental differences

Fighting couple with child
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Most parents are deeply careful about their children, which is why differences in parental styles can cause such difficult repair. Twenty percent of the couples interviewed said that friction on parental styles have paved the way for their divorce.

"Different parental styles can cause tensions and disagreements," said Bayu Prihandito , life coach and founder of Life Archite . He suggests looking for parenting courses that can help you find common ground between your parental approaches and practice an open dialogue to help align your parental philosophies.

In relation: 5 signs of body language which means that your partner wants to break, according to therapists .

7
Lack of commitment

how to dissolve your marriage
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Being not engaged in your relationship or ambivalent about your future can cause a range of problems for married couples. In fact, twenty-three percent of the couples interviewed said that a lack of commitment was the main cause of their divorce. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"The lack of commitment can manifest itself as an emotional distance or avoid responsibilities," explains Lindsey Ferris , MS, LMFTA, therapist and owner of group practice Talk about healing . "Couples must reaffirm their commitment to the relationship and set mutual objectives. Open communication on fears and concerns can help partners to approach all doubts or uncertainties . ""

In relation: 5 warning signs that your partner falls in love with you .

6
Financial stress

Young couple arguing about bills or document at home kitchen
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Finances can weigh heavily on a couple, especially when there are major differences in spending habits and financial objectives, explains Ferris. Twenty-four percent of couples said that their Magazine taken into account in their decision to divorce.

"Couples should create a budget, set financial objectives together and openly communicate on money issues. The search for financial advice or professional advice can also provide clarity and management," notes Ferris.

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5
Too much conflict

Angry millennial couple arguing shouting blaming each other of problem, frustrated husband and annoyed wife quarreling about bad marriage relationships, unhappy young family fighting at home concept
Istock / Fizkes

Thirty -one percent of divorced couples reported via the investigation that their relationship was filled with conflicts. Although disagreements are normal and healthy in a marriage, an atmosphere of constant disappearance and antagonism is sure to damage the fibers of your union.

"Too many conflicts can exhaust even the most resilient individuals, instilling the relationship with negativity," explains Carleton.

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4
Lack of privacy

Problems in family quarrel, uncomfortable, unhappy, worry, misunderstood, offended, jealousy, infidelity, conflict, awkward and other bad feelings cause to couple break up and ending relationship.
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Physical proximity and emotional intimacy help to distinguish romantic relationships from others from your life. Thirty -one percent of the couples questioned said that a lack of privacy was collapsing from their marriage.

"The lack of intimacy can lead to the deterioration of a relationship and finally to divorce," explains Connor Moss , LMFT, therapist with Pacific psychotherapy . "Intimacy not only includes sexual proximity, but also emotional connection, confidence, mutual respect and deep understanding."

Moss says that when an intimate connection is absent, the two partners can start to feel isolated and distant from each other. In the end, one or both partners tend to feel like distant friends instead of lovers .

"To solve this problem, effective communication is essential. Communicating clearly and effectively on your needs, your desires, your emotions and your interior thoughts reinforces a connection bridge and the intimacy between the partners," he said.

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3
Lack of compatibility

Unhappy lesbian couple sitting on sofa in living room
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Divorces caused by a lack of compatibility are often considered "faultless divorces" - a label that applied to 31% of divorced couples interviewed. According to the goldsmith, this most often happens when basic values, life objectives or non -negotiable needs are not aligned in the relationship.

"At some point, these become a roadblock, and if the partners are unable to make compromises, it becomes an approaching who can lead to divorce. For example, you cannot compromise and have half a half -Enfant ", she remarks.

In relation: 5 signs your relationship is directed to a "gray divorce", say the therapists .

2
Infidelity

Man cheating on his wife at a bar.
Baza Production / Shutterstock

Loyalty is a basic principle of most marriages, which is why infidelity is such a common reason for divorce. Thirty-four percent of the survey respondents said that a case played a role in their divorce.

"Infidelity compromises the foundation of marriage. It can break the emotional link between partners and damages", explains Najamah Davis , MSW, LCSW, a New Jersey base Therapist and advisor . "The injured spouse may find it difficult to feel betrayal, resentment and insecurity, which makes it difficult to repair the relationship."

However, Davis suggests that for certain couples, there may be a path to healing and sorry. "This does not mean to forget that infidelity has happened, but rather to free yourself from the burden of anger and resentment which can have a negative impact on your general well-being," she explains. "Another way to solve this problem is to ask for the help of a therapist: investing in therapy can provide a safe space for emotional healing and support to manage complex feelings and emotions."

In relation: 6 red flags that come out the cheating, the therapists warn .

1
Lack of family support

Young man settling conflict between mother and wife, family problems, quarrel
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Finally, the most common reason why people end their unions may surprise, because it lacks a lot of the drama associated with other causes of divorce. Forty-three percent of couples said that a lack of family support had contributed to their decision to stop.

"When a couple does not receive their family's necessary support, it creates a feeling of isolation," said Laura Wasser , a family law expert and head of the evolution of divorce to Divorce.com . "This lack of support system relaxes the relationship, which makes it difficult for the couple to resist challenges together."

By developing your links with your family and other support networks, you may also strengthen your link with your partner. In the event of an outright disapproval of your wedding, speaking with a therapist can help you start to repair some of the damage caused.

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