You can cheat and always have an excellent relationship, says a new survey

Will the exit become more acceptable?


When you cheat, does that make you a bad person? This is a subjective question to which no one could never answer definitively. But when you cheat, it makes you feel Like a bad person? Is always remorseful If they go out on their partner? The representations of the popular culture of films to the words of songs have made believe that many of us believe that cheaters are kissed with guilt, but a new study contradicts this common state of mind. This also demysizes the idea that people get lost because they are unhappy with their marriage. So, are cheaters really good people in happy relationships that just don't believe in monogamy? Continue reading to learn more.

Read this then: If your partner has these 4 qualities, he is more likely to be mistaken .

Married people who had expressed remorse.

Man cheating on his wife on the phone.
Andrey_popov / Shutterstock

A new Report on infidelity psychology Published in the journal Sexual behavior archives noted that "the married people who have business find them very satisfactory, express little remorse and believe that cheating did not harm their marriages otherwise in good health".

The main study of the study, Dylan Selterman , A Associate teaching teacher In the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Johns Hopkins University, says that the results dispute the traditional concepts that many of us have on infidelity that have been anchored in our brain of popular culture, especially from the point view of the cheater.

"In popular media, television shows and films and books, people who have business Have this intense moral guilt and we do not see that in this sample of participants, "said Selterman in a press release." The notes of satisfaction with business were sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction. And the feelings of regret were weak. These results paint a more complicated table of infidelity compared to what we thought we knew. ""

The study studied Ashley Madison users.

Woman hugging a man because they are just friends
Dropout

Selterman and his team of researchers from Western University in Ontario interviewed nearly 2,000 workers Ashley Madison Users, a website to facilitate extramarital affairs, before and after deceived on their spouses . Their objective was to "better understand the psychological experiences of those who seek and engage in extramarital affairs" - a continuation of previous research in Selterman.

"I have studied infidelity in romantic relationships for over 10 years," said Selterman Better life . "This particular study allowed me to follow certain unanswered questions of some of my past studies, such as what happens to people's relationships after having business."

In this study, questions were asked about the state of their marriage, why they wanted to have an affair and on their general well-being. They were generally of average age and almost 90% of men - so it is important to keep in mind that this data does not show how women feel when they have a connection (although 37.5% Active users of Ashley Madison are women). AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Since relatively few women have participated, it is not possible to make statistical comparisons with men because the figures are so biased," explains Selterman. "I would love to get more data on women."

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Cheating have reported high love levels for their partners.

Young couple drinking juice in a market, looking lovingly at each other
Renata Angerami / Istock

Having a big sex (or just having sex) the key to a loving marriage? According to this report: no. The majority of participants reported "high levels of love for their partners, but low levels of sexual satisfaction".

While popular culture can also make us believe that many people cheat because they are unhappy with their marriage, this survey concluded that sexual dissatisfaction was the most cited motivation have a matter .

According to the press release, "the fundamental problems of the relationship, such as lack of love or anger towards a spouse, were among the least cited reasons to want to cheat". Again, keep in mind that a majority of participants in this survey were men.

Half of the participants said they were not at all sexually active with their partners, which motivated them to get lost but did not affect their love for their spouse or their feelings with regard to the 'State of their marriage. More common motivations to have an affair were "the desire for independence and sexual variety".

But back to the main arrival of this investigation: having a happy wedding has not done that cheaters feel difficult to have a liaison. The researchers found that "participants generally pointed out that their business was very satisfactory both sexually and emotionally, and that they do not regret it".

The study does not take into account if the cheaters were "captured".

man caught cheating in bed

However, this investigation raises the question of whether participants who felt no regrets and always considered their happy marriage after cheating were captured after having this case.

Selterman said Better life that around 80% of the participants questioned said that their partners did not know that they were unfaithful. "It is possible that the feelings of regret of the participants are higher if their partners discovered it," he said. "Very few of our participants were" captured "by their partners".

When the partners knew infidelity, Selterman said "they agreed with this or had a kind of open relationship". This leaves only a small number of participants who were in "exclusive" relationships whose partners discovered their business.

Read this then: 6 red flags that come out the cheating, the therapists warn .

What does this imply for the future of monogamy?

A happy couple in their 50s enjoying a dinner date; the woman is smelling a rose
Inside Creative House / Shutterstock

We all know that marriage is not always easy: getting along with someone, seeing eyes and eyes, and only sleeping with one person for the rest of your life can be difficult. If you remove the sexual component from the equation, would it make it easier to remain easier in the long term? It seems that some participants in this survey - perhaps even the researchers - would agree. Or at least, they came to the conclusion that having a case "does not decrease the quality of relations or the satisfaction of lower life".

The results of this survey suggest that people do not have business Because something is wrong in the relationship. "Participants looked for business because they wanted new and exciting sexual experiences, or sometimes because they did not feel a strong commitment to their partners, rather than a need for emotional development", According to the report.

When asked if he thought that our infidelity and marriage ideas could change in the future, Selterman says that it is a possibility. "I think monogamy is very difficult and many people take it for granted," he explains. "It is possible that relations are more open, or become at the very least more" monogamish ". I think that people can be more forgiving in the infidelity of their partners in the future if they understand that this does not reflect an underlying problem in their weddings. "


Categories: Relationships
Tags: Cheating / Marriage
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