5 times, it is normal to snoop your partner, say the experts in relation

There are not many situations that qualify, but those who do it are serious.


If there is one thing that we know about relationships, it is that the peak is bad. If you use behavior, it means that you Do not trust your partner , and no quantity of scrolling through their text messages, hacking their social networks Or listen to their phone calls will change this. Thus, many experts in relation completely avoid espionage.

"If you ask yourself questions about your partner, the best thing to do is have a conversation," said marriage and family therapist Luis Maimoni , Lmft. "If you do not trust their disclosure, you do not trust your partner, and if you do not trust your partner after having attempted confidence, why are you still in the relationship? ""

But just because the entrusting does not mean that people do not. A Yougov investigation have found that almost one in five Americans had crossed the phone of his partner without authorization, and 73% did not regret it. If you decide to snoop, you will want to make sure it is for a good reason. Here, the experts in relation tell us the only times that it is normal to snoop around.

Read this then: 5 questions that your partner can ask if they cheat, the therapists say .

1
If they could hide financial errors.

A closeup of a player's pocket jack cards in a game of poker at a casino
Romantic studio / trigger

One case where it could be OK to search is if you think your partner hides a type of financial error or bad financial models that may have an impact on you.

"People sometimes hide things like excessive debt, game problems, secret credit cards or financial support for others without their partner's knowledge," said Sam Holmes , Related Advisor and Editor Feel and prosper . "These problems can cause confidence problems and Disagreements on money , impacting the stability and the future of the relationship. ""

However, before resorting to spying, you should have an honest conversation without blame on the problem.

"Say something like:" I noticed that we had a financial difficulty; Let's talk about it and find solutions together "", suggests Holmes. You should be able to clarify things without resorting to an invasion of privacy. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

2
If you are extremely concerned about their mental health.

Fight, divorce and depression with couple on sofa for conflict, therapy and mental health or marriage counseling. Sad, anxiety and stress with man and woman in living room for fail, crisis and angry
Person ISTOCKs

An emergency in mental health, such as anxiety, depression, drug addiction or a food disorder, could also justify espionage, especially if you have concerns for the safety of your partner.

"For example, if your partner has presented an erratic behavior or has a history of mental health problems, checking his online activity can be a way to make sure that he does not put himself in danger," said Holmes.

But before you do this, you will want to talk about things again. "Express your observations without judgment and let them know that you are there to support them unconditionally," said Holmes.

You can also encourage them to ask for professional help or help them find a therapist or other relevant expert.

Read this then: 5 red flags on emojis that your partner sends SMS, according to therapists .

3
If you fear that one of his knowledge has bad intentions.

angry white man talking to doctor
Dropout

If you think someone in your partner's life can be harmful, it may be normal to snoop.

"There are a lot of examples to talk about here," said Marta de la Cruz , A approved clinical psychologist . Some of the most common she sees are parents and distant brothers and sisters who come out of the woodwork and claim to have positive intentions when they really need something (generally money, known as Cruz). There are also cases of competitive colleagues with plans to sabotage people's work.

"If you think that such a person is in the life of your partner and that puts them in danger, it could be normal to spy a little," said Cruz. "You just want to check if something fish happens and protect your partner."

4
If you suspect drug addiction or self -control.

pale ale beer
istock

"If you are really worried about your safety or that of your partner, as if there is drug addiction, self -control or illegal activities involved, espionage could be worth it," said Tina Fey , expert in relation and founder of Love connection .

"Whether it is bad or not, given the circumstances, it is a question of debate, but if you decide to search, that does not make you a horrible person, just an incredibly worried person - you are only human , after all, "Fey adds.

Although this situation can potentially justify espionage, you will first want to exhaust all other options.

"Unless it is an emergency, still cautious before taking matters into your own hands," said Fey. "Consider obtaining professionals or their closest friends and the family involved to help you ... to tackle the situation."

In this way, you can reach a solution without invading their privacy.

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5
If you think they cheat ... and have told them about it.

Man cheating on his wife on the phone.
Andrey_popov / Shutterstock

One of the main reasons why people in the organ are because they suspect their The cheating partner on them. In these cases, Fey suggests talking about it openly.

"If this does not work, you could consider espionage as a last resort, but remember, hope alone will not solve confidence problems - it could even worsen things," explains Fey.

Be honest about your concerns and insecurities. If it turns out that your partner East The cheating, so they can provide you with the same honesty so that you can each decide how to move forward.


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