5 times, it is normal to lie to your partner, according to the therapists

Sometimes white lies or omission lies are actually better for your relationship.


If there is a rule that we have known since we were children, it is because the lie is bad. And now that we are involved in ours adult relationships , we know that it is doubly true. However, according to therapists, there are a few cases where it is normal to lie to your partner.

"Lies exist on a spectrum that ranges from fairly harmless omission to intentional deception with an intention to harm the other person," explains the expert in relation Barbie Adler , founder and president of Luxury Matchmaking Service Selective research . "In relationships, you want to stay as close as possible on the harmless side, because confidence and empathy are the foundations of healthy relationships and lies can be attached to these foundations."

To find out more, continue to read to hear additional experts on the few cases where the truth is not the best option.

Read this then: 7 Signs of body language which means that someone is lying, according to therapists and lawyers .

1
When you need intimacy.

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There is no rule that says your partner must be aware of All This happens in your life, and sometimes it is normal to keep things private.

"Mental health challenges, past experiences, financial information or details on previous relations can be all the questions you want to keep private," said David Tzall , Psyd, a approved psychologist Based in Brooklyn. "These problems can be sensitive and may require time and confidence to discuss openly and honestly with your partner."

However, Tzall notes that these "lies" should not involve your partner with errors. Instead, they are a border that you set in what you are willing to share or comfortable. If you feel guilty of everything you remember, you may want to examine the cause of this guilt. A therapist can provide advice.

2
When you could hurt their feelings.

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In most cases, lie to protect are harmless. "There may be times when your partner asks for your opinion on something, like a new outfit or a haircut, and you don't particularly like it," said Amira Martin , LCSW-R, founder of Amira for her Therapy group. "In such situations, it may be acceptable to say to a white lie to avoid harming the feelings of your partner."

However, you will also want to balance being honest and delicate to avoid breaking your partner's confidence or harming their feelings.

Read this then: The 6 words that you should "never" tell your partner, according to a therapist .

3
When you protect them.

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In addition to avoiding hurting their feelings, you can also see that a omission lie is necessary to protect their feelings.

"If they would not win anything by knowing the truth about the situation, as, for example, if you heard someone they do not know how to say something bad about them - and their feelings would be spared by a White lie, it may be better to omit to tell the truth, "shares Adler.

However, it is also a fine line. "A fairly reliable test is to ask if you lie to protect them or to protect yourself," advises Adler. "If you only lie to protect yourself, there is a chance that the lie is more serious and harmful than you think."

4
When you maintain confidentiality.

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Maybe a friend told you that her husband had an affair and swore to you secret. Or maybe a family member has shared a dark medical diagnosis that he does not yet want the rest of the family to know. In these cases, you may have no choice but to lie to your partner to maintain the confidentiality of the other person. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"In such situations, try to weigh the potential damage that the revelation of the information could cause in relation to the value of honesty in your relationship," suggests Laura Wasser , an expert in relation and head of the evolution of divorce to Divorce.com .

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5
When you plan a surprise.

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An exciting gift or a surprise party is also a-on to keep a secret.

"If your partner has mentioned wanting something and you decide to buy it as a surprise, there may be times when it is better not to tell him what you do," said Joni Ogle , LCSW, CSAT, approved social worker and CEO of Height treatment . "Keeping the secret will only increase the joy that your partner feels when he receives his surprise."

Of course, if the gift does not fall under predefined financial borders in your relationship, you will first want to discuss it. This rule also applies to surprise parties - they are good to keep a secret as long as your partner has expressed his interest in them.

At the end of the day, if you don't know if you should lie to your partner or not, Adler advises you to ask you what you would feel if they have lied to you on the same thing.

"The introduction of double standards into a relationship is one of the fastest ways to erode confidence and mutual understanding, therefore engaging in this type of empathetic exercise is absolutely critical," explains Adler. "These types of questions can be difficult to ask you, but they help prevent many more difficult conversations to take place on the road."


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