5 things your partner says it means it's time to advise

These verbal signs indicate that there are problems in the relationship.


Many people can feel blinded by a breakup , but they often do not come without at least a few warning signs. In fact, most relationships do not end in the first fight Or after one bad time. Instead, they tend to decompose slowly over time as a result of unresolved problems and accumulate resentment. So, before things really go south, there is generally a chance to identify and correct the problems, ideally with the help of an advisor. The key, according to the expert of therapists and the relationships with whom we have spoken, is really to listen to what your significant other says. Read the rest to discover the five things that your partner says that it means that it is time to advise.

Read this then: 5 signs that your partner does not trust you, according to the therapists .

1
"It looks like we are just friends instead of partners."

A couple talking on the sofa at home. A young man and woman having a serious discussion on the couch
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The early stages of a relationship tend to feel fun and effortless, but the honeymoon phase does not last forever. "After a while in a relationship, things can feel victims and trivial," said Jennifer Kelman , LCSW, a mental health expert and license psychotherapist on Justanswer. "People are busy and it can be difficult to maintain the connection and romance alive, which makes things feel more like a friendship rather than a romantic and intimate relationship."

But it is not always a sign of faded or lost love - instead, the routine of the relationship could simply make things feel lively. "Therapy can help if the two people are ready to work to put things on the right track. Advice can help reconnect the couple to each other and their individual feelings," said Kelman. "But things can be a little more complicated if the couple has waited too long before asking for help because if they did, it could be too late to rekindle the spark."

2
"We are no longer talking."

couple with growing resentment
Prostock-Studio / Shutterstock

Communication is important in any relationship. If your partner has the impression that the conversation line has broken down, it is a clear sign of problems, according to Kelman. "Without a healthy communication, there is no relationship," she warns. But that does not necessarily mean that there must be total silence between you and your significant other so that there is a problem with your communication.

"It is not enough to talk about the day, each person must be able to express what they feel things," explains Kelman. "Sometimes, without the help of a therapist, couples can be locked in bad communication styles that do not allow the expression of feelings."

3
"I don't feel heard or understood by you."

couple feeling displeased while having relationship problems at home.
istock

But do not presume that everything is going well simply because you and your partner talk about your emotions and to have deeper discussions. If they say that they "do not feel heard or understood by you" when you speak, they may have the impression that what they tell you is to go in one ear and the other.

"This may indicate that the partner has the impression that their concerns and feelings are not taken into account," explains Kerry Lauders , a mental health worker At startups anonymous.

David Tzall , Psyd, a approved psychologist Based in New York, says that it could also indicate that your significant other "does not feel valued or respected" in your relationship.

External aid could solve these problems by improving your communication. "Advice can help by providing objective and neutral space for a couple to explore and understand their feelings, their thoughts and their behavior," explains Tzall. "An advisor can help facilitate open and honest communication, provide tools and strategies to resolve conflicts and establish a stronger and more fulfilling relationship."

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4
"Yes, I did that because you did ..."

Young man in bed looking at his boyfriend and explaining, using hand gesture, LGBT break up
istock

It is normal for couples to fight from time to time, but if you do not "effectively resolve conflicts", it could have the impression that "the relationship becomes more and more controversial", according to Lauders.

It could be because you have been stuck in an endless blame battle. Lee Phillips , LCSW, a psychotherapist and Certified couples therapist , recount Better life That you should consider asking for advice if your partner begins to excuse the things they have done by saying something in the sense of "yes, I did it because you did it ..."

"The reason for which a partner can tell you this is because he does not want to appropriate for his own behavior," he explains. "There is the possibility that they are angry with you if there were marital or relational problems in the past that are not resolved. If you are both looking for advice together, they can help reduce conflict by providing A safe space to hear, validate and sympathize with what you are experiencing in your current relationship dynamic. "

5
"I'm not happy in this relationship."

Shot of a young couple looking stressed out while working on their budget at home
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Your significant other may not always beat in the bush with regard to the problems built in your relationship. Instead, they can choose to make them feel very clear. If your partner tells you directly that he is unhappy with you or your relationship, it should put you in "high alert" immediately, Nancy Landrum , Ma, author, relational coach and creator of Millionaire wedding club , recount Better life .

"People rarely say something like that until they are at the end of their rope," warns Landrum. "Immediately find an advisor or a relationship coach that can help you identify what is missing and what to do on this."


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