Thinking about your ex can improve your current relationship, demands of new studies

Do not fight if you remember an old partner - it can actually be beneficial.


Raise an ex is generally a non-no relationship. For the most part, it is best to keep the past in the past and move forward with your current partner. But according to the results of a recent study, thinking About your ex may not be detrimental. In fact, this can even improve your relationship. Read the rest to discover what the researchers found during the study of old flames and why you should not feel too guilty to remember.

Read this then: 5 things you don't send to send sms to your partner that therapists say you should be .

Previous studies have highlighted the negative impacts that an ex can have on your relationship.

Couple arguing in a cafe, parent divorce
Whisper

When you hear the mention of the ex of a partner, it can trigger unpleasant feelings or even throes of jealousy, and vice versa when your ex is high. The researchers examined why ex are such a painful place and how they create relational rockets, even when they are no longer in the photo.

A 2012 study revealed that " increased desire “For recent former fellows have led to a drop in relationships over time, and that the resolution of feelings for your more recent ex can maximize the potential of a new relationship.

Direct contact With an ex makes things a little more complicated, because a 2016 study concluded that communication with an old flame (in certain circumstances) can have harmful effects on a current partnership.

But a new study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology In October took a different look In former romantic partners and how they affect current relationships - focus on "potential positive influence".

Thinking about good memories of an ex had surprising results.

Woman looking at photos
Whisper

To determine how a past relationship could strengthen a current connection, psychologists from the University of Kansas have conducted three experiences, including a total of 167 volunteers , according to Daily mail . The study participants were not invited to reach out to an ex, but they were rather invited to think about a past relationship, focusing on "nostalgic memories". AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

The participants were invited to evoke these memories after reading blog articles written on the past relationships of foreigners. The researchers then asked volunteers to satisfy their relationship, the love they felt towards their current partner and the motivation they were to remain in the relationship.

Interestingly, reflecting on memories with an ex-improvement in the feelings of the participants in the three areas. "Good nostalgic memories of past relationships remind people the positivity of romantic relationships," wrote researchers in the study, according to the Daily mail . "We found that this has led to an increase in the perceived quality of current partnerships."

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Participants were also invited to do self-reflection.

happy male couple
Ufabizphoto / Shutterstock

Who did not look back and said to himself, "Wow, I can't believe I did it", or "I can't believe I went out with this person"? We grow and learn all, and when you recognize this progress, it is natural to feel more confident in your decisions. This is exactly why the researchers of this study also evaluated how people felt that they had changed since their last partner.

In the study, self-growth has been identified as a "potential underlying mechanism" for the positive effects of nostalgic memories of an ex. The researchers studied this by asking volunteers to know how much they thought they had grown up after leaving their previous relationship. It turns out that self-growth was linked, because the volunteers who felt more mature reported an increased appreciation of their current partner and a motivation more to maintain the relationship.

That being said, the study was not without its limits, because reflection on a rupture can be very difficult for some. "These memories can be triggered by the song or the favorite film of a former lover," wrote researchers by Daily mail . "But if the breakdown of the previous relationship was too painful, people can resist recalling nostalgic memories."

Different forms of nostalgia can be useful for relationships.

couple toasting on the beach
Mavo / Shutterstock

This is not the first time that nostalgia has been identified as a means of improving the quality of the relationship. In January 2022, a study entitled " Romantic nostalgia As a resource for healthy relationships "was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relations . The authors of the study wrote that nostalgia, in general, has psychological advantages, but there had not been many studies that examined the romantic form.

The researchers have defined romantic nostalgia as past experiences shared with a current partner - it is therefore a little different than to think of memories with an ex. However, the experts found that when people remembered past experiences with their partner, it was associated with a "greater relational commitment, satisfaction and proximity".


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