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In the past decade, there have been calendars and greeting cards that float around this presence of sexy and shirtless men making household chores such as vacuum cleaner or washing. The idea is that men participating in Simple national acts Will light women more than their six packs. Sexual attraction is directly linked to household work - and this can be for a good reason.

Although these images can strengthen unhealthy gender stereotypes, there is a certain truth in the notion that men make tasks are sexually attractive. According to a new study published in the Sexual behavior archives , women feel Less sexual desire To their husbands, when men do not make their fair share of domestic work. This gender role leads women to consider their husbands as dependent and, therefore, less desirable.

If you are surprised that this dynamic always takes place in the 21st century, read the continuation to find out more about the reasons why so many heterosexual couples fall into this model, and what therapists say can even help the workload and improve Your sex life.

Read this then: Couples who do not do this together have more unhappy weddings, the new data show .

As much as perhaps the days of June Cleaver with pearls while she prepares dinner, but in many heterosexual couples today, women do even more household work than their husbands. The big difference is now that many of these women also have jobs outside the house.

"I work with women who are family supports, who work the most hours in the house, and who still perform 80 to 90% of daycare and child care", Share Naturopath sexologist and doctor Jordin Wiggins , Nd.

In fact, in August 2022, the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) published data that said that women spend an average of 47 minutes per day on household work than men. It is a supplement of five and a half per week and, as The Washington Post explained: "This does not include childcare, grocery store or races, that BLS class in other categories And whose women also make it much more. ""

Even in households where humans are gaining weight, it is likely that his responsibilities are limited to certain areas.

In 2019, the GALLUP data and surveys interviewed more than 3,000 heterosexual or cohabitants married adults on which was most likely to Perform certain household chores . The study revealed that women were mainly responsible for laundry, cooking and cleaning, while men managed the garden work and the maintenance of cars.

Nancy Landrum , Ma, author and Relationship coach , says that another common dynamic is when a husband Is Do household work, but his wife considers him as lower.

"My husband vacuum cleaner for me because he aggravated my evil. At first, I underlined what he had missed," shares Landrum. "I caught up, however, and I realized that if I wanted him to be happy to make this chore, I would better be happy that it is done, without criticizing the way he did it!"

In many relationships, it is the mental pressure of being responsible for the household which can become overwhelming.

"Even in the relations which outside, it seems that the tasks are divided 50-50, when you advance further, most of the women with whom I work will always wear the role of" manager "at home", explains Wiggins. "It looks like a household where the husband does the act of grocery store, but the woman wrote the list, searched for sales, planned meals and said to the husband when going."

Read this then: Having this in common makes you "more sexually satisfied" by a partner, says a new study .

As indicated in Psychost, the Sexual behavior archives Study "collected data from Over 700 women In partnership with men who have also had children. "The results have indicated that despite a common hypothesis that the decrease in the libido of a woman is generally biological, the interpersonal factors can cause the decline in desire - believing that the division of household labor is unjustly balanced and, thus,, Perceiving his partner as dependent. The study calls this "the theory of heteronormativity of weak desire in women in partnership with men". AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

The study participants received a list of 109 household chores and asked to note if they or their husbands have generally completed the task and how this global division of labor made them feel. The study concluded that "women who declared that they have carried out a large part of the household labor compared to their partner were much more likely to perceive their partners as dependent on their desire function for their partner. ""

In addition, the aforementioned mental tension plays a big role. “Women often share with me that the feelings they experience that contribute to a lack of sexual desire are: exhaustion, frustration, anger or resentment. These feelings are a response from the nervous system saying to the body to engage in the "fight or the flight" no "rest and digest," "explains Katie Lorz , LMHC, trauma and Relationship therapist With HGCM therapy in Tacoma, Washington. "When the body is in combat or flight mode, sexual training decreases, and creativity and pleasure become low priorities."

By going a little further, this iniquity can also "lead to a blur of mother and partner roles, and this feeling as the mother of a partner is not conducive to desire", according to the study.

Wiggins explains this dynamic as a model of overfunction. "A person becomes the too great, who provides in advance, control and delegates, while the other person becomes passive, waiting to say what to do," she explains. "This leads to many non-sexy models, such as passive and passive aggressive communication and avoidance."

When a woman is in the role of too much, she feels responsible for herself, for her husband and children. "Women have the impression of being 100% on the ball all the time when things will collapse. They are in a state of constant stress and reflection," adds Wiggins.

Stress, of course, affects its libido. And a setback, if a man feels that he is treated like a child, he is also less likely to be in mood.

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Even in couples where the husband does not also contribute to household work, there are healthy ways to solve the problem.

Nancy Landrum , Ma, author and Relationship coach , emphasizes that the root of the problem is resentment, and no matter what this negative emotion is linked, it is likely to reduce sexual desire in women and men. "If the two partners work full time, and yet we carry the share of the lion of the household work, it could naturally lead to resentment," she said.

To remedy this, Landrum suggests having a qualified discussion, "a conversation with rules or directives that give two people a chance to speak and be heard by taking turns".

She explains that a qualified discussion can go something like this: "We could say:" I feel a resentment when we both put a full day at our work, but I continue to work after my return while you play Got video games. "The partner would repeat what had been said to the speaker. They exchange places. The partner says:" I'm sorry that you felt full resentment. I thought we had agreed that I could relax with a game For about 30 minutes before me. D Start taking care of the laundry. '"

Wiggins adopts a more practical approach. She notes that, in many cases, these gender roles have been modeled for generations, she prefers to focus on "the creation of pleasure and intimacy in long -term relationships, since these roles exist".

Perhaps a couple can reserve on Sunday evening for sex when the stress of the household work of the week has not yet settled. Or maybe the husband can offer to take children to the movies one night a week so that the woman can recharge and feel more relaxed and in mood.

In any case, however, Wiggins warns against the use of sex as a transaction in a counter one. "Waiting for sex as a repayment or reward is not sexy and makes women less like sex," she said.