49 percent of you fell in love with someone you were not initially attracted, a new study said

You can ignore these instant judgments.


Throughout your meeting story, you have probably had Several first dates You felt "Meh". Maybe you cut things after this first meeting, or the other person felt in the same incompatible way and ghost . However, if you have continued with date number two, you may have noticed that your feelings change after spending more time together. Although you may not have been instantly in love, you may have experienced an increased empathy, understanding and proximity. And according to a new study, it could be a solid basis for a solid relationship. Read the rest to discover what this investigation revealed, in addition, the thought of a psychologist on the subject.

Read this then: The 5 main signs that you have found the love of your life, according to experts in relation .

A recent study discovered something interesting on the initial attraction.

young couple on a date
ISTOC / ND3000

Each year, the match leads a Study of singles in America To learn the latest trends and realities of meetings. The study covers everything, types of dates that people prefer (this year, he found that 84% of singles say that they promote occasional dates at dinner and wine) to their opening to a long distance relationship ( 53% of people said they were this year, compared to 34% last year).

One of the most interesting results of the survey was the flexibility of people's responses to the initial attraction. According to the study, 49% of people fell in love with someone to whom they were not initially attracted. This has increased by 38% in the past decade.

The first impressions depend on various factors.

couple on their first date having a picnic in the park
Shutterstock / Rosshelen

According to David Tzall , Psyd, a approved psychologist Based in Brooklyn, the match conclusions are not unexpected. "The first impressions are somehow a mixed bag," he said. "We often make some rapid and imprecise imprecates from someone on the basis of many different factors."

Often, unconscious biases come into play, some of which are positive and negative. "We can have first positive impressions because of something outside, like the way someone dresses or the color of their hair, and we can have negative impressions for these same reasons," added -he. "There is a name for this, and it is confirmation bias, which is the tendency to seek, interpret, promote and recall information in a way that confirms or supports our previous attitudes or value."

Interestingly, Tzall notes that these first impressions can be durable and difficult to reverse, especially when they are negative biased.

Read this then: 5 signs of body language which means that someone is attracted to you, according to the therapists .

The attraction can grow and shrink.

Couple having dinner at a restaurant
Whisper

So can it grow? Tzall says yes. (And get this: he also says that it can also shrink.)

"The attraction can grow for many reasons, and it is best to be open to any experience because we never know what we are missing," says Tzall. "The attraction can grow after the person sees how you treat your family, or how you talk about your passions, or when you comfort them when stressed." The more connected you become, the more the attraction can increase, both in the emotional and physical fields. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

Do this to increase the attraction.

couple at a cooking class
Whisper

If you meet someone who interests you but you are not entirely attracted, there are a few things you can do to stimulate proximity.

First, Tzall suggests speaking openly and deeply. "There can be a tendency to speak more superficially at the start of the relationship because you both feel each other and are afraid of being vulnerable," he said. "The faster you develop a back and forth report, the more your attraction will probably rush."

While you do this, you should also plan dates outside the house with experiences that are new to both of you. Tzall explains that this allows you to do something new together, which can create memories and an attraction. "This also throws the other person, and all the walls they built will collapse more quickly," he said.

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Know when to cut things.

couple dealing with cheating
Tero Vesalainen / Shutterstock

Although you want to give a potential partner a chance, you don't want to waste your time on a relationship that is not just nowhere. Tzall says that three to five dates should be sufficient to increase the attraction or establish that this will never arise.

"The first two dates can be filled with discomfort or anxiety, and you may not live the real person," he said. "At the third or fourth date, you are more comfortable and able to make a decision based on emotions and rational thought rather than on an impulsive only motivated by emotions." Obviously, this does not apply if the person Show major red flags on the first date. In this case, give them the start immediately.

If you still don't feel things after five date, you may want to reduce your losses. "All relationships will not work and all couples will not have organic chemistry and attraction," explains Tzall. "Although this can be built over time, it is important to know that more relationships will not work that the fact and it is healthy to leave when you feel like there is no compatibility."


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