"Toxic positivity" is a problem, say the therapists - here is how to spot it in your life

Declarations like "look at the right side" can invalidate your feelings and those of others.


We were all told at some point to "remain positive" in life. Maintain a good attitude and have the faith that things will work may be a productive state of mind , keep unnecessary worries in check. But there are cases where this way of thinking becomes harmful to your mental health. Experts have nicknamed it "toxic positivity", which you will want to do your best to avoid.

"Toxic positivity is the belief that people should make a positive turn on all experiences, despite their emotional pain or their difficult circumstances", " Holly Schiff , Psyd, a approved clinical psychologist Based in Greenwich, Connecticut, says Better life . "The problem with this is that he can silence negative emotions, invalidate sorrow or loss, and make people feel under pressure to be happy even when they struggle."

Especially for those who go through difficult moments, toxic positivity can limit its ability to share "authentic and authentic emotions", due to the fear that they are rejected and have said that they should be happy in place, explains Schiff. As life is not always perfect, experts say it is crucial to recognize the signs of this unhealthy model, both internally and externally. Read the rest to discover four ways that therapists say you see toxic positivity in your life - and how to avoid it.

Read this then: 8 "small but toxic" things to stop telling your partner, according to the therapists .

1
Pay attention to your reflection process.

man deep in thought
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If you find that you hide your real emotions and that you tend to avoid your problems - or if you notice that you do it with others, you may be affected by toxic positivity. This is why it is so vital to assess your reflection process and make sure that you do not limit yourself or fail to face reality, according to Billy Roberts , Lisw-s, therapist and owner of ADHD advice of the concentrated mind .

"There are moments in the life when being positive helps, but when the state of mind eco-plating real feelings, it can be a problem," he explains. In this case, Abby Wilson ,, LCSW and Psychotherapist , suggests contesting your belief system.

"To avoid toxic positivity, I recommend being attentive to all the thoughts that say that you should" recover "or" simply focus on the positive "", she says. "Sometimes focusing on the positive can lead to positive emotions, but we want to have a healthy balance of recognition of the positive and maintain space for the negative if necessary."

Even more, treat all your feelings, in particular sad or painful - as you would for an appreciated relationship.

"In a sense, we are all related to our feelings," explains Roberts. "Similar to relationships with people, if we invalidate and ignore them, the relationship is tense. On the other hand, if we validate, recognize them and support them, the relationship is often improving."

2
Recognize when someone else projects toxic positivity.

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Just as it is important to recognize if you strengthen a toxic state of mind on yourself, you must be aware of those around you who perpetuate this idea. It is friends or family members who often tell you to "look at the right side" when something unhappy happens or "just be happy" in general. They can really believe that they encourage you to be optimistic, but in reality it can make you feel worse.

"Those who leave you guilty, shameful or invalidated when you dispute it tend to believe in toxic positivity," Sam Holmes , editor -in -chief of the relationship and personal development website Feel and prosper , said. "So that their beliefs do not affect your inner world, limit your interactions."

If you know that someone is unlikely to be receptive to your thoughts and feelings, it is probably not the best person to confide. However, if someone rejects you unexpectedly, Wilson suggests being direct.

"If someone else projects toxic positivity on you, a good answer could be" I really think I need to treat what I live before trying to look at the right side of things, "said she.

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3
Understand that your emotions are normal.

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We all respond differently to difficulties and difficult, but if you deny or ignore your associated feelings in order to keep a flawless state of mind, you do more harm than good.

“As human beings, it is quite natural to feel sorrow, sadness, loneliness, anger, etc. We must be able to maintain space for these emotions, to express them and to treat them in a healthy manner (including with other people), and to receive empathy and validation in return, "said Wilson. "The consideration of these emotions as unacceptable does not allow the necessary space to treat them in a healthy way."

Schiff also highlights the importance of recognizing your emotions rather than deleting them. "Remember that everything you feel is correct and completely normal," she said. "Being healthy means managing and understanding all your feelings - both good and bad."

The emotions are complicated and you can feel several at a time, she adds. Anyway, being "realistic" and understanding that you are not mistaken to feel a certain way is essential.

4
Take a break in social media.

scrolling on social media
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Social media quickly became part of daily life for so many of us. We use it to share life updates, interact with friends or just scroll through time. But toxic positivity also tends to occur here, where there are whole accounts that encourage you to think positively or to "stay strong" if you live something. AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

According to the Betterhel Mental Health Platform, toxic positivity is difficult to avoid on social networks, but you can Always unsubscribe Or delete these accounts or friends who do not do you good.

You can also "detoxify" or take a break from your social and focus on the realization of what you like and spend time with the people you love.

"Avoiding toxic positivity can mean composing activities such as excessive use of social media," said Holmes. "Being more aware of your relationships and people around you is also important."


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