Good Lifestyle

Talking about sex, especially to a stranger, is not something that naturally comes to many people. This can evoke feelings of embarrassment, shame or insufficiency, which is why even couples who are looking for a sex can bypass the problem. This leads to a lot of False ideas on intimacy , thinking that having fewer sexual relations means that your partner cheats to believe that sex toys are only for couples with major problems. This is why we talked about sex to learn the greatest secrets they want couples to know. Read the rest for expert advice that could change your entire perspective in the room.

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For many couples, one of the most disturbing signs in the room is when they stop having so many sexual relations. But if you have been together for a long time, it may not be quite the red flag you think.

"Understand that desire changes, reflux and flows throughout life is normal," says Gigi Engle , ACS, Resident intimacy expert to 3fun and author of All the errors of F * Cking: a guide to sex, love and life . "We have to work with him, not have unrealistic expectations."

According to Engle, there is something called new relational energy (NRE), which is this feeling of intoxicating lust when we meet someone new. "We are mainly everywhere on each other because our brains are flooded with wellness hormones like oxytocin and dopamine," she said. "This is why we feel so sexually excited and excited all the time in new relationships - we don't need all other situational factors as much."

However, once we settle in a more comfortable and familiar model, "the love hormone or the chemical oxytocin of the hug" decreases, according to Tatyana dyachenko , sex therapist and relational to Fisheries and cries . She advises long -term couples to try something new in the room To increase these chemicals.

Society tends to describe men as more likely to cheat and have a greater sexual appetite. But according to Tara Suwinyatticaporn , PHD, Sex and relationship expert at Luvbites , "Research has revealed that women are bored at sex with their partner much faster than men".

Such a study that corroborates this was published in 2017 in the British medical newspaper . He found that Women were twice as likely As men to lose interest in sex after a year of play or to live with their partner.

Likewise, a 2012 study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy concluded that " Sexual desire for women was significantly and negatively predicted by the duration of the relationship, "when this was not the case for men.

SuwinyatthaIporn says it is important to understand this so that women's partners can prioritize "passion, excitement, game and variety".

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It is a hard truth, but sometimes couples find themselves not having sex because one person has stopped finding the other attractive. "Many long -term couples do not find their partner attractive and do not lose sexual interest in them," said Suwinyatticaporn.

This does not only mean physical attraction. If you have grown grumpy or no longer liked to discuss the subjects you have used, they could also hinder your partner's desire. "The advice is quite simple, take care of yourself physically, mentally and intellectually," explains Suwinyatticaporn.

It is also important to note that women can find their partner less attractive during certain periods of their menstrual cycle, according to a 2020 study published in Biological psychology . AE0FCC31AE342FD3A1346EBB1F342FCB

"Women's Hormone levels change Through their ovulatory cycles, and these changes are likely to affect their psychology and, perhaps, the way they feel towards their romantic partner, "author of the study Francesca Righetti , an associate professor in the department of experimental psychology and applied in view of Amsterdam, told Psypost. "We found that the hormone that culminates just before ovulation, estradiol, was associated with a more negative assessment of partners."

There are so many ways to be intimate with your partner, many of which do not include penetration and do not have to end in an orgasm.

"Whenever we kiss, kiss, rub, tighten and note in a romantic partner, there is an intimate charge," explains Engle. "This does not imply the touch of the genitals, but is intimately based in that it allows us to meet the needs of sex as to feel desired, express desire and connect in a unique way as sexual partners . "

Realizing and appreciating this can remove a large part of the pressure on couples who struggle in the room. "When we have the impression that each hug, kiss and cloud will have to be followed with sex, we start to avoid it. Letting it take root in your relationship can be the balm that heals it," adds Engle.

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Sexotherapists find that, often, their customers assimilate sex toys to a problem in their sexual intimacy. But this is not the case.

"Even couples who have a big sex integrate sex toys into their sex routine for new stimulation and deeper orgasms," said Dyachenko.

According to Engle, remain curious and Try new things is, in fact, one of the best ways to recreate part of this NRE energy. "Revived relational energy is important because it encourages the new couple to spend time together and know each other," she says. "This is the moment when confidence is built and the foundations of relationships are established."

Cheating is generally considered most unforgivable offense in a relationship, but according to Lee Phillips , LCSW, a psychotherapist and Sex and couples certified therapist , with correct guidelines, infidelity can in fact strengthen a partnership.

"People do not generally wake up and say," I'm going to deceive my partner today. "Usually there is an emotional disconnection which led to resentment provoking this ultimate betrayal," explains Phillips. "Couples can learn to identify why infidelity has happened and to heal there by identifying a" new standard "of their relationship ... This is something that could have been missed for years."

To solve a problem as complex as infidelity, it is advisable to see the counselor of a couple.

Read this then: 6 ways to rekindle your sex life after 50 years, according to experts .

It may seem obvious, but the sex therapists find that so many their customers lose sight of how important it is to sex .

"There is this idea that when a couple has sex, they do. However, sex is a question of pleasure, and it is important to talk about what sex and pleasure mean for you two,", advises Phillips. She notes that in many cases, couples will discuss sex at the start of a relationship but not over time. And, as we know, sexual desires and libidos change over time.

Nicole Schafer , LPC, a Sex and relationship coach , add that communication can itself be sexy. "Learn to take things slowly and draw it. Take your time, focus on the details of each other while Communicate with your partner on what you like and don't like it, or what he likes or wants you to do, "she suggests." Accumulation and attention to detail will make your time together phenomenal. ""

It is important to remember that you and your partner should never feel uncomfortable with sex.

"The limits can be healthy, and they are a way to respect your partner," says Phillips. "Here are some examples of limits: I know that you feel sexual, but I am just no mood, can we try this weekend? I am not a reader of mind; Do you like to tell me what you think? I'm still thinking about what you said the other evening, I need more time to think about it. "

Being open will help you relax and be more receptive to privacy.